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Sleep/extreme separation anxiety? Please tell me it will get better

2 replies

TolkienLover · 20/04/2023 21:07

Hi all

My 5 month old was a decent sleeper as a newborn- swaddled, in her next to me crib at night for nice stretches, and napped during the day in the sleepyhead, or the next to me, or her pram. Then the regression hit around the same time she caught a horrible cold (honestly it was terrible!).

Anyway, since then her sleep has gone to shit, but she also seems to have terrible separation anxiety. I thought she was too young for this? This is the current situation and I feel it's becoming unsustainable: During the day, she will only nap whilst latched onto me or with me holding her- if I unlatch her, she lasts about 15-30 minutes maximum and wakes up still tired (seemingly). I have a toddler as well so napping when she naps isn't an option. When she is awake, I have to be holding her and on the move, or in very close proximity, otherwise all hell breaks loose. I've tried a sling and a baby carrier, she just won't have it- I have to hold her in my arms and be on the move. I feel like she is constantly overtired because of the gazillion cat naps. She is also showing signs of teething- I've tried all the usual stuff but still no change. She loses her shit if anyone else is holding her, including DH.

At night, I've resigned to co-sleeping and once she nods off in my bed, she will go for a few hours before snacking for the rest of the night, I don't really keep track of how often. Honestly, I don't mind this too much because it beats the CONSTANT whining/crying during the day. Around 5am she gets quite windy and from that point until 7.30ish it's her thrashing about and me shoving a boob in her face for an extra 10 minutes of sleep at a time.

Has anyone faced similar? I presume I will never get to the bottom of this and it's just something to ride out, but I would be grateful for any advice or solidarity.

Initially her behaviour during the day made me question whether she was getting enough milk (EBF) but I've had her weighed quite a few times now and she's gaining absolutely fine...so it's really a sleep/separation issue rather than a feeding one. I really cannot go on like this- thankfully the weather has improved so I've tried to get out with her and my toddler often as I can- it's hit and miss really. Sometimes she is screaming the entire she's in the pram or baby carrier (as I'm not holding her) and sometimes she will nod off.

Pleaseeee someone tell me they went through this and either found a solution or when it got better. Please.

OP posts:
shutthewindownow · 20/04/2023 21:24

Everything with babies is a phase. Being so poorly has thrown her all out but this is temporary and it will settle down. I take it you don't want to sleep train I think she is too young anyway I'm sure it will get better with time then there will be something else to worry about !!! Good luck.

mnuser08 · 20/04/2023 21:38

Sadly I can't give any advice but I'm right here with you. Mine is four months and also become very clingy with only me. Screams when DH tries to help. I've been told it's a phase so also riding it out. Just means they are with you ALL THE TIME and the pressure on only you to settle them...

But as I say. I've heard this is very normal. We are with them all the time so are the preference. Mine also doesn't like to be put down! For some reason she is ok in the sling but only since we've recently been facing her forwards. Have you tried that? It may distract them?

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