6 month old no longer sleeps in cot at night

[ecossegirl91]

Could be a long post, will try be brief.
baby is six months - first 4 months were hard - colic/reflux, cried most of the day BUT slept at night (which got me through the hard days). From 12 weeks slept 8pm till 5am, dummy back in and then slept till 7ish. Baby was rocked to sleep and put down asleep in our room in a next to me (he outgrew this about 2 weeks ago and is now in own room but sleep went haywire way before this so don’t think it’s the cot).

Sleep went downhill gradually - the 5am resettle became 2am and 4am and 5am but still a dummy in and back he went so wasn’t too bad. Now baby struggles to stay asleep for sometimes 15 mins and defo wakes every hour and needs fully resettled. Not just the dummy. We are exhausted.

had to stop rocking to sleep as would immediately wake on transfer so now we pop in cot awake and get drowsy in the cot and leave before he falls asleep. Can take a good hour to get him asleep tho. And then he can awaken 15 mins later. And this goes on and on all night.

in a few nights of despair we have co slept. He loves it and falls asleep immediately and basically sleeps the night. So he can sleep. He just can’t sleep alone now despite never having co slept before (he does contact nap in the day)
I know people will say just co sleep but we don’t want too. We don’t sleep well and it makes me anxious. Plus sometimes I’ll want wine with dinner or cocktails with my friends and can’t do this when co sleeping.

he also goes from fussing to hysterical in a heartbeat so when he wakes up and starts moaning it’s hard to Leave him to see if he’ll self settle at all as he can get so worked up!

he’s went from sleeping fine in the cot to max one hour stretches. The other night he did gift us a 3 hour stretch and thought I’d won the lottery. Me and my husband honestly have slept properly in 6 weeks as he wakes every hour. It’s unsustainable.

room is 19 degrees and we’ve tried variations of night clothes incase too hot too cold - same result with all.

sorry for the probably incoherent post.
any tips?

I absolutely hate cosleeping. So I understand why you don't want to do it. However, my baby hates cosleeping too and it wouldn't make any difference to night wakes. I would just ride this out and forgo the wine and cocktails for a few months and prioritise sleep. Do some sleep training in a couple of weeks / months

It sounds like the 4 month sleep regression where their sleep changes and they have to learn to link sleep cycles - I did whatever it took as wakes were every 45 minutes and then it just ended and they slept fine on their own after that.. I think there's a fear to do anything that might create a 'rod for your back', I hate that expression but I always found I only needed to do it for a short whole and they were able to sleep fine on their own after that, it never translated into doing anything forever, it was just temporary. I would suggest loving cot back into your room though, the APA says to have them sleep with you for a year if possible, six months at the least, I think that would make a big difference too..

Moving

His cot doesn’t fit in the bedroom and he’s too big for his next to me which is why he’s in his own room from 5.5 months. He’s 6 months in a few days

I’m also not a fan of cosleeping but have been doing it for two months with my almost 6-month-old because he suddenly started absolutely refusing to sleep in his crib and nothing else worked. We’re planning to transition him back to the cot soon, so cosleeping will - I hope! - only have been a temporary way for us all to get some sleep. I’ve become much less anxious about it now because it’s become a routine. Could you try it temporarily while your baby rides out this funky sleep phase?

At this age DS was the same and the HV advised the following “do what you have to do to get through it”. This included

• put baby down in their cot, but co sleep from when they wake (eg 2am) if that’s what helps everyone sleep better
• start weaning early as it may fill baby up

My friend is a nanny and she advised sleep training. It worked for us.

We used a snoo till ours was 9m.. it’s meant till 6m but he loved his so we kept him in. It rocks and plays white noise, truly amazing piece of kit

@PurBal what sleep training did you use?

we put him down to bed between 7 and half past and we go up around ten but honestly he’s probably woken 3 or 4 times by the time we get upstairs - like every 20/40 mins. I worry he’s not getting enough.

OP - we're going through this now, when did this stop for you? We've had a week of our previously sleeping baby will now not go in her cot, whereas she's been fine to do that for the last few months! Resorting to co sleeping which I don't like at all 😭 Need to know there's light at the end of the tunnel 😅 she's my second and my first never did anything like this

@SMLSML so he’s 2.2 now and this is a distant memory! If I remember correctly we kept persevering with the cot and perhaps around 8m it just stopped and he settled in his cots for longer periods. We did then go through the hell of split nights from around 12-18m but after trial and error with his routine that seemed to go away too and I’d say we have been in a good place sleep wise for the past 8m or so! I’m pregnant with my 2nd now so I must have forgotten about all the sleep issues to do it again 😆

Thank you so much for responding! So reassuring. This is my second and it's all a distant memory with my first 🤣 so hope it stops soon and thanks again! Just going to keep trying to get her back in the next to me I think and Co sleep if we're exhausted 😅