Let's dispel the myth that 'everyone else's baby is sleeping through the night'- ha ha!

[Floppytulips]

Mine was up at 11, 1.30, 3.30 and 5.30 last night- a good night for her (3 1/2 months).

Also, silly things you do when you are knackered: me, stopping the buggy in the middle of the street for 5 minutes cos I couldn't figure out how to put my gloves on......

How about yours?

Cote, it was these two sentences from you that wound people up:

'When I read thread like these and realize people have kids who don't sleep through way after their 1st or 2nd birthdays, I feel lucky we had the paed to show us the way at the time.'

'If we hadn't cut out the night feeds at that point and showed a bit of tough love for a few nights, she would not have slept through on her own for a long time to come. I would probably be here right now, asking how I can get my 2.5 yr old to sleep through the night.'

The implication of what you are saying is 'mine is the right way because my child slept through at 4mo, yours is the wrong way because your child still wakes age 1/2/3yo. If you did what I did then your child would sleep too.'You may not have meant it to come across that way but it did.

The OP was making the point that it seems as though everyone else's child but hers sleeps through and wanting to be reassured that isn't the case. She also wanted to discuss the daft things we do when we're exhausted. The 'How about yours?' refers to how many times your child woke in the night and what silly things you've done.

'If you want to see posts only from people whose kids don't sleep through, yes, you will think sleeping through is a myth.' You've missed the point here. We do only want to see posts from people who have non sleepers because it reassures us that we aren't alone and that it's not something we're doing wrong. It's far more common to come across people whose children have slept through from an early age because parents of non sleepers don't brag about it the way early sleepers do. I know some babies sleep through, 2 of mine did but this one doesn't and I like knowing that lots of other people are in the same boat as me.

Olihan - I don't care what got you to come out guns blazing, because all I did was tell my experience. Yes, paediatrician told us to sleep train DD. Yes, I am convinced she would still be killing us at night if we didn't. Yes, I love that woman for having told us to do what we did.

I didn't say I know best or my method is best etc. Just that it worked for us. I didn't judge and nor did I go "I am speechless" at other people's parenting choices - a practice you might like to emulate.

But Cote, it was pretty obvious from the thread title and the op that this was a lighthearted thread to tell each other how badly our kids were sleeping.

Just to clarify on my OP for mums with sleepy babies!

I meant that it is a myth that every baby should and can sleep all night from a very young age, and it is all too easy to become despondent (when up again for the 5th time in the night) by thinking that this should not be happening because ALL babies sleep at night if you do things right...

Of course many babies do sleep right from the start which is really lovely for those mums, and many do in the end after lots of hard work, which is great again, but it seems (from this thread at least)that many many many don't for a long time, no matter how many techniques you try (and there's nothing wrong with you or your baby if that is the case!).

Anyway I'm being marched off to bed now by DH after falling asleep at the dinner table Will be thinking of all the other mums out there awake (and some lucky ones fast asleep) tonight. Good luck all!

Sweet dreams Floppy - if you're asleep long enough to dream that is!

Having a 14mo who does not sleep is not a 'choice'. If I had a choice in the matter he'd be sleeping 12 hours straight but he doesn't. It's not through lack of trying, it's not through lack of wanting, it's not through lack of understanding about how babies sleep. It's because, for whatever reason, he can't.

To come onto a thread about poor sleepers and tell us that your dd slept through from 4mo because you cut out night feeds and gave her some tough love isn't helpful, it wasn't especially relevant to the OP and it came across as smug and superior, regardless of your intentions. I'm sure you are pleased, I'd be absolutely ecstatic if someone could get ds2 to sleep through in 3 nights time but it's not going to happen. I don't need to know that it worked for you, I need to know that I am not the only one going (not so) quietly mad through lack of sleep.

Night night Floppy, will be following you up to bed very shortly..........

(in case you wonder what the footsteps on your stairs are )

Will be thinking of you all in the night, especially the poster who wakes up (well her baby does) at 2.30a.m. and she has to stroke and kiss him for an hour. I will be doing the same...(let's hope not tonight)

LOL ds is nearly 3 and still doesn't sleep through

Whatever rocks your boat, Tipex. I guess you remember me from a previous thread. I don't remember you. Have a good life.

Floppy - Sorry for thinking this was a thread for all experiences, sleeping through or not. Didn't mean to disturb the uniformity of posts.

To be fair, Tipex (and I've not had much involvement in the thread), I don't think a professional would be entirely negligent to suggest no night feed at four months.

All babies are very different in many respects, and feeding is one of them. At four months, there's no way my baby would need feeding at night. He woke early, don't get me wrong, but he didn't wake in the middle of the night and want feeding.

I don't know the history between you and Cote, but generally speaking, if you've had a bust-up with someone on a previous thread, you shouldn't raise it on an unrelated thread.

