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Original poster

Please help me with 7mo sleep

10 replies

stressedout20 · 09/06/2023 19:06

Hi, I'm looking for some wisdom as I am at my wits end!
My baby is 7 months old and he is terrible at sleeping. Obviously I am doing something wrong and I feel like the worst mum in the world. Bedtime every night is a battle and usually ends with both of us crying. He doesn't sleep through, though some nights are better than others.
I am mentally and physically exhausted.
Please can someone help me with how to fix this?

I've tried leaving him and he doesn't stop crying even after 30 minutes he shows no signs of stopping.
I have tried doing a routine but he doesn't seem to connect everything up as the bedtime routine? He seems tired and has sleepy cues (yawning, rubbing eyes) but he fights sleep.
I feel like such a failure and I don't really have anyone to talk to about this in real life 😞

OP posts:
Bellabon · 09/06/2023 19:10

I feel for you! What time does he go to bed/wake for the day? And what naps does he have in the day??
Sometimes it can be a case of getting the right window. Sometimes no matter what you do it still doesn't help. I know that some people are completely anti sleep training but I think there are some softer approaches such as gradual fading etc that you could look in to. I find the huckleberry sleep app really useful for working out their wake windows and a schedule etc

TooMinty · 09/06/2023 19:12

How does he get to sleep? Do you have to feed/rock?

Original poster
stressedout20 · 09/06/2023 20:13

Bellabon · 09/06/2023 19:10

I feel for you! What time does he go to bed/wake for the day? And what naps does he have in the day??
Sometimes it can be a case of getting the right window. Sometimes no matter what you do it still doesn't help. I know that some people are completely anti sleep training but I think there are some softer approaches such as gradual fading etc that you could look in to. I find the huckleberry sleep app really useful for working out their wake windows and a schedule etc

He wakes up between 6.30-7am and I try and do bedtime for 7pm ish. I was doing it later but he was becoming overtired and it was even more of a battle.
In the day he usually naps about 9.30 for 45-60mins and again about 2.30 for the same. Sometimes more, especially if we are out and about walking/ in the car.
I just feel so overwhelmed and all the websites I read for advice make me feel more hopeless.
I think maybe I’m making it worse by breastfeeding him when he wakes in the night. I have tried to offer a bottle as I think a lot of the time he feeds for comfort overnight. But on the bad nights I just can’t take the crying and I’m so tired myself I will do anything to go back to sleep. 😕
I will take a look at that app, thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
stressedout20 · 09/06/2023 20:21

TooMinty · 09/06/2023 19:12

How does he get to sleep? Do you have to feed/rock?

Yes it does involve lots of rocking and feeding. I have tried so many times to put him down while sleepy but he just KNOWS and screams and I'm back to square one. 😥 when family have looked after him overnight they said they got him to sleep by put him down while still awake so clearly I'm the problem

OP posts:
Bellabon · 09/06/2023 20:46

You are not the problem and you are not a bad mum. You are his comfort because you are his mum and it is totally normal for him to want you. 7 months is still young (I know its absolutely exhausting). I think maybe the way to go would be looking at the more gentler sleep training methods, ones where you don't have to leave them to cry for long (not that I'm anti any method of sleep training actually, I think do what works for you) think there is the ferber method and fading method you could google

TooMinty · 10/06/2023 07:53

Ok, so he does know how to self settle then but prefers you to cuddle him (why wouldn't he 🥰)

I think it's just down to how much sleep training you are prepared to do/how much crying. Pick up/put down worked on my DS2 with minimal crying. I'd get a bear or blanket for him to cuddle and sleep with it in your pjs for a while so it smells of you.

Sweetestp · 10/06/2023 20:04

Sounds like my boy, at any hint of wanting to put him down for a nap he gets angry and cries😅 i sometimes think its a personality thing.. like they are just extraverted and have fomo..

but in all seriousness, please stop thinking youre a/the problem, all babies are so so different, so reading online is also really unhelpful. Babies ‘sleeping through’ at this age is an unrealistic idea, my 6 and a half month old wakes a gazillion times and so does my friends’ 7 month old. If you are still breastfeeding him at night YOU ARE DOING A GOOD THING! We tend to have the idea we need to fix our baby or get him to do the right things.. he’s human and will do and prefer things in his own way, it sounds like you’re doing a great job, please stop being hard on yourself and comparing yourself!

Have you ever heard of WonderWeeks? It describes developmental leaps that babies go through and predicts fussy phases, so accurate for us! And during his fussy phase EVERY SINGLE NAP happens with many tears, its exhausting but understanding what he is going through helped me realise i need to just be patient and its just a phase - as with most things.
I understand you want to try sleep training and there’s no reason not to, just dont do it only cause you feel like you're failing him, this is all very normal baby behaviour.

well done momma!

Original poster
stressedout20 · 11/06/2023 22:09

Hi I just wanted to thank you all for helping me with this, I am so grateful! I wrote my original post through tear filled eyes after another difficult bedtime. Reading your posts has made me feel full of hope and less alone!
I’ve had a look at Ferber and faded methods and I think we will try with faded from tomorrow (as have been away over the weekend).
And it’s reassuring to know it’s normal and won’t last forever. I guess because I’m going back to work soon it would be nice to have some sort of routine for my own sanity and tiredness levels. I guess me getting so stressed about the whole thing probably doesn’t help and he probably can sense it!!
I will also take a look at wonder weeks as that sounds interesting and potentially helpful. I definitely agree, our little ones are the same with getting FOMO 🤣

Can I just ask your opinions, should I move him back into our room while we establish a routine and then move him back into his own room? Or is that stupid and I should start the new routine but keep him in his own room?

Also just to say thank you for making me see I am doing okay and you all sound like you’re doing an amazing job of motherhood 😊

OP posts:
IntergalacticP · 11/06/2023 22:15

Hello, I have a 7 month old too. I wonder if he could maybe do with squeezing in one more nap? My ds is up at 8, nap 9.30 then nap at 12.30ish then last nap at 3.30 or 4 with bed at 8. Doesn't usually sleep more than an hour at each nap. Mine doesn't sleep through either but if we miss one of these naps he is inconsolable when I try to put him down for bedtime!

Bellabon · 13/06/2023 11:40

I would probably start any new routine in his room otherwise he may get used to being back with you & be unsettled again with a change back. But whatever you feel would work best for your boy

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