2 year old taking ~2 hours to sleep

[law85]

Advice appreciated! My 2 year old has become a nightmare to settle. He takes around 2 hours to go to sleep, is painfully clingy, wanting to be held/have his hand held etc…while going to sleep. On a good night we can hold his hand for 20 mins then gradually retreat but even then he’ll be singing/chatting to himself for an hour (it’s extremely adorable). While we hold his hand he’s usually happily singing to himself rather than settling. On a bad day he wants to be held/rocked for 2 hours.

We put him down at 7.30, actually goes to sleep anywhere between 7.30 & 9, & he wakes quite consistently around 7.30am. Once he’s down he mostly sleeps through.

He still naps, usually at 1/1.30 for 90 minutes. I feel like he really still needs this nap as if we cap it at an hour he’s tired & teary. If he skips it altogether he’s deranged, and can take a few days to recover.

Any advice for getting him to settle sooner/more quickly/even independently? Shall I move his bedtime later? We sleep trained at 10 months using controlled crying but he’s too old to do that again.

My other idea was getting him a Yoto Player. Worth it??

Any thoughts/tips appreciated!

Honestly, I think 7.30 is too late for a 2yo. When mine were 2 they would be in bed for 6.30-7.

Keep the nap for now, one of mine dropped them before age 2 and the other was still napping at 3!

Try putting audible stories on, they do a really nice kids range of bedtime stories. Then a new teddy, a lavender spray, a night light and a new routine. Spray, quick cuddle and a ‘listening story’ while Mummy goes to clean up the kitchen or for a poo 🤣 (aka run downstairs and cross fingers he drifts off). Dont go back, and if he comes out, straight back with a stern word that big boys who get new teddies and listening stories have to stay in their bedrooms.

I think the opposite. 7.30 is really early for a child who still naps. Either drop the nap or have a later bedtime. My DDs dropped their nap at 2 and then got more sleep in a 24 hours period then before. Different things suit different families.

Get him really really tired after his nap in the afternoon early evening. Then put him to bed at nine and see if he nods off. If after few days he can go to sleep reliably at 9, then move the WHOLE evening 15 mins earlier. Rinse and repeat.

As soon as we dropped the nap (at 2 years old) DS went to bed every evening at 7 and fell asleep within 10-20 minutes.

Before that, he would go to bed at 8/9 and take an hour to fall asleep. Was awful. Dropping the nap was the best thing we did.

I like what @SeaToSki suggested!

But also, get outside after the nap and tire him right out and then in bed for between 8 and 8:30.

At 2 Dd would go to sleep at 10pm if she had a nap. I think your DS is probably moving towards dropping the nap.

What have you tried so far @law85?

I agree with getting him outside as much as possible and it's a great time of year to do it. So trips to the park, scooter rides, kicking a ball or even just watering the plants in the garden. There will be lots of ideas for outside activities on Pinterest if you need a bit of inspiration.

My DD was more difficult to settle but would drift off eventually with her light and music thingy going.

Have you tried something that smells of you in the cot?

These suggestions are all fantastic! Yes he’s a really active boy so we’re in the park often twice a day getting him worn out!!! I think the idea of pushing back till 8/8.30 is good, to build up the sleep associations. I also wonder if we are moving towards dropped nap & we’re in this no man’s land till it happens. Thanks so much for these brilliant suggestions!!!!