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11m old wakes up every hour screaming for me

8 replies

kalicia · 24/05/2023 22:24

My 11m old is getting probably the bare minimum of sleep she should be having. She is an awful sleeper, we was co sleeping to make her sleep a bit longer but I hated it as it meant when it was her bedtime, I had to go to bed too because she wakes every 45mins-1hour so getting any ‘me’ time is impossible. She also will only nap for the length of a sleep cycle, 45mins. I broke down to the health visitor the other week about her sleep and she recommended cutting her nap down to one so she’s more tired in the evening and will hopefully sleep for longer. So I have been doing that and it was working ok, not great. I went back to putting my lo in her own room and she would sleep for a good 3-4hours before waking up and inevitably crying for me. However the past 3 nights she is back waking every 45mins-hour, screaming and getting herself in a state. I try so hard to keep her in her own room, going in every time she wakes up trying to resettle but I get so exhausted by around 1/2am I bring her into my bed. Where she will sleep till around 6am! Which means she is going all day with 1 45min nap and then when it comes to bed time waking up every hour until she’s brought into my room. I find that she is becoming very grumpy and irritable in the day. But when she does have 2 naps she’s the same..

I feel at a huge loss. She’s been the worst sleeper since the 4m sleep regression and I feel like I have tried everything. I sleep trained her at 6m using Ferber and that worked for about a month and a half, then she got separation anxiety and it’s carried on like this all the way till now. I really did hope by the time she’s 1 it will all get better but I cry because it just seems to be getting worse. I get no time to myself, I am constantly going up to resettle and in between doing that I am trying to tidy up the house. I have no energy, huge dark circles under my eyes, I feel I am barely functioning.

Dad is around but we do not live together. My mum helps as much as she can but my lo is so full on in the day even she struggles to cope.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 25/05/2023 06:11

It's only been three days so I would put this down to a leap, continue to co-sleep then try again. My toddler only started linking sleep cycles at night a few months ago, maybe 17/8 months. It is hard!

Health visitors often have no up to date evidence based training in sleep so I would take their advice on this with a pinch of salt. Are you breastfeeding? If so I would look to people like Kathryn Stagg and Olivia Hinge for advice on sleep instead. One nap at 11 months old for an over tired baby seems like bad advice to me. My toddler needs two/two and a half hours a day and is much older than your baby.

purplejeanie · 25/05/2023 06:23

Can you sleep train again? Assuming you don't want to co sleep? You'd have to be consistent about it if it's going to work and it should take a few difficult days but then she should be sleeping through. Worth it for you and for her.

BHRK · 25/05/2023 06:31

Don’t sleep train her, it’s just stressful for you both. Is she teething/hungry? at this age I wound persevere with putting her in her cot for sleep each night and then bring her in with you at any point after say 2am. But start the nights off in her own cot in her own room.
it does get easier. She is still tiny and she will get better at sleeping.
it’s normal for babies to wake up and you’re not doing anything wrong. In another six months she will be sleeping better. I know it’s hard and exhausting. Try and catch up when you can with your mum’s help

TEP21 · 25/05/2023 06:54

Hi Kalicia, so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. Just to let you know I sent a message in regards to the sleep discussion if that would help? Thanks, Lynsey

purplejeanie · 25/05/2023 09:55

BHRK · 25/05/2023 06:31

Don’t sleep train her, it’s just stressful for you both. Is she teething/hungry? at this age I wound persevere with putting her in her cot for sleep each night and then bring her in with you at any point after say 2am. But start the nights off in her own cot in her own room.
it does get easier. She is still tiny and she will get better at sleeping.
it’s normal for babies to wake up and you’re not doing anything wrong. In another six months she will be sleeping better. I know it’s hard and exhausting. Try and catch up when you can with your mum’s help

It's really not normal at this stage. Baby and mum don't need to suffer with this level of sleep deprivation.

TheShellBeach · 25/05/2023 10:22

The Ferber sleep training book saved my life and my sanity.
It only took three nights for DD to sleep through.

Sbar · 18/02/2024 10:33

Hello @kalicia

Did this get any better for you in the end?

In a very similar boat and feel like I can barely form a thought let alone a sentence at the moment! Please tell me it gets better 😅

kalicia · 18/02/2024 15:31

Sbar · 18/02/2024 10:33

Hello @kalicia

Did this get any better for you in the end?

In a very similar boat and feel like I can barely form a thought let alone a sentence at the moment! Please tell me it gets better 😅

Yes!!!! I don’t know if cutting the nap thing work but the night she turned 1 she just randomly decided to sleep through the whole night and has ever since. It’s like something switched in her brain lol. Hang in there, I didn’t think there would be light at the end of the tunnel but there was

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