7month old waking constantly for comfort

[Sleepymum22]

Hello parents,

My DS who is 7m old has never been much of a sleeper and the longest stretch we've ever had was 6hours once at around 4/5m. The concern is that when he wakes he is seemingly asleep but screaming and writhing. He will literally only settle (and the calmness is marked) for the boob. We have tried pacing, singing, dummy, tricking him with dummy in and boob out to make him think he's comforting. DS wakes every 2 hours and we've resorted to cosleeping to get through but it's not working for me anymore and I'm looking for suggestions.

DS is our second and DD (4yr) was very textbook. We did gentle CIO at 10 months and she got it in 3 days. Difference is this time that she slept through the night and needed help with initial drop off. DS can drop off independently but then wakes consistently and I'm not sure gentle CIO will work with this. I'll add that I think he is feeding once or twice and other than that it's just comfort.

DS has taken to food well, is combi fed and is otherwise a happy boy. Takes a dummy (on his own terms) and has a Ewan for white noise.

Looking for help, advice and reassurance please.

I took my ds in around 6m for similar and got him out at 9m, it didn't necessarily work for me but it v much did for him lol and it was the least worst solution. When I changed things at 9m, it was suddenly no problem to go back in cot after 10-11pm feed and I got about 4h or so then.

He’s a baby. This is absolutely normal sleep behaviour.

Why is it that you think comfort isn’t as important of a need? Why have you placed more value on hunger or nappy changes?

You say “he’s only waking for comfort and I want it to stop” as though his need to feel safe and reassured is less important than your desire to sleep.

Sleep is developmental. Waking every couple of hours can be normal until toddlerhood.

It might not be “working” for you, but you chose to have a baby and this is the harsh reality - they need comfort and care throughout the nighttime too.

Hi SunnySaturdayMorning,

I'm not sure if you meant for your comment to be as pointed as it sounded on a forum were parents come for reassurance and help.

I'm sure the core message is well meaning. Do I value comfort over hunger, no, but I'm trying to benchmark and see if there are any techniques to elevate his distress without relying solely on holding my nipple in his mouth.

As a mum to a very energetic toddler, 7m of sustained sleep deprivation is taking its toll I'm afraid to say. I'm not a machine, that's why I'm trying to improve my situation. But thank you for reminding me he is a baby and for reminding me the choice to have said baby was mine, therefore I should put up and shut up.

I'm sorry you have had such an unhelpful and unsupportive response above OP. There can be a lot of righteousness on this forum at times. You don't need to justify yourself, your need for sleep, and looking for ways to improve the situation, is valid and doesn't in any way mean you don't love your baby or you're not meeting his needs.

In terms of solutions, my nearly 6 month old isn't a good sleeper and I've tried lots of things... white noise ensuring good temperature a good nap routine and ensuring she can self settle at the outset. None of it has reduced the frequency of wake ups.

My next step is to consider using a sleep consultant. I'm considering the Millpond Sleep Clinic, they sound good. Might be worth a try? I understand they have a variety of techniques not just CIO.

Could you tank up food and milk in the day to see if it makes a difference?

Hang in there OP xx

^^This 100%....I loathe the 'what did you expect.. put up or shut up' attitude on here. As if sleep is a nice to have rather than essential for physical and mental functioning/wellbeing. Aside from solidarity I have no advice I'm afraid as we're in a very similar position with our 7month old DD. She has the last couple of nights started to self settle, so we're going to give it a couple more nights.....if no improvement plan to try modified Ferber (shorter time I intervals and will need to pick up to calm as DD goes ballistic if you try hands on settling in cot). Sleep consultant is a good shout if you can afford. I had a 30min free consultation, which in itself was helpful. Good luck!

It's exhausting isn't it! But as has been previously said it is completely normal behaviour for a 7 month old and even for a much older baby too. Babies do wake for comfort and just need that reassurance that you're still there. I would highly recommend The Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith which explains developmentally normal sleep and gives quite a few tips on how to improve sleep. Unfortunately 'gentle CIO' doesn't exist, leaving a baby to cry can never be gentle. And the research shows that it can be harmful and long-term doesn't actually improve sleep.

I disagree...there is no good systematic research on the harms (or benefits) of sleep training. There is good quality evidence on the harms of sleep deprivation, however. You have to weigh up the evidence for yourself, your individual situation and do what you feel is best for your baby, you and your family.

@MooMaa83 I completely agree you have to weigh up your personal circumstances and that sleep deprivation can be incredibly dangerous. Whilst I personally would never do sleep training as I've read the research on it, if someone else feels they need to do it for their personal circumstances that is entirely their decision. My point is you cannot call CIO gentle, because it just frankly isn't. There's nothing gentle about leaving your baby to cry when they need you.