13 month old never slept through

[Holzey]

Looking for advice from other tired mums.
my DS has never slept through the night, the most he’s ever gone is 5 hours. It feels like we have tried every method other than cry it out (which I refuse to do) and nothing seems to work.
In the day time he is a delight. He eats well, naps well, plays well. It’s just nighttime. We have always used a clear routine bath, teeth, story, bed. We always have gentle music playing in the background which he associates with sleepy time.
Recently it seems to be getting worse.
He is breast fed and we have been working hard to break his association with breast being used to fall asleep. Dad has been going in most of the night wakes and patting him off. Which was making an improvement until recently.
Even if he was partially asleep from being rocked or fed when we put him down he would roll over, get comfortable and go off to sleep for a couple of hours.
Now every time he wakes up he will scream bloody murder until he is either fed (by me) or rocked to sleep (by dad). Even if he seems to be fast asleep in our arms as soon as he’s put down he will sit up and start screaming again.
It’s like he no longer wants to settle in his crib. This can go on for up to two hours until he eventually settles for an hour maybe two before starting again. He doesn’t seem to be in any pain because calpol makes no difference. I’ve wondered whether it could be his stomach but it just feels like I’m grasping at straws.
I really don’t know what else to do.

I’m so sorry I have no advice but wanted to say my DCs were all like this at 13 months too. I was desperate and the sleep deprivation was so rough. I feel for you.

I recall my health visitor suggesting I drop all night /evening breastfeeds and try to give them more solid food to eat at tea time. I tried with DC 2 and it worked eventually (I was pregnant and working FT and I just had to sort out my sleep).

With DC3 I ended up co-sleeping and still breast feeding until they were 3 and it got us through the sleep deprivation. It was the only strategy I could cope with and I have no regrets. Wish I’d done the same with the older DCs.

Sorry OP I've got no advice .. just feel like I could have almost written this myself! Currently laying with my 10mo DS on my chest after waking for the third time tonight for no apparent reason whatsoever (: hoping to share in any tips this thread might get!
Good luck OP!

Try a mattress on the floor and a stair gate across the door to keep him safe. That way you can just lie next to him and read a book if he wakes. Montessori bedrooms are brilliant.

They woke and want attention and they know crying gets them attention dad cuddles, mum cuddles. It's not difficult for 3 or 4 nights to let them cry and not actually give them attentionother than a quick check there ok then it all stops and they sleep. We have 3 under 2s and they all slept thru the night in there own cots from 6months as did our older children. Babies are smart cry and mummy comes. So basically your encouraging the behaviour not discouraging it.

Is co-sleeping an option? Worked wonders for me with DS but I realise it isn't for everyone

Unfortunately that sounds completely normal. I think it's pretty common to see a regression around this age. Mine is 12.5 months and has been all over the place with naps and night sleep for a week! Other than that, some kids are naturally just better sleepers than others. I didn't sleep through until I was 4, a friend's kid was 5 when he first slept through and another friend is still up sometimes 3 times a night with her 4yo. Mine hasn't slept longer than 4 hours in one stretch since August - he was a superstar sleeper until the 4 month regression and absolutely dreadful since!

Floor beds are wonderful, we set ours up when DS was 8 months, and settling him there is so much easier physically than crib transfers, and on particularly difficult night it fits one of us there to sleep next to him.

Update
So a couple of nights after this post we suddenly had a breakthrough and he slept the majority of the night waking only once round 10pm. We’ve had the occasional rough night since but only when he’s been poorly or his daytime naps had been disrupted. Most of the time now he will settle himself back off if he wakes crying.

I guess they all just learn to do it in their own time. We hadn’t done anything we wouldn’t normally do it just seem to finally click. I suppose it is a skill like anything else and they all learn at their own pace.

Thank you to everyone who gave helpful advice it is very much appreciated ❤️

Lucky you! I was about to comment that my teen was like this (didn't sleep consistently through the night until age 4). Still isn't the best sleeper and has only now shown fatigue with onset of teen hormones!

If I had to do this again, I'd get rid of a bed frame and just have mattresses on the floor and we'd all sleep together, it would have solved years of pain!