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Sleep

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Original poster

How to ditch the dummy

16 replies

Catsarethebest85 · 03/05/2023 20:00

My 4.5 month old DD is 100% reliant on her dummy to get to sleep. This wasn’t a problem until recently when she wakes up every time it falls out of her mouth or at the end of each sleep cycle when she discovers it’s not there. Obviously at her age she’s incapable of finding it and replacing it herself so gets really panicky and fusses/cries until it’s replaced. She’s also started trying to get her hands into her mouth at the same time as the dummy which results in her pulling it out then it having to be replaced. This only happens at night time strangely enough and she goes down for naps quickly. At bedtime it’s a different story and it can take up to two hours for her to fall asleep. She’s then up every hour or so when she realises it’s gone.

Now I understand this behaviour is totally normal but I’m wondering whether to ditch the dummy and if so how to do it. We tried going cold turkey a couple of nights back and it was dire. She has no other way of being soothed to sleep as we’ve never had to pat/rock/stroke her to sleep before so that doesn’t help her. I can’t just leave her to try herself as she doesn’t have the capability yet and there’s no way I’m letting her cry it out.

Has anyone had any success with ditching the dummy at this age when they are so reliant on it?

OP posts:

cheepcheepchick · 03/05/2023 20:07

Cold Turkey is best imo.

You have to persevere with another method of soothing (rocking/patting/shushing). She'll cry whilst she gets used to it but eventually she will settle.

When putting her to sleep you could use a different settling technique whilst also giving her the dummy so she gets used to it before you take the dummy away. She'll still cry but at least she's slightly familiar with the other settling methods.

Now is actually best to take it away rather than waiting until they're older. I find once they can communicate it's much harder to take it away.
Good luck!

cheepcheepchick · 03/05/2023 20:09

should have mentioned that my DD didn't use a dummy but she was breastfed to sleep.

When we night weaned this is exactly what we did, except DH did the settling. If it was me she'd be even more hysterical as she knew I could just give her boob. She couldn't get it from her dad.

She was waking about 5-6 times a night when I did it.

Stripycatz · 03/05/2023 20:12

I did it with both of mine at 4 months and just went cold turkey.
Dc1 had one shit night where none of us got any sleep, then was fine.
Dc2 had two slightly disturbed nights, then was fine.
Good luck!

ilovemyspace · 03/05/2023 20:25

i left both of mine with dummies until they were older! 4.5 months is so young (in my opinion) to remove it if she's used to it.
Which is worse for you - having to keep replacing the dummy or listening to her crying without it?
You're the expert on your daughter and how to meet her needs x

Original poster

Catsarethebest85 · 03/05/2023 20:51

It’s becoming completely unmanageable imo. It’s got to the stage where she takes almost 3 hours to fall asleep at night no matter what time we put her down and this definitely isn’t helped by the constant dummy situation. I just don’t understand why it only happens at night! We have a well-established bedtime routine, white noise and dark room which we do for naps as well and it works a great during the day. I don’t understand why she fights it so much at night and why the dummy only seems to be an issue then too!

OP posts:

Danikm151 · 03/05/2023 20:53

Have you tried putting multiple dummies in the cot so she can find one( if she can put it back in herself)

DurdleLau · 03/05/2023 20:56

My son was very similar, huge reliance on the dummy, and if it fell out at night he would be crying. I didn’t have the heart to go cold Turkey as it helped him settle so well, he has other issues with his breathing and found things a struggle when he was that age so I didn’t want to take one thing that comforted him away. Eventually I took it away when he was able to understand it- at 3 years old- it went to the ‘dummy fairy who collects them for all the new babies’ and he never asked for it once after that. I think if you are going to take it away do it now rather than wait until they are older and even more reliant on it. Good luck!

Mummyof287 · 03/05/2023 21:30

Have you tried the tommee tippee ultra light silicone soothers? Apparently they stay in baby's mouth better.My baby didn't take a dummy but my friend said they were good.

OnNaturesCourse · 03/05/2023 22:08

Mine used to go to sleep with a dummy and one by each hand at this stage.

If you can take it away then props to you, we'd have never got any sleep!

When mine got older we started putting them down to sleep with the dummy then gently removing it right when they fell asleep. We found there was a sweet spot here when, if you got it away in time, they would still fall into a deep sleep but not be sucking for comfort. This removed the dependency for the sucking comfort for sleep within about a week.

TaraRhu · 03/05/2023 22:24

If you can stand it get rid of it now. The shuffling about looking for it stage doesn't last tgst long as eventually they can find it. But it is a killer! Then there's the times they have a cold and the dummy makes breathing harder so more restless nights. I I failed to get either of mine off it. I swore my. Daughter wouldn't have one after 6 months - she's 2 now. If you can't quit like me -put lots in the cot and get the glow in the dark ones.

For what's it's worth we got our son off it at 2.5 overnight. Just offered to buy him a toy he wanted and he went around the house collecting them. It was so easy. So if you do wait it will hopefully be less painful when you can reason with them!

Purple89 · 05/05/2023 16:33

I am in a very similar situation OP. It's so hard isn't it? What did you decide to do?
We are currently replacing it every hour, it is horrific. I know how horrid it will be removing it though.

Original poster

Catsarethebest85 · 05/05/2023 19:36

@Purple89 I think DD is going through the 4 month sleep regression atm. We’ve decided to stick with replacing the sunny as needed until she’s through and see what happens afterwards! She’s barely slept in a week now so seems cruel to remove the one thing that helps her sleep while she’s going through it.

OP posts:

Purple89 · 05/05/2023 20:23

Catsarethebest85 · 05/05/2023 19:36

That makes sense. Really hope you and your DD get some decent sleep soon xx

purplejeanie · 07/05/2023 07:40

We removed dummy during 4 month sleep regression because sleep was anyway so bad, thought it couldn't get worse. We were having hourly wake ups. Got rid of dummy and he cried for about 10 minutes-and then slept through (waking once for feed). Immediate and dramatic difference. They're so small so learn new habits super fast-scarier for you than for baby. Would highly recommend just doing it.

Original poster

Catsarethebest85 · 07/05/2023 11:17

@purplejeanie Did your son rely on his dummy to get to sleep? When we’ve tried her without it before she’s not been able to fall asleep for hours. Not crying as such (she isn’t really a crier at all) but just frustrated and fussy. It seems she just simply can’t fall asleep without it 😩

OP posts:

purplejeanie · 07/05/2023 11:53

Yes it's the only way he got to sleep and I couldn't imagine how he'd get to sleep without it. He learnt to suck his fingers instead. I'd persevere with it-she will get there-and obviously it's not good for her either to have such disrupted sleep.

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