Page 2 | 20 month old, hysterical. Won’t go near cot anymore

Tiredmummy101 · 2023-05-25T22:39:42+00:00

Please someone help! I have posted previously about how my son has always been an awful sleeper, but this past month has been horrendous. He wakes for hours and hours and night screaming hysterical, I have tried everything to settle him but he won’t let you hold, won’t co-sleep, won’t take a teddy, chucks a bottle away. He goes mad! Now he has taken to screaming and kicking / punching if you put him anywhere near his cot. This is madness because he won’t sleep in the bed with us either. I am also pregnant and work full time so this is really killing me 🙈 what do I do folks, please help! Has anyone else had this. I didn’t get much response on my last post so starting to worry my boy is the only one like this 🙈

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UpUpUpU · 26/05/2023 07:47

Oh op, you poor thing!

the only thing that helped my son at that age was moving into a bed. He used to throw himself around in his sleep and wake himself hitting the cot sides. He really did sleep better once in a bed, but then had the issue of getting out of bed. This was much easier to cope with though!

good luck op and stay strong x

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 26/05/2023 23:30

Wow thank you so much for all your responses and fantastic advice. We went out and bought a duvet and pillow for him today, we kept bedtime really chill and just let him potter about until he looked tired (this was about 8pm ish so I was chuffed with that) when he saw that I had made his cot up with the duvet he was so excited, he got into bed no problem and had a blast rolling about in his new duvet. So far he is still asleep, he has kicked the duvet off but he looks so comfortable. I am just wondering if the sleeping bag was too restrictive and he was getting too hot like you guys said!

I am sure he will wake up soon but so far so good, have my fingers and toes crossed 🤞

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Goingcrazyimsure · 26/05/2023 23:37

So he sounds like my DD and one day I randomly decided to cut out dairy and she slept. It was immediate. We have now done from 4-5 wakes ups (minimum) to 0-1
I can't believe I went for 2 years before trying this! I always say it can't hurt to try 🤷!!

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 00:12

Tiredmummy101 · 26/05/2023 23:30

Wow thank you so much for all your responses and fantastic advice. We went out and bought a duvet and pillow for him today, we kept bedtime really chill and just let him potter about until he looked tired (this was about 8pm ish so I was chuffed with that) when he saw that I had made his cot up with the duvet he was so excited, he got into bed no problem and had a blast rolling about in his new duvet. So far he is still asleep, he has kicked the duvet off but he looks so comfortable. I am just wondering if the sleeping bag was too restrictive and he was getting too hot like you guys said!

I am sure he will wake up soon but so far so good, have my fingers and toes crossed 🤞

Spoke too soon 🙈

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LGBirmingham · 27/05/2023 07:36

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 00:12

Spoke too soon 🙈

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That's still much better than you were getting though isn't it? How was the rest of the night?

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 27/05/2023 08:09

Bedtime sounds like it was so much less stressful last night. Hopefully he didn’t wake too much in the night?

Some children just don’t sleep through for ages, for context - my 20 month old went to sleep at 8.15pm last night, woke at 10.45pm, 2.30am, 5.30am, then up at 7.45am. However, I think the biggest thing that makes this more manageable is getting them back to sleep easily. I really hope this improves for you.

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 21:49

LGBirmingham · 27/05/2023 07:36

That's still much better than you were getting though isn't it? How was the rest of the night?

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Yes definitely a lot better, he was awake screaming for an hour and a half, fell back asleep then slept the rest of the night 😲 I am not getting my hopes up for tonight as we had to put the sleeping bag back on him as he wasn’t coping too well with the duvet but I’m sure it’s takes a wee while for them to get used to it

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Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 21:51

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 27/05/2023 08:09

Bedtime sounds like it was so much less stressful last night. Hopefully he didn’t wake too much in the night?

Some children just don’t sleep through for ages, for context - my 20 month old went to sleep at 8.15pm last night, woke at 10.45pm, 2.30am, 5.30am, then up at 7.45am. However, I think the biggest thing that makes this more manageable is getting them back to sleep easily. I really hope this improves for you.

Yes exactly I honestly am used to the waking up it’s the difficulty we have getting him back to sleep because he is so fussy with being settled. He doesn’t like being held, or even touched, he also screams worse if you go into his room at all. The only thing that works at the moment is controlled crying but that is taking nearly 2 hours some nights.

How do you settle your little one?

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Alloveragain3 · 27/05/2023 22:15

Not sure whereabouts you are, but we're London and it's been 22'c in my DS's bedroom the last few nights.

He'd be way too warm with a sleeping bag or duvet.

He's got a t-shirt and nappy and light sheet which he kicks off straight away. We leave it off.

If it's warm would the duvet or sleeping bag not be making your DS too hot to stay asleep?

ToughAndDurable · 27/05/2023 22:36

My DS hated his cot always. We got rid really early and got a double bed and got full length double sides on. We make the bed with fleece covers tucked in so it’s snuggly and pop him on top of those with a thin toddler blanket for him if he needs cover. He got better very quickly and within a week was sleeping through 90% of nights. I do think as he is a bit of a fidget this made it more comfortable for him

LGBirmingham · 27/05/2023 22:42

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 21:49

Yes definitely a lot better, he was awake screaming for an hour and a half, fell back asleep then slept the rest of the night 😲 I am not getting my hopes up for tonight as we had to put the sleeping bag back on him as he wasn’t coping too well with the duvet but I’m sure it’s takes a wee while for them to get used to it

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That's great. So one issue was clearly the cot/sleeping bag. Now you've just got the split night to work out. That will be to do with the nap and bedtime most likely. Good luck!

