2 month old refuses to be put down/sleep in her crib

[Littleslug]

My newborn is 2 months and she refuses to sleep in her cot/next to me crib at all.
She doesn't like being put down at all. As soon as she is out of arms (she's okay with anyone as long as she's being held) she screams. She won't sit in a bouncer, a rocker, her cot or anything that doesn't involve her being carried. Although it is overwhelming, I manage to get small tasks done with her either in a sling or with her dad carrying her whilst I do things. During the day it is not so much of a problem.

However at night it is becoming increasingly overwhelming and impractical. Her dad and I have been doing shift work 7-12 1-6 in order for us to get some sleep at night however her dad is starting a new job which requires him to do long hours and being away which means at night time it will just be me available. Because of this I have tried to get her to sleep in her cot, as it will be unsafe as I cannot carry her whilst I sleep and she absolutely refuses to co sleep. She has to be held constantly. For the past week we have tried to get her to sleep in her cot, we've tried swaddling, sleep sacks, etc but she just refuses. She sleeps for around 20 minutes and wakes up screaming. We have tried to settle her while in her cot but she won't take a dummy or doesn't soothe and continues screaming until she is picked up. Even if she is picked up she won't sleep unless you are walking (possibly something to do with the motion?).

Trying to get her to sleep in her bed is draining all the energy out of me and I'm not really sure on what to do going forward. Everyone says it is normal for a child to want to be held (which I agree with) however at night it's just impossible to do so. They say it starts to get better after the 2 month mark but honestly I'm struggling to stay positive based on that.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Or any advice. Advice would be most welcome
Thank you

So sorry OP this sounds so tough. Does she have any reflux or something which might making laying down uncomfortable for her and might be waking her up? I only ask as this sounds v much like what my eldest was like when her reflux was bad as it was waking her up when we laid her down.

It does sound like reflux. You don't say how you are feeding her OP, but consider allergies and intolerences too.
Is she weeing and pooing ok? Gassy?
Talk to your HV in the first instance, that might shed some light.

Oh so tough but I am afraid I disagree with the others and say it sounds within the range of normal. Are you familiar with the fourth trimester? It's the biological norm for her to want to be near you. She knows know different as this is what she has been used to for pregnancy. She isn't 'refusing'. Safe cosleeping May be an option for you? Realistically you can't change much at this stage but a change of mindset and acceptance and understanding my newborn made a difference for me. Empathy though - it's tough.

So initially we took her to the doctors because we suspected just that. She was spitting up food (not necessarily being sick), refusing feeds and arching her back etc they gave us gaviscon which didn't seem to do anything honestly and in the end we went to a&e because we were so exhausted from the non stop crying. The doctor basically said there's nothing wrong with her and that she just needs to get used to being on formula (although we had already been on formula for 5 weeks by then)

I did suspected allergies which is why we took her doctors her poos were green and she had very bad constipation and would strain to poo every 3 days. The doctors gave hs lactulose however she still struggles to poo til this day
She also started developing eczema at 6 weeks
Aswell as the other things mentioned previously (arching back, refusing feeds, spitting up etc)
But as I said the doctor just said she needs to get used to formula and said there is nothing wrong with her because she is gaining weight They recommended we try hipp organic instead
She spits up less however still refuses feeds and still has hard green stools
I've been to the doctors at least once a week and they don't seem to think anything is wrong at all so I'm honestly not sure where to go from there

We have tried co sleeping but as soon as you lay her down whether it is right next to me in our bed or her own crib she becomes unsettled and cries I'll look into the fourth trimester! And cosleeping a bit more Thank you

I think one of the most commonly forgotten causes of crying is overstimulation/over tiredness - a bit ironic when you are trying your best to get them to sleep.
This is really interesting -

www.babydoc.com.au/faq/colic-bore-your-baby-to-sleep/

Sorry you haven't been supported OP by medical professionals. Is your HV any help? I'd push back as much as you can and see what else they can try, some of the things you mention definitely sound like reflux or potential allergies.

Whilst wanting to be held can be normal behaviour in the fourth trimester and overstimulation is a cause of 'colic', I disagree it should be disregarded and accepted as normal newborn behaviour. It can be quite damaging being told its normal where you know something else is going on, my DD ended up in hospital unwell which we eventually discovered was an allergy and not "normal newborn behaviour". Not even being able to lie down to co sleep would have made me reach out to medical professionals too so I really hope you manage to get some help and some more rest soon.

That all sounds awful.
I am a retired midwife and I would absolutely be recommending a referral to a paediatrician with all of those symptoms.
I am sorry, but some gps aren't experienced with feeding/ digestive issues.
Can you afford a private consult?
You need to look for a paed with an interest in allergies and intolerences.
Google the paeds at your local hospital, then check whether any do private practice.

Try a hypoallergenic formula! It could be a cow's milk allergy that is making her so unhappy.

Sounds just like mine at that age....you have my sympathies it is truly awful. She ended up having silent reflux and CMPA. She improved after I eliminated dairy from my diet and GP prescribed Nutramigen (we combi feed). The only way she would settle out of arms was co sleeping but lying on her side facing my boob....I know not recommended and I did keep attempting to roll onto her back. I didn't sleep brilliantly like this, but at least I could lie down and rest, and safer than falling asleep with her in my arms (which I did twice and scared the hell out of me). It does get better...I think for us better and 10weeks, then 12 weeks a lot better.

BTW you can buy Nutramigen formula yourself....expensive but if it improves symptoms will give you some ammunition to go to the GP and request prescription

Update Thanks for all the responses. I went to the gp for her 8 week check up and they said that with all her symptoms they were confused as to why hypoallergenic formula wasn't suggested. We have been on nutramigen for 2 days and her stool has gone back to normal (going everyday, mustardy instead of green), her eczema has completely cleared up, she doesn't arch her back when feeding
We've even gotten her to sleep in her cot at night for 1-3 hour stretches.
Shes still a little miserable during the day and still wants to be held constantly but she's having moments where she is content playing by herself and kicking her legs

Shes having problems taking a lot of milk and spitting up but I think she just doesn't like/isn't used to the taste
But still progress is progress nonetheless

One of our twins did this, health visitor said change formula so we did and never looked back

Glad to hear the update OP....good progress by the sounds of it. Hope you've been able to get some more rest too.