How to get baby to fall asleep independently with a toddler in tow

[ohbaby22]

My DS is nearly 7 months. He was a great sleeper until he hit 6 months and then it all went to pot. He has started fighting naps and I have to rock him until he is asleep, night time he will fall asleep himself (after about 20 mins messing in his cot) but we have multiple wake ups overnight. I am struggling now to get him down for his naps while trying to keep an eye on my toddler. It would be so much easier if I could put him down and for him to drift off himself, am I expecting too much of him? 🙈 currently we wake at 7am, try for a nap around 9am but it's usually 9.30am by the time he is over, another nap at 12.30pm and a cat nap at 4.30pm. Sometimes he will refuse the 4.30 nap so we put him to bed at 6.30pm otherwise it's 7pm. I am hoping this is some sort of regression after starting solids and learning to sit up, but I am afraid so much support to go to sleep is going to stick and he will always need this. The guilt of spending so much time away from my toddler is really getting to me now 😥

Three daily naps seems like a lot for a 7-month-old. Mine were down to one by that age, or none even (although she was unusual in that). If he's resisting, it's probably not worth trying to force it. Could you try doing one longer nap in the middle of the day? Maybe if you let him get more tired, he'll be more ready to go down?

Once he's crawling and walking, it will all change ... at this age, the phases change quickly, just as you get used to one pattern, you've got to readjust! 🙂

I have an over 1 year old who has two naps. So not sure about the 0-1 nap advice.
its an absolute pain isn’t it. I’ve managed with a combination of sling, strategic car journeys to promote falling asleep and letting baby sleep on me whilst keeping an eye on sibling.

im not sure many babies will just fall asleep for naps after the first few months but then I have a couple of friends who are able to pop their 1 year old in a cot and walk off so maybe it’s me!

My DC is almost 7 months too and still taking 3 naps, sometimes 4.

No naps or just 1 nap at that age seems crazy to me!!

I just put tv on for my 2 year old whilst I put DC down. Usually takes15 mins. I have to feed to sleep though so it's not like I just put her in her cot and she falls asleep on her own.

Also try extending their wake window or waking them earlier in the morning.

When Dd is up before 7 she goes down so much easier for her morning nap, but after 7 it can be a pain.

Sounds like they’re naturally dropping the 3rd nap, which is about right for 7 months. So I wouldn’t spend any time on that one, if he naturally falls asleep then fine but if not leave it and carry on as you are being a bit flexible with bedtime. As for the others, will baby sleep in the pram? If yes get out of the house, let the older one run around the park whilst you push baby to sleep.

My daughter is the same age as yours. At this age they need a 2.5-3 hour awake window our routine is this

Awake 7am
Nap 9.45
Awake 11.15 ish
Nap 1.45ish
Awake 3.30ish
Bed 7pm

No naps after 4 if I want a 7pm bed time. Generally it works 90% of the time and she sleeps through. Hasn't had a bottle at night since 10 weeks.

We definitely couldn't do 1 nap, he would be so cranky all day and wake after 40 minutes anyway 😫 I think he is dropping the last nap but his lunch time sleep ends so early it's hard to make it to bedtime. This transition period is so challenging - my toddler has so much screen time at the minute 🙈 thanks for routine suggestions, I will see if we can adapt a bit. Another issue we have is toddler groups etc run in the morning around the ideal nap time for baby, so it is a throw up between getting a nap in or getting the toddler out. I hate to say it but I am wishing these baby months away 😭

Just come back to this thread OP!

How are things going now?

Hi! He is 8 months now and not much better sleep wise 🙈 he starts his nights in his own cot but we end up bedsharing at some point in the night so we can get a solid block of sleep. He really struggles with naps and will only do 30 mins at a time unless being held, which I can't do when I have my eldest around. Hoping we put him to bed one night and by some miracle he sleeps through 🙃

Oh man I could have written this myself.

Exact same situation with naps and bedtime here!

If you're willing to wake up earlier in the morning then your baby might do a longer morning stretch.

So DD2 would happily stay asleep till 7.30/8am but If I wake her around 6.30 her morning nap is a good hour long (basically making up for lost sleep) and sometimes her second nap is longer than 30 mins too.

Hope yoUur DS naps get longer soon!

Hi @lordspikey

It's so hard isn't it 🙈 with my first it was fine to contact nap all day but this time round that's not possible 😅 we have actually contacted a sleep consultant and had an initial call with her. Hope to start implementing the plan tonight 🤞🏻

Just a quick update. We tried some sleep training using the plan from the sleep consultant and it has worked a treat. Can now set him in to the cot awake and leave, he usually is asleep within 5 mins!!! I still can't believe it

It's hard at that stage. Between 7 and 12 months my youngest didn't settle well for naps nor during the night. Have no solution but just after her 1st birthday she changed and started self settling and sleeping through the night too. So there is always hope! I had a toddler too but luckily I could set him up in a safe space with toys that his little sister usually disrupted (train set, farm, duplo) or sometimes he would come into the bedroom and cuddle/look at books himself.

That's good to hear, OP! So many people come on here to slag off sleep training but it can be a godsend. Much better than everyone getting cranky and frustrated.

@AuntieJune I know it has really worked for us. I was afraid that baby would start to fret going into his cot but he's actually happier going in now. We are all feeling much better after a good nights sleep 😀

Good for you @ohbaby22 ! In the same boat you were in... Can I ask what sleep training you ended up doing? Did your sleep consultant recommend changing much?

@k80pie we changed the timing of his naps and done controlled crying, we started with his night sleep doing 5 min check ins. We had 1 bad night of crying and that was it. We had to do the same for his naps however after the first night he didn't cry for any longer than 5 mins. They recommended dark room, white noise, consistent routine which we were already doing. Feels like there has been a massive difference for very little change!

Thanks @ohbaby22 - I was going to reply after I’d tried the sleep training too but I still haven’t managed it and baby is 8 months… the thing I can’t figure out is what to do with the older sibling! What did you do? Ours have bedrooms next to each other and last night when there was a bit of crying my older DC called out about ‘all the noise’! He can’t really stay anywhere else. What did you do?

We have white noise playing in both rooms which helped. Someone also suggested another white noise in the hall between their two rooms but we didn't need it. After the first night I was able to put baby in to his cot for his nap and walk out. He went over to sleep after a few minutes. Toddler was absorbed in an episode of blippi 🙃 and was none the wiser! Baby is 9 months now and naps 10am-11am and 2pm-3.30pm, bed at 7pm. He has to be woken from both naps. We are now in the awkward stage where my toddler is dropping his nap so no break in the day for me 🥲

Thanks so much for this @ohbaby22 ! Interesting about the set nap times and having to wake him, I’ve been going by wake windows but it’s a bit chaotic - though I have to be able to collect DS from school at 3pm which complicates things. Oh gosh I remember when mine dropped his nap! Sending you strength!