Just to add another tale of woe - it's 3am and I've been feeding the babe for 2 hours now and still no signs of sleepiness. Thank goodness for laptops since I've managed to read just about all the books in the house in the last three months of wakeful nights!

DD 17 months and a regular and frequent waker.

Last night I was up with ds2 at 10pm, dd at 11pm, ds1 at 12:15, ds2 at 3:45 - 5am, dd at 5:15 and ds2 got up at 6am.

DH works away so it's all down to me. It was a particularly bad night but by no means the worst.

No wonder I get tetchy when I feel I'm being told I should have been tougher!

Latchmeregirl your post really helped me, the bit about being awake, and not awake and cross. I was much more relaxed last night. dd2 did wake about 3 times for a quick kiss/dummy replacement. Awake again just before 5 for a lovely long feed, which in a strange way I enjoyed. (she certainly did!)

Interestingly when I talk to rl friends whose babies have been sleeping through from a few weeks, it's interesting if you enquire a little further what they mean by this. One friend - "oh yes, since a few weeks old." Me: "but doesn't he ever lose his dummy?" "yes but we get up a few times to pop it back in!!"

Another friend "Oh yes, since a few weeks old" Me: "when does he have his last evening feed?" -"Oh we feed him around 11, then he is up at 4am for a morning feed"

(now imo this is quite normal, but not really what I would define as sleeping through)

Well last night ds1 was up at 10pm, 11pm, 11.30pm and 12,15am then slept till 6am

I don't feel any better for it though

Morning all
Olihan - that was a busy night - how are you feeling now? Any silly things been done by anyone yet today?
My night was not so bad - up at 1.00 then at 4 as DD is a little wriggler at the moment! She has started to have lively, wakeful periods in the night which she never had before. Usually she can settle herself back to sleep but at least once a night she manages to jam herself widthways right at the top of her cot. I have to rescue her and although she doesn't NEED feeding as such, it's the only thing that settles her. I am wondering if there is an 8 month growth spurt? Hopefully she will settle back down. Maybe she needs some 'tough love!' hee hee.

OPOL, during my quest for the elusive full night's sleep I read the No Cry Sleep Solution and the author reckons that sleeping through is when they do a period from midnight to about 5am. I'm not convinced, for me it would be for him to ge from about 11pm to 6am but I'd still consider sleeping through to be 11-12 hours without waking.

Interesting how the spin on 'sleeping through' changes the more you question, isn't it!

Mags, 6 hours in a stretch is good going. Does he do that often?

I had a hissy fit at the dcs this morning because I couldn't find my moisturiser. I knew they'd being messing with it while I was trying to drag myself out of bed but it wasn't anywhere to be found. Until I looked in the bathroom cabinet and realised I'd put it away so I knew where it was after my shower. Oops . Cue a very apologetic mummy.

OLSF, I'm just a bit dozy (not that you'd notice anything different to normal ) and letting the dcs watch too much tv. Ah well, it won't kill them!

Thank god for mumsnet- before I found threads like these I thought that I was just a complete failure- everyone we know who has a 5 month old has babies which sleep for at least a 6-7 stretch. My dd has not needed to feed after 11pm for 2 months now but still wakes almost hourly and takes up to an hour to settle again- she is completely incapable of settling herself to sleep and has to have the dummy repeatedly put back in and her hands held in the swaddle. It is a complete nightmare and gets gradually worse and worse! So cutting out night feeds is unfortunately not the easy answer...

dd1 didn't sleep through till she was 2.4, even now at 3.1 she will get up to go for a pee.

dd2 - 6mo is up at least once between 7.30pm and 6am if not twice.

i do all the stupid things too - wonder if i've left dd2 in her car seat somewhere (once was reversing out of the drive when i realised she was still in the house )

frequently put dirty dishes in the fridge and the butter in the sink.

tried to squeeze dd1 into dd2 tights

do a tesco food order for us but send it to MIL who is 1 hour 45 min away or once sent it to DP's old address (first we knew about that was when they phoned to asked why no-one was in)

You know what, rather than cheering me up that loads of other people are in the same boat, it has really depressed me that people are still getting up to LOs over 2 .

Don't think I can handle another year or so of sleepless nights .

My2weegirls, haven't seen you on the north of the border thread for a while...

My DD 5.5 slept thru briefly as a baby & never since. Have tried EVERYTHING including Cote's method and it simply didn't work. I'm a poor sleeper and she seems to have inherited a poor sleeping gene - talking to others in same boat seems to confirm this. Sleep clinic said that to have an "average" amount of sleep, there'll always be a range, with some ch at extreme ends of the scale - and we've got one of them, tho as getting older can sometimes managed 10 (interrupted) hours.
DS 3.5 is only just sleeping thru now (10 hrs) - tho still occasionally wakes early hours, and if 5.30am or later, that can be it for the night.
This thread makes me feel so much better.
My face has ages YEARS since having kids and suffering so much lack of sleep!