Two year old plays up at bedtime for mum but an angel for dad HELP!

[snickersicecreampls]

My 27m old can sometimes take me 2 hours to get him to sleep.

His dad can get him down in about 10 mins.

We do nothing differently - wind down time no sugar or tv late in the day, an hours nap and generally up by 1pm, upstairs at 7 after a bath for a cup of milk about 3 stories and then cuddles in his bed.

For dad he just falls asleep. For me he seems totally hyper. Won't lie down, talking, prodding me, getting out of bed, giggling, playing... I've tried everything and the only thing that works is me eventually really losing my temper and leaving his bedroom, holding the door handle for a few mins so he can't escape while he cries for me to come back in. He will then give in and lie quietly and eventually fall asleep but can still take another hour til I can l leave the room.

I hate ending a lovely day with tears and shouting and I just need to know how to achieve what his dad can.

I'm due his sibling in 3 weeks and my patience is wearing very thin!

He's never self settled, we've always stayed with him til he asleep which is fine if it's his dad doing bedtime but for me it takes so long and I get no evening at all!

Anyone else got the same issue or any advice?

Anyone? Bump!

It'll be the nap 100%.

He probably wants to spend time with you more than his Dad and is able to hold off sleeping because he isn't that tired. Mine is 2 and 5 months, so a little older, and everything you describe is familiar apart from he'll also play up for dad too.

When he naps at nursery for maximum 45mins the earliest he will sleep is 9 but it was 10 on Thursday after a half hour nap finishing at 2:15.

We have some no nap days at home and he'll drop off in seconds around 6:45. Trouble is he can't manage it everyday, he'll usually fall asleep in the car around 10:30 the next day. And at nursery they don't staet getting them off til 1 so that's how bed time gets so late.

If this were us, it'd be dh doing every bedtime. We divide tasks according to our strengths!

But yes, I agree with pp above you need to drop the nap.

I agree that DH should do bedtime every night at least for a couple of months . Get him in a good routine .Sorted.

If you’re due in a few weeks then DH should take over all bedtimes now as you will be busy with your newborn.

When new baby is about 4 months DH needs to start changing the routine so DS starts self settling. He is old enough but I wouldn’t switch things up too much at the same time as introducing new baby. Give him a new months first

He probably wants to spend time with you more than his Dad

I mean, could you just not give credit to the father that he could just have a better technique than the mother? 🙄

Dad can do bedtime then, sorted. Dad will be doing most bedtimes to start with once baby is born anyway

This!! Why can no one on MN ever just say this,

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the advice. We were tempted for my DH to just do every bedtime but I almost feel like that means if I ever do need to do it, it'll be a huge issue... my DH would occasionally like to go out for an evening 🤣

Some days he doesn't nap and it doesn't seem to make any difference at all.

Also for what it's worth, I think my DH is just better at bedtime than me. He seems to have much more patience, perhaps my DS senses my impatience

If it makes you feel any better, my DC2 was exactly the same at that age. Loads of pissing about for me, virtually nothing for Dad. I am lazy. Daddy had to do bedtime whenever he was home. DC2 is now 3 and I have no problem getting him down. Honestly - I wouldn’t make life any more difficult for yourself than you have to or spend too much time working out why.

We had exactly the same (without the new baby).

The solution in the end was for me to do bedtime for a week straight, being absolutely sure to take no nonsense. It was a week of a lot of shouting (mostly the two year old, occasionally me), but she got the picture fairly quickly that mummy meant business at bedtime.

BTW, I now have a three year old and a newborn and I’ve been doing bedtime most nights - I felt it was important for the big one to see lots of me and realise she was still important, and it’s fairly easy to do it with a tiny one latched on.

Get dad to do it for a couple of weeks and break the cycle. Try again later.

I'd get Dad to do all bedtimes from now on if you are due so soon.
Once baby arrives, you are unlikely to be able to do DS bedtime for a while - newborn cluster feeding is almost always early evening. If he is used to Dad doing it, he won't feel that the baby is taking you away at bedtime.