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It's been 2 months since my 3yo stopped using a dummy now he sleeps terribly, never been the same

9 replies

BeautyWithin6 · 07/05/2023 13:49

So a week after my DS third birthday we had the dummy fairy come. He asked for it lots the first couple of days, took a bit longer to sleep at night but overall by 5 days was OK. BUT maybe because he lost a comfort so he's awake to think a bit longer he asked to leave his door open, risky as I have a 22 month old who wakes sometimes but I had no choice. A week later he wanted a nightlight on so I put a red globe in his lamp, put it by his bed, and he was happy with that. Fast forward another 6 weeks and he's worsened!

He now wants his door wide open, bathroom sensor light on, and the kitchen light on. We said no to the kitchen light it's super bright and creeps around our doors and my DDs door. So instead he will wake between midnight and 4am pretty much every night and demand to sleep in the living room next to my DP who sleeps on the couch. Has anyone experienced such a decline like this before and if so did it improve and how??
It's really stressing me out! I'm loathing going to bed now.

About him:
Has a noise machine, blackout curtains, in a bed, has had a comforter toy since birth that he loves, naps sometimes at daycare but since going to a bed 6 months ago he no longer naps over the 3 days he's home unless in the car. He's a very bright little boy but is very sensitive at times and emotional, way more than DD. He has always been this way but is worse since the disruptive sleep.

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Tryingtogetitright · 07/05/2023 13:52

No advice I'm afraid but I feel your pain! My DD slept so well with her dummy. Since the dummy fairy came she takes hours to settle. Following for ideas! I hope someone has something that can help. For what it's worth, a gro-clock helps us a little and gives a glow. The broken nights are so hard.

Rainbowseeker · 07/05/2023 14:00

Some things that helped my DD - making sure she had a full tummy before bed, so letting her have a bowl of porridge or weetabix before brushing her teeth. She has a special comfort toy that she sleeps with, perhaps you could choose a comforter together? The final thing was making sure she was warm enough, as I found 4/5am wake ups were often when her room had dropped a bit colder and she'd kicked off her duvet. She still ends up in my bed once or twice a week and has the odd 5:30 start, but it's not as bad as it was!

Rainbowseeker · 07/05/2023 14:00

Just saw you already have a comforter - sorry for speed reading!

frenchnoodle · 07/05/2023 18:03

I've been in the same situation. My 7 year old is a terrible sleeper, when the doctor finally prescribed him melotonin the result was nightmares, which made things worse.
We are in a situation now where he needs a dummy to soothe himself to sleep. It's not ideal but it works. I would just give the dummy back in your situation.

BeautyWithin6 · 08/05/2023 13:56

@Tryingtogetitright it's horrible isn't it. He goes to sleep OK but it's the staying asleep that's my main issue. Tonight he wouldn't sleep on his bed and now has fallen asleep on the floor in his room. Daycare today said he played by himself most of the day 😓 so I'm actually a bit worried for him. I do have a gro clock, it used to be effective but now he ignores it since he's been afraid.

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BeautyWithin6 · 08/05/2023 13:58

@frenchnoodle I really feel like I'd be undoing 2 months of him being used to no dummy. It might confuse him and I don't think it would work now, he's since developed sleep issues that a dummy probably won't be enough for now

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FatAgain · 08/05/2023 14:00

Honestly - get him an anxiety blanket - they’re weighted blankets and extremely good for anxious people. Really helped my son - he’s not a good sleeper either x

minmooch · 08/05/2023 14:02

I'd give him his dummy back. In years to come you will look back and think 'he was only 3 why did I take his comforter away?'

He won't be using it at 18, he won't remember that you took it away and then gave it back, he'll stop using it when he's ready.

A good night sleep for you all is much more important.

BeautyWithin6 · 09/05/2023 06:37

@FatAgain I did look at that, I have put 2 doonas in his doona cover for weight. I'm just unsure as they are a bit pricey and I'm a sucker for buying things in the hope it works.. But yes something I could consider

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