Night feeds and sleep

[Supermathsdoc]

I wanted to ask how people do their night breast feeds.

My daughter is 3.5m EBF. She goes down at 8pm and then wakes at 0100 clearly hungry. I had read that I should do nights feeds in the dark with minimal stimulation. So I’ve been doing them
laying down without even a night light on.

Recently I’ve noticed she will then fall back to sleep after 10 mins (her daytime feeds are always at least 30) and I don’t think she is full. She then wakes after 2 hours at around 0330 has another feed which she takes even less of and then hourly (5,6) after that taking less each time before falling to sleep again.

I should also mention that when I then place her in the next to me, she wakes up and I shush her back to sleep. I have no issue with ‘feeding to sleep’ as such it’s just that she always wakes up as soon as I move her.

She naps well in the day (1hr, 2hr, 2hr, 30 mins) and falls asleep with shush patting for naps and bedtime.

Do people try to give a big feed at the first wake by keeping their baby a bit more awake? Or do you let them stay quite drowsy? Does taking a bigger first feed help with subsequent wakes at all? Or is she likely to wake regardless?

Thanks in advance for any advice on this

For hunger, I would always feed, wind, when the winding wakes them up a bit feed again, nappy change, feed other side, wind, etc. especially if she can then be shushed back down.

But tbh you’re around the corner from a sleep regression and those wakes sound normal at her age - there’s less sleep pressure after 4am so those final hours of the night are always shorter than the first chunk, in my experience.

If you’re getting just enough sleep, keep doing what you’re doing and put her down awake if you can and it sounds like you can! Things will change constantly over this first year so try not to overthink it.

I slept topless with DC so it was easier for them to feed without waking me up. A sidelying feeding position should work. Just make sure you sleep safely - ie keep your baby on top of any bed clothes.

DS used to sleep at 9, feed as much as he needed to (usually once every hour or two from 5pm), then 4-6am was (and still is) a major feeding time for him as that’s when my production has always been highest. He’s 3 now and calls it volcano time lol. He then wakes fully by 7. But he has never been a huge day feeder as I trained him to prefer night feeds as I had to return to work.

With eldest DD she fed every single hour during the day and refused to feed from 9-4am. Then at 4am she’d have her first feed and just stay awake. She has ASD and I think that manifested as her being an extremely clingy baby. I had to wear her in the sling a lot to keep her happy.

Thanks so much for these replies.

@bussteward Would you wind also for breast feeding? I think that might be where I’m going wrong as you’re right that would rouse her. She also kicks her legs up in the air towards the morning and I’ve wondered if that might be wind because I don’t burp her after night feeds.

Yes I’m managing ok with these wakes because I go to bed at 9 so get 3 continuous hours during her 4 hour stretch. It’s not really that I thought it wasn’t normal, I just wasn’t sure whether sleepy night feed vs more awake bigger night feed was better, or even if it matters?

@Wendy did you wake yours fully for feeds or do them when they were quite sleepy? I do a combo of side lying and just plonking her on top of me, but I stay awake and then put her back in the next to me.

I guess I’ve thought she’s not getting enough because the night feeds are so much shorter than the day ones, but maybe there’s a difference in my supply?

Babies wake for lots of reasons in the night, sometimes hunger, sometimes seeking safety and connection with you, sometimes just because it’s normal to wake up. Breastfeeding is food but it’s also meeting those other needs for safety and settling. Breastmilk at night also contains hormones that help them sleep. Little feeds or big feeds at night are both fine, maybe they just need a quick drink rather than a whole meal. Breastmilk isn’t just big meals, it’s snacks, drinks, or sometimes just comfort. Your baby knows what they need and I really wouldn’t worry about it, just follow their lead. If they want feeding, feed them, if they stop or go back to sleep, all good.

I mostly just bedshare as it makes night feeds easier, I go back to sleep whilst feeding and then she feeds to sleep too. My son sometimes needed winding with night feeds, but my DD doesn’t at the moment so I don’t worry about it. I’d follow baby’s lead here too 🙂

General guidance for bedsharing is to keep any bedding/duvets low on your body and away from baby, tucked around you. On top of a duvet isn’t advised as it can cause overheating and is too soft.

@Supermathsdoc Yes, I wind for breastfeeding! All day long. Plus lots of bicycle legs – DS is very farty. It can build up and up and if you’re doing night feeds without winding as well, by 4am their little tummies are working overtime and it contributes to the unsettledness in the last few hours of sleep.

The Sleep Mums podcast/on instagram has lots about the need to wind even breastfed babies and to do it for longer than you’d think.

The other school of thought is that she’s only taking short feeds later in the night to suck back to sleep, rather than being hungry, and you could try not feeding her and just shushing and patting back to sleep? Only feeding if that doesn’t work. And focus on the big 1am feed as the night feed. Different babies night wean at different times.

@bussteward as baby is only 3.5 months I don’t think night weaning is something to think about for a very long while yet! I also don’t see the point in making more work for oneself with lengthy shushing when you can just feed, but that’s just me

@BuffaloCauliflower I’m not suggesting night weaning at 3.5m more thinking ahead to four-month regression and having every trick up your sleeve to ensure you’re not feeding back to sleep on an hourly basis for months, then needing to brute force night wean for survival. Not every baby will do the “just latches on while cosleeping” thing and not everyone can sleep while their baby does that, so thinking ahead to the next few months and figuring out how to stretch night feeds out isn’t a bad thing, imo.

I did the cosleep attachment feed on demand night feed hourly stuff the first time round and plan to do things differently this time; I don’t think it’s a bad thing to do the shushing as that’s ultimately easier to wean from than feed to sleep.

@BuffaloCauliflower Thanks, I hadn’t considered that she might need snacks overnight! That’s helpful, I’m happy to follow her lead it’s just that when she wakes at 1am atm I try to keep her sleepy and I’m wondered whether I shouldn’t be doing that? Do you recommend lights on, switching between breasts etc or a more ‘night feed’ specific approach with darkness, being careful not to rouse etc or does it not matter either way?

@Supermathsdoc do you change her nappy at the 1am feed? I would change her nappy first so she’s a bit more awake and then feed to sleep. This is what we do. I have a night light that I turn on low for the nappy change then dim it right down again when feeding. That way DD is just awake enough to take a bit of a longer feed but not too awake if you know what I mean.

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@PinkFizz1 Thanks so much for your reply, I don’t change it unless it’s dirty rather than wet but that sounds like another good way to wake her slightly more.

As feedback in case someone finds this thread in years to come, I tried following everyone’s tips and woke her slightly more (burping, nappy change) for her 1am wake, she fed for longer and more vigorously then woke again at 3am at which point I settled her without a feed and she went back to sleep and woke at 5am hungry, so I fed her at that point and she slept until 7am, so I consider this a major success!

Thank you!

@Supermathsdoc brilliant. Long May it continue!