Transitioning from being held to sleep

[Bellesjp]

Baby is 8 weeks old. Since she was born (and in desperation) the only way I've been able to get her to sleep is being held/fed until she's in a deep enough sleep to put her down, which to be fair she will then stay asleep for hours (at night, can't put her down in the day)

Daytime not so much a problem as she'll also nap in the pram/car, but it's getting harder to put her down at night without her waking, then she won't go back to sleep unless I pick her up and feed back to sleep..

How do I go about starting to put her down awake and teaching her to get herself to sleep? Have tried patting/rocking for ages and she just gets increasingly agitated until I pick her up again.

For context we have loud white noise and Ewan the sheep shushing when I put her down

Have I just made a rod for my own back?!

Whenever I see people posting about rods I suggest you read some Motherly articles or the Mother Truths posts on Instagram. You can't hold your baby too much. They learn to sleep independently on their own timetable. It goes so so fast you'll miss doing what is biologically normal and there's no need to rush to escape it.

I'd be happy to continue if it's working but it's getting harder to keep her asleep when I put her in her crib at night, was wondering if anyone had any tips to settle her when her eyes ping open without picking her up and starting the whole process again! 🙈

My first was like this, but tbh at 8 weeks, thats still really young for them to get to sleep themselves.
Oh and you NEVER can make a rod for your own back when they're this small!

The only thing id say is maybe you have to just keep hold a bit longer, til shes in a deeper sleep?
Not sure how long you wait at the min before putting her down but id wait at least 10 mins after they've fell asleep before attempting it.
Also, maybe have a muslin or something between you and her, then when you put down keep that there for a min so its not a shock/colder to her and it still smells of you xx obviously if you're comfortable trying that xx then once the transfer is complete and shes still asleep, remove it?

Keep with the white noise and ewan. They help later on :)

Thankyou maybe she is just too young still! Was just worried it's going to get harder and harder as she gets bigger to gently move her. She already feels so heavy to move slowly without her realising 🙈 I do hold her for 15/20 mins usually to get her in a deep sleep but she falls asleep feeding a lot of the time then stirs when I wind her but not properly awake so never sure when to start the timer from lol!

Good idea with the muslin, will try that 😊

It will get harder the older she gets. Try coaxing her away from feeding to sleep slowly. Srart by feeding her but detach her from breast when she's been asleep a few minutes and hold her (her head on your shoulder) for 20 minutes until she's in deep sleep, then teansfer to crib.

Then reduce the amount of time she's asleep while you're feeding her until you get to the point where she's awake when you put her on shoulder. Do that over 1 week so not too fast but not too slow. If she cries, walk with her at quite a fast pace around the house with her head on your shoulder. That'll get her to stop crying. Then once she's stopped crying sit down again and let her fall asleep on your shoulder. That should stop the feeding to sleep crutch.

Next step is to shorten the time asleep on your shoulder before transferring to crib. Over another week get it to the point where she's just fallen asleep on your shoulder then put her in crib. Once she's OK with that then put her straight in crib drowsy but awake (an overused term but no other way to describe it).

I think I read that it's easiest to get kids sleeping independently between 2-3 months old so you've got some time to gradually get her into a new routine.

Good luck!

But she's so little and still in the fourth trimester. Anything you do now is likely to be up in the air when she goes through the first big sleep leap.

@Bookshipper Thankyou that was really helpful

Feel like we've made a bit of progress.. I can now feed her, wind then she'll fall asleep on me not feeding. Also I have put her down a few times and she's woken up, usually I'd have picked her up and started again but I thought I'll see what she does if I leave her 10 mins. She wasn't crying just whinging a bit, well after 2 mins she fell back to sleep on her own with the help of Ewan! Maybe I've been a bit hasty picking her back up again!!

Will try putting her down a bit more awake soon but happy with that for now, don't want to push my luck 😂