20 month old awake for hours at night, nothing works

[Tiredmummy101]

Hi everyone I desperately need some help

my son is 20 months asndhas always been an awful sleeper. We are going through a really rough patch where he is waking at 9-9.30pm every night and staying awake screaming for hours. Last night it’s was 9.30 until 2am 🙈

The problem we are having is that nothing settles him, we try giving him milk, he doesn’t let you touch or hold him at all, if you go into his room at all it makes him scream worse. I’ve tried leaving him to cry it out out of desperation but he’s is stubborn so doesn’t work. I have also tried controlled crying but going in and out of his room makes him worse. We have also tried taking him into bed with use but he just hates it, starts kicking and punching to get away. We are
so confused and now have no idea what to do.

Has anyone else’s little one been like this and how did you help them?

p.s he has always been like this, really independent and never liked any help, this is a long-standing issue we are having with helping him sleep

Just my thoughts... might not be relevant to your situation at all.

I'm autistic. I remember being like that as a child. We don't need much sleep, and in the dark all the thoughts run together and swirl around in your head, like clothes in a washing machine. They don't make sense but they annoy. The strongest ones force their way forward - usually scary thoughts.

Put a small tent in your room, with a bed made on a mattress on the floor. Give him a safe space and privacy. Have a lock on your door so he can't go wandering. Have some toys and books nearby. Or set up a bed and some toys in a playpen next to your bed. Have a small nightlight.

You've probably tried soothing sounds - rain sounds or the sounds of the sea can help. Gives something to focus on without giving much stimulation.

Try to be really calm about it all. Your baby is/might be confused, afraid and angry. You can best help by acknowledging that and acting as if you know your solutions will work. Tell him, and remind him, that you need to sleep when it's dark.

Find out about teaching a baby to read. It all gets a lot easier when they can read.

One of the best things my mum did for me was to allow me to have really heavy bedding. There was a fashion for weighted blankets a couple of years ago - I don't like those, but a good duvet or two can help.

Thank you so much, that is all really helpful. I have just ordered him a duvet to try as he does quite like being under a blanket during the day when he gets overwhelmed 👍

Does anyone else’s little one do this? Honestly just feel like my boy is the only one that fights so much 🙈