Seriously need help with my 10 month old.. in sleep hell

[Liverpoolgirl50]

Hi, I’m hoping someone can help as I’m totally at a loss. Our 10 month old slept like a dream until about 8 months old, when suddenly she was waking up every hour in the night. We decided to sleep train (controversial I know), but after 8 days she was getting progressively more upset at bedtime (despite it making her sleep through) so we gave up.

Bedtime is now a total shambles, she will be up around 3-4 times for a simple dummy back in resettle, but at about 1am will be awake and raring to play for 2 hours.. nothing gets her back to sleep apart from waiting it out. She then wakes at 5:30 absolutely exhausted.

She’s a chronic 30 minute napper so her schedule is -
5:30-6 wake
8:30-9 nap
12-12:30 nap
3:30-4 nap
7 bedtime

However on nursery days, she will do 2x 20 mins total - she goes twice a week.

I have tried everything to get her to do longer naps and it doesn’t work - I’ve tried dropping her to 2x 30 mins but that just causes all Mary hell at bedtime.

Really at a loss.. she’s permanently overtired and grumpy, myself and my husband are getting very little sleep and trying to work full time. Wondering if a sleep consultant may be worth the money? Any help welcome :(

Mine are older now but I remember that torture well. You all sound exhausted.

I think you were right to try controlled crying. What did that look like for you? You have to be strict and keep going.

I would do anything I could to make her have two decent naps per day. Stop the power naps. Where does she sleep for these? Will she sleep longer in the car or the pram? Try and get to 2x1hr or 40min naps per day and it will absolutely help with the nighttime sleep.

I used to spend HOURS driving up the motorway to get my eldest to have a decent nap. I had a spreadsheet of his night waking to see what tweaks I could make to improve things. His PB was waking 13x one night. I was broken.

The two things that helped were 2 decent naps in the day and then CC At night.

He sleeps like a log now. There is hope!!!

@UsernameNotAvailableNow thank you so much - I do feel totally in the depths of it at the moment, trying to juggle being back at work and using my brain on next to no sleep is nothing short of a nightmare!

The controlled crying worked in the sense that she was self settling in the night so the wake ups stopped, but putting her down was getting worse - she was crying for longer each night and we did it for 8 nights. By the end she was so distressed I thought the neighbours were going to report me! So I stopped, thinking she wasn’t quite ready, and we went back to patting her to sleep.

The only way she will do long naps is on me - which I can do on weekends etc but isn’t much use in the week. The pram sometimes works.. I never know if it’s a case of persevering and she will eventually start doing 2 long naps or whether she’s becoming more and more overtired.

I never thought my life would revolve around sleep so much 😂

Oh it does! How long did you leave her to cry for when you did the CC? I think the first night took 2 hours for him to settle but it got better each night. My husband had to do it as I just wanted to go in, timing the intervals in which he would go in and soothe. I was also going insane from lack of sleep so it neede to happen.

Just clocked your username. I spent HOURS on the M62 driving to ikea as he used to wake up at traffic lights, and ikea was a clear run. Also hours walking in the pram.arpund Sefton Park, and hours crying in the big tesco car park.

My LOs naps are very temperamental but the fact that you’re having issues at bedtime definitely points to daytime sleep being the culprit if she’s learnt to self settle during night waking.

For my LO to take decent naps she has to be in the pram and on a continuous terrain - no stopping at traffic lights during sleep transitions or people talking. I look mad darting off on family walks to make sure it’s quiet and on a straight path 🤣. Sometimes if she wakes I don’t lift up the cover and let her cry for a few minutes and she does tend to go back off.

I haven’t attempted it yet but you could try sleep training for naps in the cot? Not nice of course but it has worked for friends of mine and their babies now do 2x long naps a day every day.