Co sleeping older children

[NoodlePoodel]

I have a 2yo Dd, she was an amazing sleeper. For the last 8 months it's been hell, we live in a 3 story house and it's a nightmare.

She won't fall asleep unless I'm next to her in her bed, we have a make shift 2 cot mattresses on the floor. I have to sneak out when she falls asleep. No one else at all can put her to bed.

She wakes continuously, dummy but normally milk and she will scream unless there's milk overnight. I've tried everything but going to the bottom floor to go to the top floor is a nightmare because she screams continuously waking up our children.

From the third wake up (about 10pm!) I end up sleeping in there with her. I can't remember the last time I slept in my bed for more than 1h 30.

I've tried everything, water, gradual retreat, cry it out, chair method, rapid return, I return. She eats really well.

It's me, she wants me and me alone. Then the milk is a sleep crutch.

I'm at the stage now where its ok, it's ok I can co sleep and manage but here's my question:

If you co sleep with your toddler or older child how does your bedtime routine look? Do you go to bed when they do? How do you get 'you time?

Thanks!

Anyone?

Hey! I expected this to be about an 8/9 year old. It’s absolutely biologically and developmentally normal for your child to want to be near you at night. Especially an infant! If you’re getting enough sleep and are happy to continue then do!

If people are judging you tell them ‘we do whatever gets the most sleep’ - or to F off - whatever works for you 🤣

Worth a follow https://instagram.com/happycosleeper?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Thank you, I just wonder about bedtime routines

I went to bed with DD at that age. I listened to audiobooks/podcasts on headphones then when she fell asleep switched to my kindle or watched TV on a tablet. I was a single parent though and the more sleep I got the better, I always regretted it the next morning if I stayed up too late as I'd be shattered and less patient. I'd imagine it's a lot more challenging if you have other children or a partner.

My DD stopped Co sleeping when she was much, much older than yours. She was able to express that she like cuddling up to me as I was warm and took up the space as sleeping in her own bed it was too big. I ordered one of those big pregnancy 'U' body pillows that day and DD has happily slept with it since the day it arrived.

This!

I always sleep with mine (2) from first wake up, sometimes they sleep through, sometimes they're up before I go to bed. No way would I sleep on a floor when they can come into my bed. Luckily I now can extract myself from a cuddle and slide out if it is an earlier wake.

Maybe a little reset where you have earphones in with a podcast, or can read on your phone. So you're ready for bed early and not stressing out trying to go back and forth. Might take all the stress out of it for you both.

Saying all that could there be anything medical at play like low iron, allergies? As it does sound a lot to have come on 8 months ago and not improved

At that age my youngest was falling asleep on the sofa and then co sleeping in my bed after being carried up.

I had a few sleep troubles with dc1 although to be fair they were fairly solid and went to sleep in the evenings from an early age. I had epic battles fueled by depression and other factors with dc2 who basically never slept. I screamed and cried and it was torture.

With dc3 I had learned, finally, to go with the flow and my life was much, much better for it. They didn't like going to sleep alone? Didn't matter, we did bath and stories and then youngest came back down with me after saying goodnight to the others. I would pop them on the sofa and say I was going for a wee and would come back, or I was going to do the washing up and come back and so on. They would happily fall asleep on the sofa while i pottered around then we co slept the rest of the night. Everybody was rested and I still had a break in the evening.

Eventually, when they were ready, they started going to sleep in their own bed (but still got in to mine overnight when they woke) I think it was the Christmas before they turned 4 and they decided they needed to be in bed for father Christmas.

DC2 is older, 3.5, so I can tell him that he has to start the night in his own bed but if he wakes up he can come straight in to my bed. That works for us and he doesn’t always wake up anymore.

I love cosleeping though. Miss him when he’s not in bed with us. My husband isn’t so keen!

I'm currently in bed with my 8yo asleep next to me if anyone has any tips? She just likes to be close to me. We have some success occasionally but it never lasts. I'm not over worried about it but I would like my bed back!

Meh
Currently have 10 year old DD in my bed. I'll miss it in a few years so try and treasure the nights she joins me
At 2 she co slept every night.

I paid my eldest dc to sleep alone! Every night she stayed in her own bed she got some small toy and eventually it became normal. She was 6 I think.
I also have a 5 year old. I sit with him til he falls asleep then go to bed in there. He has become very restless lately so often wakes before I go to bed. Not sure how we'll stop cosleeping with him but my older child is fine now. I sit with them til they sleep then go down, but the elder one now I tell her to go to sleep.

Our dd nearly5 cosleeps with dh while cosleep with other dd nearly2.

Bedtime routine:
Bath, pyjamas, story, goodnight, then dh and I go downstairs to watch telly, have grownup dinner then come to bed when we like.

Dd1 slept with us until nearly 3, she just stopped coming in, dd2 persisted until she was 7, they do stop eventually

you need to break the umbilical cord at some point. put child in its own bed and dont pander to the crying. will soon learn

Thank you so much for all the advice