Staying with your lo until they are a sleep

[lofty66]

Are there any mums or dads out there whom when their lo's where young (say 2) you had to stay with them until they were asleep but now they are older they go asleep alone?

If yes - did you have to 'train' them to sleep alone or did they just naturally accepted they could?

i stay with ds, he is nearly 3. i sit in a chair and drink wine with a book. it does piss me off a bit, esp like last night he didn't fall asleep till 9.10 and i hadn't had any dinner yet.

but a year ago he had to be bounced in a chair for about an hour and then transferred to bed, or else bf to sleep and dh and i were ready to kill each other over whose turn it was. so really we are making super progress.

these days it takes just over an hour from bath to sleep, used to take up to three. i am assuming improvement will continue and when he drops nap he'll be a lot sleepier. at worst he'll learn to read at some stage i hope!

We had to sit with DS to fall asleep when he was very little. But one night when he was about 2 and had finally moved into his own room, I just kissed him goodnight after his story and turned out the light. He rolled over and went to sleep. And has every night since then for 2 years.

It is the most liberating feeling when it finally happens!

DTDs were about 2 1/2-3.

We used to stay with them reading until they were asleep (thank God for Sky+)

We replaced our voice with a CD player. We still read 1 story and then the man/lady on the CD carrys on reading.

Thye still have a CD aged nearly 7, but they can do without it when we are away/the player is broken so they are not too dependant.

A friend of mine had to sit there for hours with her 2 year old until she told him one night that she was going to the loo and would be back in a few minutes. When she came back he was asleep. So she did it every night after that and after a few nights he stopped needing her.

I suppose the conclusion could be drawn that her presence was keeping him awake rather than helping him to sleep ...

"A friend of mine had to sit there for hours with her 2 year old until she told him one night that she was going to the loo and would be back in a few minutes" I do this - it doesn;t always work but if DS is sufficiently tired it does. I go for a veeeery long wee (AKA Mumsnet!)

One friend of mine still does it, her DS is in reception and 'cannot' get back to sleep on his own if he wakes in the middle of the night..

Some tough love needed there (imho)before said friend goes insane form lack of free evening time and sleep.

No cry sleep solution book for toddelr is quite good with this problme (I think the 'no cry' bit is that you the parent deal with bedtime wihtout crying)

Brings back memories as I am currently doing this with an ill 12 year old!

I used to do it with DS as a baby but he did grow out of it - I used to say "I've got to go and check on DD / get something for DH etc" and will be back in 5 mins. Would pop back and then make another excuse with a longer time. He knew I would come back and used to drop off between visits.

DD (2.5) used to need to be rocked to sleep before being transferred to bed up until a couple of months ago. I used to think that she would never be able to go to sleep on her own (and she was also waking up at night a lot).

One evening I went down to get her a drink (had transferred her awake) and she fell asleep when I was getting it. Now she gets into her bed before I read stories and just goes to sleep. Night waking is a lot less now as well.

I thought there would need to be some training needed, but luckily, there wasn't.

i sit with my dc till tow of them are asleep.

they all sleep in same room, and eldest (4) goes to sleep with or without me, next one (3) likes/needs me to hold his hand while he goes to sleep (usually takes about 10-15 mins). the youngest (2) will usually get up and come downstairs if i leave the room before he is asleep, but he doesnt take long to go to sleep either so i dont mind.

they wont always want/need it. it doesnt take v long anymore (originally had to spend up to an hour in there) and it does mean they get to sleep happy and sleep all night.

I stay with my dd, 2.9 until she falls asleep, this usually takes 10-20 minutes she goes to bed we read a story lights out.
dh does this too when he settles her

I guess there will be a next stage soon when we settle her and leave the room, not too worried about it atm

Lofty, yes, we used to stay with ds until he was around two and a half. He wanted us to hold his hand until he was asleep, and it would take ages... (can't remember now, probably 45 mins). One night dh told him that he would have sat by his door while he was falling asleep. It worked, but for months we had to promise we would have sat by his door.

ooh sfx I have your book - thanks it has been good and I have recommended it to a friend.

no cry sleep solution is in my view one of the few sleep books suitable for adopted children (who often have serious sleep issues brought on by anxiety)

2 (and especially 3) is old enough to understand when you explain to him that he is now a big boy, and does not need mommy to fall asleep like a baby. Teddy is there to hug him in his sleep. Mommy and daddy love him very much etc etc.

Expect some tantrumming the first two nights, but be consistent, say the same things, and he will soon understand.

DD has been sleeping on her own since 4 months old, but most recently we used this method for when we are about to go out and she wants to (1) continue to watch tv, and (2) take her doggy with her. I said to her "tv is finished. baby doggy will sleep. DD will go out and play". She screamed the first day until she was in the car. Second day she still wasn't happy but didn't tantrum. Third day, when I said we are going, she said "tele finished, bebe wawa shh shh, DD out", turned tv off herself , put her doggy down, and came running and laughing

Just to show you that you CAN change your kid's habits. It is a good thing to be firm with your child to give him the good habits, imho.

that is nice QC no hurry