Let's dispel the myth that 'everyone else's baby is sleeping through the night'- ha ha!

[Floppytulips]

Mine was up at 11, 1.30, 3.30 and 5.30 last night- a good night for her (3 1/2 months).

Also, silly things you do when you are knackered: me, stopping the buggy in the middle of the street for 5 minutes cos I couldn't figure out how to put my gloves on......

How about yours?

DS2 did not sleep through before 2.

ds2 7mo and has never "slept through"

last night woke 5 (?) times. up for the day at 5:45

At 4 months you thought she was a bad sleeper because she woke 3 hourly for feeds? She was a 16 week old baby, of course she woke for night feeds.She'd spent twice as long as that inside you, getting nourishment on tap, then you expect her to stop that because she 'ought' to be sleeping through. I find that a strange mindset.

As for 'tough love' on a 4 month old. I'm speechless. I'm not against sleep training in any shape or form, I used CC on ds1 when he went through a bad patch but not at 4 months. A 4 month old baby is tiny. There is so much evidence against sleep training on babies under 6 mo, I'm shocked a paediatrician even suggested it.

Message withdrawn

DD still wakes up and she is 4.......although to be honest she has never slept and I have posted numerous times about it over the past 4 years...DS woke up at 12am and 4am then slept until 8.30 he is 7 months and poorly, but generally wakes up once during the night, he is all round a better sleeper than DD

DS aged 3.5 still not slept through night on a regular basis but is so much better now at nursery. We get 7pm till 6.30am a couple of nights a week now but 'usual' pattern is crying at 11pm and half 3am then a half 6 start. We wait up for the 11pm one so only get woken the once!. Parents who think it is something they 'do' (or dont do) that makes the difference are very wrong. My DS (aged 4.5) HAS slept through from the age of 3 months every single night for 12 hours even when ill and through all the DS screaming too. Every kid is different. My heart goes out to all sleep deprived parents - keep the faith!

ds slept through reliably at about 2 - dd (nearly 2) is getting reaonably reliable.
Not we're coming out of it, actually some of my best memories with both of them are middle-of-the-night ones: bfing ds whilst dh snored gently next to me, his ear lit up by a little nightlight
cuddling up to dd as she held me tightly round my neck & said 'mummy, snuggle you"
I mean, some of my worst memories with ds are (lack of) sleep related too, but in retrospect, it ain't all bad.

I personally dont see CC as 'tough love'. I used it in the hope that it would teach dd2 good sleep associations and tbh it worked and I have never looked back. I dont think it is cruel. I agree that it does not work for everyone. If I have any more children I would certainly try it again.

Well said Olihan. My dd1 slept very well of her own accord from an early age. I admit thinking when friends had little ones that didn't sleep so well "what on earth is the problem?" (thankfully I never said it...)

Then dd2 arrived and ha ha, I wasn't so lucky 2nd time round.

I thought this thread was more of a supportive type thread rather than people (well one) popping up to say what we are all doing wrong.

Thankfully my opinions have changed anyway, my aim is to have a happy baby, not necessarily one that doesn't inconvience me between 8pm and 8am (or whenver "official" night time is in our house!) She is happy, just not quite ready to go for 12 hours without a drink or a cuddle.

inconvenience

Have just read back over what Cote D,Azur must have said to incite such responses. The worrying thing is that she expresses exactly what I thought people were thinking about me and my DS until I realized they werent and now it turns out they are!!! Im not paranoid everyone DOES think I am a shit mum. Maybe she is a Health Visitors (ggrrrr). If Cote D,Azure is last holiday destination then I will now becoming Bognor Regis - is sleep a class issue perhaps?.

You're going to get a really bad sleeper next time, Cote D'Azur. You mark my words! PMSL...

Ds1 is 14 months and has slept through erm..........NEVER!!

Last night wasn't too bad, bed at 7.30pm, up at 12am, up again at 12.45am, and then again at 5am.

The other night he was up every hour or so all night

Tiredness is a way of life to be honest I think my body would go into shock if I got proper sleep

Dd (3) wakes up a couple of times a week in the night - last night it was about 1am, I think. Just a quick kiss and back to sleep. She slept through from about 11mo, I think.

Ds (8 mo) is far worse than she ever was. The best we've ever had from him was an 11pm and 5am wake up. Once. These days it's always three times a night, sometimes four and when he wakes around 2.30am he will NOT go back to sleep without an hour of stroking and kissing. I love him dearly but I'm about to crack. Dh away on business and it's my first week back at work . He'll get there in the end, I'd just prefer it to be sooner rather than later...

Since having ds2 I am firmly of the belief that how your child sleeps is entirely down to luck. Nothing else.

Sleep training only works if your child just needs a prod in the right direction but is ready to sleep through anyway.

For ds2, sleep training meant weeks of him refusing to even go into his cot, no matter how fast asleep he was. The second he felt the downwards movement he'd start to scream. It took night after night of gradual retreat before he was happy in it again and he still doesn't go through, despite the fact he 'knows' how to fall asleep on his own.

CC/ sleep training is touted as being the 'cure' for non sleepers but it really isn't and I think you can only appreciate that if you have a non sleeper.

Mags, I know how you feel, I went away for 2 nights last week and had 9 hours straight sleep both nights. I felt absolutely terrible both days .

Oh I long for a night away.............

But who would look after 5 kids including a terrible sleeper

Plus i'm still b/f through the night so it wouldn't work.

I am tempted to stay at my mums house from 11pm till 6am and let dh give him a bottle but she only lives 3 roads away and I know I would crack and come home

Lucky smug you Cote D'azure.

All babies are different and wake up for different reasons.

My DS wakes up cause he is itchy, not because he wants a feed and no amount of controlled crying will make any difference.

I went to my dsis' which is 150 miles away and the PILs had the 3 dcs. Can see it's trickier for you though.

TBH, it makes no difference at all whether I feed ds2 or not. Even if dh does all the wakings he still wakes and settles in a similar pattern to if I go in. So it's not hunger waking him. I've given up working out what it is now.

My 7 month old goes through phases. Last night he went from 6:20 - 6am, and I only had to get up once, but by the time I had got to the door of his room he was asleep again!!

The other night he refused to sleep until 4am.....

On the average night he will wake up once or twice and just require a bit of soothing to go back to sleep. I think that I am very lucky, although I used to think I was doing something wrong for him to wake up at all. I thought before I had my son that all babies slept through and it was easy to get them to do that.

I agree its not hunger, its purely habit but I haven't got the energy to sort it out

oh my god - I'm not sure if this thread is comforting or terrifying. I live in hope that DS will sleep through at some point but he doesn't seem in a hurry! He's nearly 2 (years)...

Olihan you are so right about sleep training. Dd slept through after 2 nights of leaving her to grumble to herself - it wasn't even really crying. She was ready, and it worked a treat...

We've tried various strategies (not CC) with ds, and no joy. Gradual withdrawal and PU/PD didn't make a dent in his nocturnal shenanigans. Despite what we are told, these strategies don't always work and can have the effect of making you feel worse about the situation. I'm trying to resign myself to broken nights for the next few months...at least then I'll just be awake, not awake and cross

Me either, Mags. I've done all the sleep training I can handle and it makes sod all difference so I'm resigned(ish) to waiting it out until he does it himself. Dec06 has a new thread if you've been looking for us, btw. How's your dh's arms?

LOL, latchmeregirl. That's the state I'm trying to reach, hence the 'ish'. By the 3rd waking of the night I'm usually swearing under my breath as I drag myself up the stairs again .