Using boob as a dummy

[betty1001]

So my 10month old used to have a dummy yet stopped around 5month old along with bottles. He refuses a bottle and a dummy now and can not get him to take either, we have finally started him to take water from an open cup so he is getting fluids from else we're ( still breast feeding).
My main issue is he is still waking around 5-10 times a night for my boob using it as a dummy and will scream the place down till I give in. Any suggestions? I would love to give him a dummy back to help but he will not have it, he won't take anything to comfort him with. He has never slept through once and won't let his dad settle him either and it's getting very hard work and I need sleep lol.
I have tried every dummy and been patient, I would love him not to have 1 but I can't seem to find any other answer?
Please help 🥰

I think it's fairly normal for them to want a BF at this age in the night but can appreciate that you want to cut it down a little.

Can I ask where he sleeps? If he's in your room have you tried him in his own room?

How many BFs does he get during the day?

Is the 9 months sleep regression still affecting him?

Completely normal. A dummy is just a fake boob, remember. It’s literally designed to make them think they’ve got a nipple in their mouth.

it’s hard, but it’s a phase and it will pass.

Night wean! It’s tough but should only take a few days of them being quite furious with you for it to work.

Dd was a pest in the night, she was exactly like your ds. I gave her a sippy cup of milk at bedtime while I read a story and popped her to bed. She obviously wanted to feed, but I rocked her/patted/sung etc and stayed with her (through the screaming so she knew I was there) until she fell asleep. Then every wake after that I’d cuddle and rock back to sleep.

First two nights were appalling, I probably got 3 hours sleep. Next 2 were better and it continued getting easier after that until she was waking less than once a night and I could pay/shush back to sleep.

What I will say is no matter how horrible it is don’t give in and bf to sleep! Because you put yourself straight back to the start again. They pick it up quickly but you’ve got to be the strong one. Good luck!

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto
Around 7month we put him in his own room and he was doing great, waking once or twice a night and letting his dad put him back to sleep, now he is currently back in our room as getting up 10times a night was getting me more tired.
He feeds quite a lot through the day and is such a good eater having 3 meals a day and snacks. I could say it could be his regression but it seems to be going on a long time, however I have read it can take upto 6 weeks
Thank you

@Ostryga

I did the Ferber method when I put him in his room when he was 7months and it worked a treat, 2mins crying and he was asleep but he will not do that anymore, he just cry's and cry's and cry's and when ur tired and need sleep it's so hard but I need todo it or it's going to get worse, it's finding the time todo it and not interrupt the whole house and a day with no plans, but thank you for your suggestion as I think this is the way I am going to have to go

Ok so it might be an idea to leave it until he's 12 months, seems like a long time but is just weeks away, then put him in his own room and do some gentle night weaning.

Are you able to add in any extra day feeds until then?

Night weaning isn't recommended when he's so little. I think you're just in a normal (but hard!) leap and need to take settling turns with your husband for a while.

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto
Thank you this makes me feel better, I am not prepared to go through it yet so if I can wake until he is 1 and get mentally prepared. Yes I will up my feeds and see if he can fill himself up more through the day which will hopefully help him sleep longer
Thank you

@Isthisexpected
Thank you for your comment, you are right and I need to just stick it out and keep telling myself it is going to get better ❤️

Do you feed him to sleep? I literally could have written this last week, and I've shifted his feeds to half an hour before bed and he's only woken once a night since! I still can't believe one slight change has made things so much easier for us.

5-10 times a night sounds very rough! We have gone through a spell with my DD around 10 months after sickness/teething/regression where she wanted a lot of feeds during the night after previously mostly needing only one feed around 3am. She was eating well and I knew it was mostly for comfort (nothing wrong with that) but it was taking its toll on me so I decided that realistically she didn’t really need a feed before 1am and then not again for at least 3 hours after the first feed. Any other wake up either DP or myself would comfort her and rock her back to sleep. She’d fuss and complain while she got used to the change but after 3-5 days she would wake less and was happy to be rocked back to sleep. Eventually we proceeded to comfort her in her cot instead outside of the feed. So worth deciding how often you think your baby needs a feed and comfort him in another way. Important to note that you try and stick to that where possible as DD (now 14m) has been sick the past week and there were lots of pick ups and feeds and we are kind of back where we started.

@Bobcat54
Yes we do bath, book ready for bed then feed and he falls asleep on the boob.

How did yours go to sleep? Did they settle without a feed right before bed?

8-10 months can be some of the hardest for sleep, article below might help
. I think my son slept attached to my boob most of that time. Bedsharing and trying to get as much sleep myself was the best way to cope. The problem with night weaning is it might help, or it might just make it even harder to settle them because removes the easiest comforter.

Also I don’t want to cause an argument about sleep training, but the Ferber clearly didn’t work because it it had you wouldn’t be having these issues now. Their sleep just changes a lot with development and the best we can do most of the time is just go along for the ride.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Falling asleep on the boob could be part of the problem; sounds like he hasn't learned to self-settle.

I did the bath, book and feed routine when my dd was a baby but I tried to make sure that she was awake when I put her down for her sleep.

When she was very small, she still looked for my boob several times a night whenever she woke up (we co-slept) but at 10 months she could settle herself.

I think it’s a lot about trying to reframe what’s happening. He’s not using your boob as a dummy, a dummy is a substitute for a boob and not the other way round. He’s seeking comfort from you and demonstrating healthy attachment behaviours, learning that he asks for comfort and he gets it. However I do understand you will be struggling and you have to balance everything. My first DD I just coslept and did everything I could to survive it. By 2nd I did gradual withdrawal sleep training at 9 months as I was not functioning well enough as a mum for either child due to sleep deprivation.

Basically we can have our ideals and then work back to what is doable and realistic for you. But if you can hang on, for me the 9-12month phase is the very hardest as the sleep deprivation is chronic by then and you want to poke your own eyes out. Sounds like you are doing great.

@cariadlet a 10 month cannot learn to self settle. Some babies will settle themselves naturally but it can’t be taught, when they’re ready to settle alone they will but many littles won’t develop that ability until 3 or 4