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21 Months and wakes constantly in the night

9 replies

RalphysTIREDmama · 26/03/2023 18:54

My LB will be 21 months in a week, for the last few months bud nighttime waking has been absolutely horrific. I work full time and don’t know how much longer I can physically cope being so tired daily! He hasn’t always been a great sleepy to be fair and has rarely self soothed to sleep. He is in his own crib (co-slept for 1st 9months as he was EBF), he goes to sleep no issues around 19:30, albeit he holds our hand through the cot until he falls asleep! He then will sleep for around 5/6 hours until he wakes up crying sat up right gradually getting louder until we go in! I’ve tried leaving him to settle himself but this rarely happens and we’re taking a good 30/40 crying! We eventually give in and bring him in our bed, now he generally goes back to sleep but not without playing constantly with my hands which keeps me awake but he falls asleep (lucky so & so). Now when my husband goes to get him they sometimes get in the spare room so he isn’t searching the bed for me and he goes to sleep 9/10 with no drama. I need help/advice, this is a nightly occurrence & I'm beginning to dread going to bed. As soon ad he’s down I go to bed myself so mr & my husband don’t get any chill time as I go to bed ready for him waking.. #tired/exhaustedMamma please help!

OP posts:
LGBirmingham · 27/03/2023 08:31

What's his routine?

RalphysTIREDmama · 27/03/2023 10:00

Bed/asleep 19:30
Wakes around 2am (goes back to sleep) then wakes again around 4:30 and won't settle unless he comes in our bed then he's up at 6am
7oz milk & breakfast
Nap 13:00 for 1/1.5 hours

OP posts:
happysingleversary · 27/03/2023 10:04

They wake to build milk supply and check they are safe. 21 months is still a baby and naturally would still be feeding in the night.

Society has moved away from what's biologically normal.

Mine was in bed with me and would wake in the night, see me, go back to sleep, sometimes feed.

She's 6 now, still in my bed, but wasn't from age 2-6, and would wake 2-3times/night and cry.

Since coming back into bed with me sleeps through.

This is all due to family disruption.

Point being she's still relatively a baby biologically and isn't comfortable sleeping alone. that's just what's natural.

RalphysTIREDmama · 27/03/2023 10:32

Wake up build milk supply ? I stopped breast feeding at 9 months and he's now nearly 21 months. The point here being he's getting broken sleep in his bed and I'm getting broken sleep when he's in my bed. Surly at 21 months of age he should be sleeping through with minimal makeups. Sorry if I wasn't clear

OP posts:
happysingleversary · 27/03/2023 10:36

RalphysTIREDmama · 27/03/2023 10:32

Wake up build milk supply ? I stopped breast feeding at 9 months and he's now nearly 21 months. The point here being he's getting broken sleep in his bed and I'm getting broken sleep when he's in my bed. Surly at 21 months of age he should be sleeping through with minimal makeups. Sorry if I wasn't clear

Yes but the innate biological behaviours don't stop because we stop breastfeeding.

No, it never goes like that, or at least rarely. We aren't born with the knowledge that our parents don't wish to sleep with us.

I get that it's difficult in your bed, and mine went into her own bed around that time too but as I said, she just kept waking up and now she's back with me.

What about having him sleep in a next to me crib?

LGBirmingham · 27/03/2023 12:44

I'd give a later bedtime a shot op, he may just need a bit more tired in his tank, sounds like he goes 7 hours before his nap but only 5 before bed.

2 wakes is no fun but not as awful as I was expecting from your post!

Might setting up a bed for you in his room help as well? He might wake, see you're there and go back to sleep? If it was be I would start the night in my bed and move through at the first wake then maybe have my hand in his cot. Would probably stop the second wake.

Capitalismwantsyou · 27/03/2023 12:51

Sorry OP this is normal. Mine didn't sleep through till 2, still not a great sleeper at 4. It gets easier though! Nap when you can. Once i accepted this life, it wasn't so bad

RalphysTIREDmama · 27/03/2023 12:52

Having broken sleep isn't fun in the slightest especially when I work 5 days a week, it might not sound as bad to you but believe me having broken sleep 7 days a week with no break is debilitating. I shall give an 8pm a shot, I'll try anything. Thanks

OP posts:
Oopswediditagain2023 · 27/03/2023 12:58

I agree - later bedtime but to be honest, if he's slept through before, I would just leave him. Our eldest was the same and went from sleeping through to suddenly waking constantly in the night. In the end I just had to leave her as I was being a terrible mother in the daytime due to lack of sleep! It took 2 nights

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