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Sleep

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Original poster

15 month old struggles and tantrums at bedtime when I try to put his sleepsuit on

17 replies

RosJ · 11/02/2008 22:44

I hesitate to use the word tantrum-but it's getting that way. He resists the nappy, the sleepsuit and the growbag every time and its getting worse. Today he kicked out with his feet and knocked his dad's glasses off and was about to bite me so I gave up for a while. He crawls off and plays for a bit and then comes back, especially if I cuddle up with his turtle toy and read a story to entice him back. But the kicking starts all over again when I try to put the next thing on him. This is the first time he's shown what seems to be deliberate "bad b'ehaviour" and I don't know what to do. I cant reason with him verbally, I can't hold him down as this would hurt him, and he's starting to hurt me. I'm starting to think I must be doing something wrong...and I'm worried by the violence-we don't hit and bite each other, so he's not getting it by example-do all babies go through this phase? Any suggestions? I'm wondering if I'm waiting till he's too tired perhaps before putting him to bed.

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Divastrop · 11/02/2008 22:49

sounds completley normal to me.i struggle to get my 11 month old dressed/ready for bed,as she always tries to escape.they all did it,though.i sort of hold her down with one hand and put nappy on/dress her with the other(i use pull-ups though for this very reason,i find it easier).she doesnt bite (yet) but she kicks out-i just hold her at arms lengtha nd let her get on with it!

Original poster

RosJ · 11/02/2008 23:03

Thanks for saying it sounds normal! I think I'm feeling a bit hurt as its difficult to resist being angry when he hits or bites me. He seems to be testing boudaries-he shakes his head and says "no,no,no" before he does something he isnt supposed to-this is a good warning system for me....

OP posts:

MegBusset · 11/02/2008 23:11

DS (12mo) can be like this at bedtime he is just very active and finds it hard to stay still while we get him ready, and it's made worse by the fact that I have to cover him in various creams for his eczema, too. I get DH to distract him as much as possible with toys etc, and just try to be gentle but firm with him, and ignore it if he starts grizzling I know it's not hurting him and he'll be fine once he's in bed.

I don't think a 15mo can 'deliberately' behave badly, I just think the kicking and biting is a bit of frustration and unspent energy, so try to duck out the way of that, I'm sure he is not actually trying to hurt you.

Also DS can be worse if overtired, so maybe start the bedtime routine a bit earlier to avoid that.

avenanap · 11/02/2008 23:13

make it into a game. Play heads, shoulders, knees and toes while youre getting him ready. Make it fun and he's more likely to play ball.

Desiderata · 11/02/2008 23:16

Take it all off. My ds always slept in the nude. He still does. I can't abide the thought of being smothered in bed to this day (and I'm 42).

He doesn't need to be dressed for bed. Let him go free. That's what he's asking you to do. He just can't put it into words yet.

DS underwent trials (as a for instance) at the Ann Diamond Sleep clinic in Bristol. It was about growbags and their capacity for harm. The jury is out, but there's no way I'd stuff a kid of mine into one of those.

I can't stress this strongly enough. If he doesn't want it, don't give it. Let him go free, without encumbrance. He doesn't want to be swaddled.

Can't you see that????

Desiderata · 11/02/2008 23:21

I guess you've gone to bed, but I feel strongly about this.

Take his clothes OFF, all of them except his nappy. Not everybody wants to be suffocated.

Your OP has literally made me shudder at the claustrophobia of it all. He's hitting you because he's bloody frantic.

No clothes at bedtime. Please.

MegBusset · 11/02/2008 23:23

Erm, not sure I agree with Desi. To me it sounds more like a typical toddler lack of attention span and desire to be crawling off exploring the world rather than lie still compliantly for ten minutes.

That doesn't mean that you couldn't try putting him down without the Grobag etc, and see if it works for you. But DS sleeps all night very happily in his sleepsuit and bag, which I'm sure he wouldn't do if he was uncomfortable in it! It's just wrestling him into it that can be a pain...

MegBusset · 11/02/2008 23:25

I'm sure the OP is not suffocating her baby

Think you may be projecting your own feelings somewhat...

Original poster

RosJ · 12/02/2008 08:49

Thanks for the responses. I'll try to make it into more of a game I think, maybe change him downstairs.

Actually Desiderata, I am trying to see your point of view but you are overstating it a bit, and it is your own personal preference not to wear clothes in bed. I don't feel guilty about dressing him for bed, as you are trying to suggest I should. I do worry sometimes about the grobag as they haven't been around for long...I have found it good for co-sleeping though.

He also struggles a bit in the morning when I put his clothes on-naked all day do you think?

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 12/02/2008 08:51

lol @ naked all day do you think?

MrsMattie · 12/02/2008 08:51

Personally I think 15 months is too old for a grobag. He is of an age now where he wants freedom of movement. How about trying him with a blanket / duvet?

colditz · 12/02/2008 08:52

I'd make sure you put something over his nappy or he's likely to take it off and piddle all over the room.

Original poster

RosJ · 12/02/2008 09:13

Yes, maybe I'll ditch the grobag. He's not walking yet, but he's very mobile and probably gets frustrated. Will kick off the bedding though I'm sure and our bedroom is cold. As we sleep together I'm still nervous about him getting under our duvet-I felt the grobag stopped him doing this as it keeps him warm-maybe he's old enough not to get trapped now?

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Original poster

RosJ · 12/02/2008 12:13

Bumping for myself...is that allowed . Wondering what other co-sleepers do about bedding. It seems more difficult to keep it on them than if its tucked in in a cot. I still sleep with the duvet around my waist but maybe this is not necessary anymore and I can be more relaxed about him sharing our bedding? Not sure, and generally very jumpy about safety.

OP posts:

Divastrop · 12/02/2008 13:20

i didnt see the grobag bit.my ds2 and dd2 had them untill about 10/11 months then had a duvet as they had no problems pulling it back over themselves if they kicked it off(i have always had cold bedrooms as well).i only did co-sleeping with ds1 who is 10 now,they never had grobags back then,he was fine under the duvet.

now,i personally cant abide the thought of sleeping in the nude.i dont know how dh does it,tbh.but i dont have an obsession about my dc not sleeping naked(ds1 does i think in the summer).freaky.

iwouldgoouttonight · 12/02/2008 13:32

We didn't co-sleep so I'm not sure about what he should wear, but with regards to him not wanting to get dressed I'd say it was more to do with him not wanting to lie still rather than not wanting the clothes/growbag on. My DS started this at a similar age - we did try to get him to lie down and gently hold him while he struggled but have now found it much easier to make it into a game, so basically he runs off, I chase him, he thinks we're playing hide and seek and gets all excited, I catch him and quickly put his vest on, he runs off again, etc, etc until he is fully dressed! It takes twice as long but at least he doesn't get upset.

I also try distracting him with things that aren't his - if we give him one of his toys he's seen it before so he just throws it away, but if I give him, for example, my hairbrush, he suddenly finds it fascinating and will stay still for long enough for me to get his nappy on!

My DS is 18 months and is still happy in his growbag so I would think it would be ok to keep him in it as long as he's not under the covers as well.

whatironing · 12/02/2008 15:11

My 15 month old co sleeper sometimes has my duvet (a light weight one) over his legs or sometimes just kicks it off. He had his own blanket until recently. he tends to roll near me if he's cold and away if he's warm.

Pyjamas rather than a sleepsuit revolutionised bed time for us!

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