SLEEP!

[ShannyZ]

Hey! My DS is 4 weeks old, first few days were bliss but since then he will not sleep unless he is held, I feel as if my other two children have lulled me into a false sense of security lol! They were so good in regards to be setting down to sleep still partially or fully awake to go to sleep but my DS just will not sleep unless he's being held by me. My partner is useless so i can't ask him to hold the baby while I catch a few zzz's or anything to be honest. It's getting so draining having such little sleep, I've tried swaddling him, putting him down when he is asleep, putting him down partially awake so he can just fall asleep, tried a dummy despite not wanting to use one, tried white noise, rocking him then putting him down, rocking him in his swinging crib.. I'm literally at a loss on what to do?? Is it just a phase or is this just how its going to be? I don't really want to have to use a sling all day as my back is in bits from having a spinal block.. im not comfortable with co-sleeping. People keep telling me it's setting me up for a rod for my own back as he will get use to it, people commenting on how he shouldn't be using me to settle to sleep or how he should be able to just go off by himself. Not to mention its taking its toll on my other two children as I can't give them the attention they need/want.

This isn't just bedtime, this is any time of the day.. he will refuse to go to fall asleep then gets over tired and it becomes a whole other story.

Help please!?!?!

Well first you, congratulations on your baby.
Secondly, ignore anyone saying you're making a rod for your own back and all that other nonsense.
Thirdly, this is really normal. Have a Google at fourth trimester.

It's very tough, my 1st was like this and I was hoping my 2nd wouldn't be but sadly he is/was.

It is very hard . As you don't want to co-sleep then I think all you can do is persevere. I would say try feeding and then holding for about 10 or so minutes until they are very asleep and then slowly transfer, keeping as much of your body in contact for as long as you can. Then hold onto their arms while they settle in the cot and it will hopefully work. Also try warming the cot up with a hot water bottle first. Tbh none of these worked with DS and DD occasionally slept in her cot so she wasn't as bad. But this is advice I've seen and did help with DD.
Naps are different obviously and I would say a sling but could you maybe try a sling library where there are a variety of carriers you could try and see if there is one comfortable.
I had a sling with DD and it was great, tried using it with DS and it was killing so I got a different carrier that is much better for us.

Hope it gets better as I know how rubbish it is.
I co-sleep with DS and the first few weeks I had to sleep propped up on with him on my chest.

I don't trust myself to co sleep & when partner is home from work there is barely enough room in the bed 😂.

Please tell me it gets easier and he will start to settle on his own without having to be held??
Feel like I'm loosing my mind trying to try all these different things to get him settled down.

But I will have a look at a different sling maybe it's just mine that is causing the back pain more!

I must of got lucky with Mt first two children!

Thank you for replying x

I never thought I could co-sleep but it was the only way any of us got sleep to start with.

It will definitely get better but each child is different so it really is a waiting game.

They feel like they're an extension of us for the first few months and beating really, then around 4 months their sleep cycles change so a lot of people notice more problems, then you get 8ish month separation anxiety. 🤦🏻‍♀️
The first 12 months with DD was so up and down but at 12 months she started sleeping through and that was that.
I'm guessing DS will be the same as he also seems quite sensitive plus he was premature.

Definitely try some different carriers out as it's the only was I get anything done with a toddler aswell x