newborn baby not settling to sleep unless held!

[fabmrsv]

hi i am first time mum of a three week old new born baby boy. i suspect a lot of this is normal behaviour but he is now hardly sleeping at all unless he is lying on someone or in someone's arms. he will be fine, not hungry, not apparently needing winded etc totally asleep on me and then as soon as i put him down he gets all agitated and crying! does anybody have any advice about how to change this or even some positive words that babies grow out of this?! am totally shattered!!

My baby has tried this a few times since we brought her home from hospital. She was 9 weeks early and it is soo tempting to hold her all the time cos been deprived of cuddles in her first few weeks.

However although you can't 'spoil' a baby by cuddling it you do need to go about normal day to day things too. I put her down and if sheis fractious I hold her hand and cradle her head untl she settles - usually only a few minutes and then slowly move away. Does the trick most of the time.

Also have you thought about buying a wrap sling - I've just got the Moby Wrap (£29.50 from SASA slings) - then you can cuddle baby and get on with everything else at the same time!

totally normal, go with the flow and enjoy those cuddles
slings are fab, recommend freedom pouch for newborns, you just get on with thigs while they snooze

Is it the lack of contact or the position he seems to object to? i.e. if you lie down with him so that you are still touching him and then move away after a while, does he start crying when you put him down or when you move away?

If it's when you put him down he may not be comfortable lying flat - try raising the head of the cot a bit and see if that helps. If the contact, what rascal said sounds good...

Totally normal!!! My dd never slept in her moses basket only with me!! I did not want a baby carrier (so worried could trip whilst out walking and squash my baby) but borrowed one and was soooo helpful to use at home. At his age, you are the only thing he knows and gets comfort from being close to you. He's crying for a reason, if he's fed and dry the reason is he wants the comfort of being close to his mummy.

You can still do housework, make a sarnie, be able to read all those helpful baby magazines etc with a sling and hoovering is always a winner. Sleep with a clean tshirt and leave that with him in his moses basket as that will have your smell (in the nicest possible way of course!) which will be comforting for him.

Take him out for a walk in the pram, even just to local shops for milk, fresh air will make him slepp and force your eyes to stay open when you've had no sleep. It's like being hit by a truck isn't it?? But totally normal and yes it really does get better though I know it doesn't feel like it now!! Take care x

mine is 6 wks old and she does this.
if she wakes for a night feed it takes about 5 mins to get her settled after and lay her on my chest til she's asleep,then i can lay her in her moses basket,sometimes longer cos she wakes up and starts crying,during the day it can take up to half hour+ to settle her again.
i really want to get out of the habit of this but it's hard.
i let her grizzle for a bit during the week but DH doesn't at the weekends.
but i do enjoy the cuddles.
it's hard not to cuddle.

It is totally normal, you're right And yes, he will grow out of it pretty quickly.

He is a tiny baby who was tucked up tight inside you juat a few days ago, warm, cosy, comfortable, food on tap, comfort on tap. Now he's suddenly in this huge bright open space with all sorts of strange noises and sensations around him. It's no wonder he just wants to be close to you, really.

Make the most of it, I remember how frustrating it is when you spend all day with a baby snuggled on your chest but the newborn bit flies by and it will be over all too soon. I miss those lovely snuggly times.

The sling is a good idea, also swaddling tightly can ease the transition from arms to bed. I used to put a blanket on my chest and lift baby and blanket into the moses basket so there wasn't a sudden change in temp from my warm chest to a cold sheet. A t'shirt that smells of you wrapped around the mattress also helps.

The constant holding eases off by about 6 weeks iirc and they are happier to be put down for short periods.

Congratulations on your baby!