My arm is dead

[Merrow]

Is there a method to having your hand over the side of a crib that doesn't leave you with a dead arm? Or is it doomed to be uncomfortable? I was hoping some strategically placed muslin padding might help...

DS2 is 5 weeks corrected and will only sleep in his crib with my hand on him (and even then it's hit and miss). I've managed to get him to sleep for at most an hour and a half because that's how long I can last without needing to move my arm. With DS1 I could get him to sleep with my hand there but very gently remove it, but DS2 is not fooled by such tricks. I don't mind keeping my hand on him, I just need it to survive the process (and be comfortable enough that I sleep too!)

I don't want to cosleep as DS2 was 3 months early and therefore a higher risk for SID, and I'm getting help for my high anxiety levels about his health generally so know I won't manage to sleep no matter how safe on paper I can make it. I'm ok on the sleep I am getting as DP is taking him for a good first chunk in the early evening and again at 6am if needed, so I don't feel I'm at risk of accidentally falling asleep in an unsafe way. Although obviously the whole family would benefit from us both getting a good sleep overnight.

I used to have Ds’s cot flush with my bed and the side lowered. His mattress was adjusted so that the side of the cot (when lowered) was just low enough it would stop him or me rolling together. I lashed his cot to the bed with bungee cords at the legs.

not sure you can do that with a crib?

Would you be happy to get a 'next to you' crib? It would be easier to have your hand on the baby.

I'm really so aware that I have a high level of paranoia, but I've looked at these and worry about the duvet going in. I often wake up with it twisted around and half off the bed, so clearly I get up to some sort of mad dancing in my sleep.

That sounds like a variation on the next to me crib. Did you have the side high enough that you didn't worry about the duvet going in? Or were you just more capable of being rational about the likelihood of that?

Snuzpod works a treat for us with a sleepyhead so our DD2 is cosy . She’s three months old and has been sleeping through for the last week . I can reach her etc and see her either with side up or down. We stared with a bassinet but like you my arm was going dead leaning over and the snuzpod I don’t have to move I can just roll over and see her .

How about layering up with warm pyjamas to sleep in and ditching your duvet for a thin sheet?

Thank you all - I borrowed a friend's next to me and my arm survived the night! Unfortunately DS' sleep showed no signs of improvement, but I'm telling myself that will come. I pinned the duvet under the mattress so it couldn't possibly reach the cot (DP is sleeping in another room) then wore a dressing gown as I couldn't do my usual wrapping myself in a duvet. Even in my hyper paranoid state I couldn't work out how DS would be in danger!