Mum-to-be and absolutely terrified of sleep deprivation

[Olegia]

Hi all,

I'm expecting my little one (first baby) in a few weeks time, and to be honest I have no stress or worries about anything (including birth), BUT sleep deprivation.

I know this will be inevitable but I just want someone to tell me that it's all going to be ok. I am afraid that I will fall into a deep depression and not be able to enjoy motherhood, or even worse, resent having had a child.

I've always been awful with sleep. I sleep really well most of the time, but I need a very specific environment (I need to sleep with ear plugs on, and an eye mask, also me and my husband sleep in separate beds - but in the same bedroom - because even his movement is enough to cause me to not have a deep sleep). If I have even one or 2 less hours of sleep than I should, my next day is ruined and I feel like a complete slobbery zombie mess.
My mental health is quite severely affected by lack of sleep (my husband tolerates it a bit better)

Do you have any words of encouragement, or any tips, or anything at all I could use?

We've purchased a Snoo, as that seems to be very helpful for most parents, we bought full black-out curtains for our bedroom, a white noise machine etc.

I was wondering the following too:
-In theory, could I introduce the bottle after 2 weeks-ish, so me and my husband can alternate nights in a different bedroom, so I get a guaranteed full night of sleep every 2 nights? (his paternity leave will be a good 8 weeks)?

Ah mates this thread really shows how all babies are different. Mine really wouldn’t be put down for the first year.

I fell asleep standing up at four months.

He even now at three years wakes every night and we’re only just moving away from cosleeping.

Kudos to everyone who gets a sleeper.

I’m very much like you. Light sleeper, easily disturbed in the early part of the night and then can’t sleep for hours if I get woken up just as I’m drifting off to sleep. Before baby my husband and I slept in separate rooms! I had ear plugs. If it wasn’t lights out for me by 10.30pm I’d feel almost hungover the next day.

Then we had a baby. For the first few weeks he wouldn’t be put down so we slept in shifts with the other one holding the baby and the other sleeping. By 7 weeks he started sleeping longer stretches in a purflo nest and only waking once. Soon he was sleeping from bedtime (late at this age as is normal) until morning (early-ish) and going 7-9 hours! Alas, that didn’t last and ever since 3.5 months it has been a regression after regression, the longest he’s slept since August last year is 4 hours and he has done it maybe 3-4 times! It’s been absolutely brutal. BUT we have managed. We make sure that each parent gets minimum 4 hours uninterrupted (as much as is possible) every night. And whilst getting out of bed sucks really bad, the rest of the day is fine. Your body just gets used to it. How sad is that? But it’s essential to survival!

So the baby is now nearly 14 months old and was waking every 2-3 hours until around 13 months, with periods of illness or teething that made him even worse, but then started sleeping through! We barely slept at all the first time he did it because we were paranoid that something was wrong. He’s now done it consistently for 3 weeks, with a few horrible nights when he had a cold.

And he’s so fun and so lovely that it’s all worth it! You will be fine, even if you get a terrible sleeper like mine. But you might get an ok one, or even a fantastic one!

I wish my wife and I had read more about sleep before our Daughter was born, she’s 1 now and is still a bad sleeper and bad napper. We just got the impression that they sleep through but we’ve not had more than a couple hours in the night, so for someone who always needed a lot of sleep it’s a big change but like what others have said, your body gets used to it eventually, I have fallen asleep feeding her which worried me. We took it in turns to begin with, I had 2 weeks paternity so it soon makes you realise you need some sort of routine. You’ll be fine and good luck.

I've got a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I won't lie, the sleep deprivation is hard (how can it not be?) But a few things that helped the second time around with hindsight:

• You can do it. You'll be amazed at times at how you can function at all on such little sleep, and yet you do.
• People say "nap when the baby naps". If you're able to do this, great! If you're not (I never could)... You'll also be ok.
• Be kind to yourself, lower expectations of what needs to be done in a day.
• Lastly... It will end!!! We're getting to a stage where broadly speaking we're back to having uninterrupted nights. It will happen! X

Thank you so much for everyone's advice! This has really helped me frame things.
Moreover, I realise I will litterally be on maternity leave for a few months, so even if my brain is gone, it's ok, that will not impact on my work whatsover