Another split night plea for help..

[Chica1990]

Wise mumsnetters, I ask for your help!

my 18 month old has been doing split nights on and off for a couple of months. He's never been the best overnight sleeper but we had 10 glorious nights of him sleeping through in a row when he was 17 months them BAM, we are back to split nights which now last 2-3 hours.

I don't mind him waking in the night for feeds if he wants it (I know when he does as he shouts and shouts) but it's the awake period that I struggle with. Am I doing something wrong with his routine? Can be found below:

wake by half 7am
nap 12-1.30pm
bed 7.15-7.30pm

I recently cut the nap back from 2 hours but not sure why I bothered now. He's a fantastic napper, I just don't know why he wants to run around and party at night.

Any advice is appreciated 🙏🏼

Running around and partying need to be put to a stop. Look up the back to bed technique on utube by the 3 day nanny. You keep retuning to bed If you stick to it it will work but you have to follow it just as she says.

I agree, I did spend over an hour trying to put him back yesterday but he ended up throwing himself against the cot and only calmed down when I got him out! I'm weak in the night.

I'll watch the video and ask my husband if he can tag team with me on it. Thank you

Try a later bedtime?

If he's getting a 1.5hr nap and your aiming for 12 hrs at night that would be 13.5 hours a day which would be high sleep needs for a child of this age. You're actually achieving more like 11 with the split night. Which is probably what he needs.

Either later bedtime or wake earlier in the morning, or a bit of both.

@LGBirmingham I had wondered this but when I went googling it seemed like 13-14 hours sleep in a 24 hour period was typical for this age, but I will give it a go!

it feels like yesterday the wake up for the day time was random and he needed three naps a day 🥲

@Chica1990 yes the Internet likes to make you think your child should be sleeping 12 hrs at night and still have 2 naps a day of 1.5hrs each at 18months doesn't it? Oh and also that they will only be ready to drop thrur 2hr afternoon nap at 4 years old, it's crazy. Largely because it's trying to get you to pay for consultation services I think.

My ds's night sleep has consistently been 10.5 hrs. Even when he was little and woke up loads it would be 10.5hrs he was actually asleep. He only sleeps more if really fatigued and catching up. He is 2 now and can also get by quite happily on less sleep and have a longer nap. I prefer more night sleep though so try not to let that happen.

I'd recommend buying 'Still Awake' by Lyndsey Hookway. It's really helpful for all the toddler sleep issues, but covers older children too. She takes her info from studies I think. I've also always found ds is somewhere in the middle of what she says for average sleep needs. I think for 18 months it's 11-14hrs in 24, some kids might need less.

Also I think you only need to wake him in the morning until you've got rid of the split night. Basically don't allow him to catch up from the split night by lieing in in the morning. Once that has gone you can probably let him wake naturally.

All of these ideas sound good, particularly the routine.

Also, is he in pain from teething, is his room too hot, too light, etc. or does he have an ear ache or worms?

@LGBirmingham yes they do and I hadn't thought about that, what a genius marketing ploy for sleep consultants! I had actually said to my husband we may need to consider it. I think if I let him wake naturally he will sleep in so long again we would be back to split nights! 😩

@user1492757084 ive tried calpol incase he was in pain but it didnt have any effect, he's perfectly happy as soon as you get him out the cot. I tried him in one less layer last night and tonight incase it's too warm but all sunlight has been completely blocked out. I was going to say no right away to worms but I've been googling it and now I'm wondering! He slept through last night amazingly so suspect he will definitely be up tonight so will check his bum then, just incase

@Chica1990 yes genius marketing ploy 😂

Glad to hear you had a sleep through. Hope you've cracked it

Hey!! Im desperate as I’ve tried almost everything for a year. Did you have any luck getting rid of the split nights?

Yes I did thank god. Cutting his nap and not letting him sleep in did the trick! So I get him up at 7.30am and he naps for an hour in the day, he will go to bed at about 7.45pm-8pm.

how old is your LO and what's their routine?

@Isabellaaa3 meant to tag you, I commented above

Shes 27 months old. Wakeup 6:30-6:40 am nap usually 1 hour at 1 pm. And bedtime 8. Decided to cut the nap to half hour so she’s sleeping from 1-1:30. And bedtime at 7:30. Been doing it for 3 days, 1 night she slept through the rest she didnt

I'd get rid of the nap entirely at that age and bring bedtime earlier if she really needs it and then gradually get it back to 7.30ish.

I’ve thought about doing that but I feel she needs a nap. Maybe bc of the split nights she needs it and also I keep reading the sleep needs for 2-3 year olds and feel bad shes not having a 1-3 hr nap and 11 hrs overnight sleep

Yes it will be painful for a week or so but once she's not splitting nights she won't need the nap.