Thebigblueballoon · 27/05/2023 22:42

Have you tried white noise in the background? You could introduce if after he’s fallen asleep. Try it.

Pastaf0rbreakfast · 27/05/2023 22:55

@Tiredmummy101 It’s tricky when you are out of resettling options…DS breastfeeds to sleep, which is challenging itself, we have had 2/3 occasions in the last week or so where he has accepted being cuddled to sleep after a short feed so we are getting there but it’s a long road. We’ve been focusing on bedtime routine (nothing crazy, just few things we always do), and layering sleep associations. So we play the same music every night while he falls asleep, I lie with him on his bed and feed but I also stroke his head, or if he doesn’t tolerate that, I just rest my hand gently on side of his head. Then I’m gradually stopping the feed before he is fully asleep and keeping the cuddle/stroking/music going. He also has a blankie.

It’s been hard finding things he likes as I’ve tried lots of other things he hasn’t liked.

None of this will probably help much, but just to say that it really is trial and error!

Cakeandcoffee93 · 27/05/2023 23:00

If I’m honest OP controlled crying might be making him more anxious and scared of sleeping- have you also tried a night light? And reading before bed? I read to my little one til she falls asleep listening.

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 23:37

Cakeandcoffee93 · 27/05/2023 23:00

If I’m honest OP controlled crying might be making him more anxious and scared of sleeping- have you also tried a night light? And reading before bed? I read to my little one til she falls asleep listening.

The issue I’m having is that I’m out of options. He gets worse if you try to hold him (kicks and punches me), I’ve also tried sitting in the room with him not holding him but this makes him really angry I ended up sitting with him for over 3 hours with him screaming non stop. So far the controlled crying is the only things that’s working, it’s just taking a long time to work 🙈
we have a night light on, he has had white noise and blackout blinds also. We always read before bed but 9 time out of 10 now he doesn’t really listen he is just pottering about looking through all his books etc

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Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 27/05/2023 23:38

Alloveragain3 · 27/05/2023 22:15

Not sure whereabouts you are, but we're London and it's been 22'c in my DS's bedroom the last few nights.

He'd be way too warm with a sleeping bag or duvet.

He's got a t-shirt and nappy and light sheet which he kicks off straight away. We leave it off.

If it's warm would the duvet or sleeping bag not be making your DS too hot to stay asleep?

I’m in north east Scotland, so not that hot I’m afraid 😂

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Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 27/05/2023 23:40

Could be be in pain or becoming ill? Even if he seems ok during the day he could be distracted and then he focuses on it at night?
Or maybe he has nightmares and that's made him scared.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 27/05/2023 23:42

I'm north east Scotland too :)

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 29/05/2023 22:26

Thought I would give a wee update on my sons current sleeping situation.
We are now trialing the duvet at nap times and hope to introduce it to bedtimes soon, we also bought him a soft baby doll, he now takes this to bed and puts her to sleep this has made bedtimes alot better no more screaming going into the cot. During the night we have seen a massive improvement, last night he woke for 30 mins and slept the rest of the night. It was amazing 🤩
we are talking about the new baby coming around him and I think that may have upset his sleep, but now that he has his own baby to take care of it seems to have helped.

I have my fingers crossed this works. Thank you everyone for your amazing support and advice, you kept me sane this past week 😊

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SABDELLAHI · 03/03/2024 19:51

@Tiredmummy101

hi hope you’re well. Just saw your post . Wanted to see if your little boy sleep has improved; what did you change to help him sleep?

Im going through this with my 20 month old. Wakes up hysterically at 1am and doesn’t settle until 6am. He started to hate his sleeping bag aswell. We’ve also tried cry it out method but he ended up vomiting and won’t stop crying . It’s absolutely exhausting. He also doesn’t cosleep with us refuses to sleep in mum and dad’s bed.

Original poster

Tiredmummy101 · 03/03/2024 22:02

SABDELLAHI · 03/03/2024 19:51

@Tiredmummy101

hi hope you’re well. Just saw your post . Wanted to see if your little boy sleep has improved; what did you change to help him sleep?

Im going through this with my 20 month old. Wakes up hysterically at 1am and doesn’t settle until 6am. He started to hate his sleeping bag aswell. We’ve also tried cry it out method but he ended up vomiting and won’t stop crying . It’s absolutely exhausting. He also doesn’t cosleep with us refuses to sleep in mum and dad’s bed.

Hi I’m sorry you are going through this. It was tough for us.

My boy is 29 months now but he still doesn’t sleep Through the night, we switched him to a duvet and pillow which has helped but the only thing that is working for us now is that he will co-sleep with my husband. I have found that extending his last wake window to 6 hours makes him sleep longer before waking, and he goes straight back to sleep when co-sleeping. You may need to pop a mattress on his floor and see if he will sleep there with you.

So sorry I can’t be anymore help.

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