Please help me, 12 month sleep

[Desperate2ndmum]

Hi,

I wonder if anyone out there can help me. I am so desperate I am at breaking point.

My 12 month old has always been a really bad sleeper but around 9/10 months she calmed down somewhat and slept roughly 7-7 with one feed- some nights not even waking for the feed. However the last few weeks she has done a complete 360. Self settles at bedtime and for naps and falls asleep without much assistance to sleep but every single night without fail will wake up crying for hours and hours on end- this is after the usual wake up for a feed around 11/12. It can go on for hours and hours and nothing will settle her! I’ve resorted to putting on nighttime lullabies on YouTube just to calm her down and then waiting 20/30 mins and then putting her back to sleep. Sometimes I rock and pat and sing for what feels like forever, she’ll go silent and I think I’ve cracked it and she starts sobbing uncontrollably!

I thought it must be teeth because she’s constantly chewing on fingers, dribbling and biting me SO hard but it’s been almost 2 months now with no signs of any more teeth.

I’m going to call the GP on Monday because I’m now considering she’s got a physical problem or pain and I can’t help her. I just don’t know what to do anymore, this is only at night- during the day she is mostly fine.

please please help me, what am I doing wrong? Everyone I know with babies similar age don’t do this and I just feel like the biggest failure.

today’s episode started at 4am and hasn’t stopped since.. won’t stop hysterically crying

That sounds dreadful. Presumably you've done all the usual things? Could she be hungry? If not-have you tried calpol if you think it might be teeth?

Thank you so much for responding.

Yes, I try and hold off on more milk because I know she’s full but after a while I give in and after that she’ll puke so I know she doesn’t want the milk but everyday I’ll try anything and everything just to get her to settle again.

I also check her nappy and change it in case it’s full and uncomfortable.

so I’ve resorted to giving her calpol or nurofen before bedtime but I haven’t done this overnight so may need to start giving it to her after the milk feed. Although I thought she can only have it for a number of days in a row, I can’t consistently be using this as a method to get her to sleep can I?

I just don’t know what’s causing her to wake up and be in such discomfort.

Hiya. Sounds rough, I'm sorry. I have a 16mo but I do remember things being tough around her birthday. We had to resort to sleep training, which did work, even with the hysterical crying. Is she breastfed? We also cut out all night feeds and I wouldn't go in at night because of she saw me she'd go absolutely mental wanting boob for comfort. Good to rule anything out with the gp though. I wish you best of luck!

I have a 12 month old and his sleep varies so much at the moment from sleeping through to waking several times. But I think it’s supposed to be a bit of a clingy phase so that could be it. Look up leap 8. Although you’ve said it’s been going on for 2 months so maybe not that.
I also think he’s maybe having nightmares as sometimes when he wakes he just seems so upset but doesn’t even want milk (still bf), he just seems not quite with it for a while.
I’d try giving calpol when she’s upset rather than before she goes to sleep and see if it makes a difference. Do you try teething gel also?
Get her checked out in case something is causing pain.
Does her dad also try to comfort her? Are you breastfeeding? I know my DP can sometimes settle him whereas if I’m the one who goes to him he won’t settle without me feeding him.

We cosleep at the moment because the sleep has never been good enough for me to want to put her in a separate room. She does nap in her cot though sometimes but definitely has a preference for our bed which is fine by me for now.

I have tried to cut out night feeds but sometimes the crying goes full on hysterical and the only thing that will calm her down is the bottle- she’s bottle fed. Just switched to cows milk today to try and see if that will help, I’m already not sleeping so feel like I have nothing more left to lose.

So I think I know when she’s having nightmares because she whimpers and really softly cries like when she’s scared by a new toy or sound etc.

She’s bottle fed but never been a huge drinker, still isn’t but good with solids so I know she makes up for the lack of milk through food.

Her dad does try but she has a preference for me- especially recently, as soon as I hand her over to hand to walk around the bedroom with her to go back to sleep she cries even louder.

I’m going to call the gp tomorrow to get her seen asap just in case it’s her ears or she has an allergies or intolerance that I just don’t know about. This makes me dread booking her in for her 1 year injections :’( it can’t get possibly worse can it?

I feel so at rock bottom.