Confused New Mum - bedtime sleep

[BDM]

I am getting more and more confused by bedtime routines with my 5 month ds. We are following the SIDS guidelines and ensuring he is sleeping and napping in the room with us. But bedtime is early and so we have him downstairs with us which isn’t ideal as we are cooking, eating etc.
I hate having to move him but as we move upstairs for bed it inevitably wakes him up.

What do other parents do? As his sleep
isn’t great I’ve started looking at sleep
advice and mostly everyone recommends putting the baby down in their bed for the night. I‘m so confused as they also mention them being in the room with you until 6 months. Any thoughts welcome.

@BDM no clue I’m afraid but following to see replies

my boy is 4 months and we are doing the same except my boy is so nosey he has naps downstairs and won’t go to proper sleep til we go to bed altogether. We all go about 9pm anyway but I know he would get so much better sleep undisturbed upstairs alone.

I didn’t know what to do but thought I would just have to keep going like this until 6 months

xx

At 5 months there’s no way mine would have slept downstairs with lights and noise, or in the room with us, so they were upstairs in their own rooms. We did as you described but only for about the first 4 months. After that it was no longer working for anyone and the sids risk is a lot lower so we felt comfortable moving them. Also, they’d out grown the pram bassinet, moses basket and could roll over so there really wasn’t anywhere for them to sleep downstairs that wouldn’t mean transferring and waking them because they’d both stopped feeding overnight. Youngest had an owlet sock monitor but that wasn’t around with the eldest.

I just put mine in a bedroom at night. My son would not sleep during the day apart from in the buggy or attached to me. My daughter is a light sleeper. There's no way either of them would have slept with us cooking etc.

I felt ok going against the sids advice. I needed some me time at night for my sanctity and the risk is exceptionally low, especially after 6 months. But that's me and you may feel different.

I don’t know anyone who followed the ‘with you till 6 months’ advice. Like you say, it’s just not practical.

Thanks all this is so useful. It’s so bright downstairs and I hate having to move him and wake him unnecessarily! This is so useful to know what others do/have done

We have 3 under 2 and they all slept in there own cots from 4 months in there own rooms first 2 nights a bit of crying and never looked back since..none of ours would settle if they weren't in bed

I put mine in the cot at around 7pm and just had the baby monitor on. Would creep in and check on them now and then.

Until mine were a couple of months I kept them in the living room with me, did the last feed and them put them to bed. Then once they started sleeping through I put them to bed at around 8pm.

We have a higher risk of SIDS with our low-weight, preterm baby. Even at 8 months (6 months corrected age), we feel happier staying with him, so we tend to do the bedtime routine and spend the rest of the evening upstairs. He's not easily disturbed so we potter about without worry of waking him. We'll start putting the monitor on soon, but up to now we've preferred to err on the side of caution.

Nice to know it’s not just me x

@BDM can I ask what you do during the day too? I’m struggling… at the minute he won’t fall asleep himself and I used to sit and put dummy in and stroke his face and he fell asleep. Now it’s screaming and the only thing that works is walking around then I can sit down but he only naps for 45 mins a time.

Some people say put them in a dark room during the day which I could do but some say don’t. Again it would mean either sitting in the dark bedroom for each nap with him or carry on as we are as we don’t have another cot downstairs.

Mine stopped being willing to sleep in the living room in the evenings sometime around 3-4 months and we started putting her down in her cot in our room (next door to the living room as it’s a flat) and using the monitor. Initially we would go to bed shortly after so she was only by herself for a short time and then her bed time got a bit earlier and ours a bit later so it got a bit longer. I feel that hour or so in the room alone didn’t significantly increase the SIDS risk.