How do I fix 22 months early wake ups.

[TheStuffalo]

DD is 22 months and ever since she was 12 - 13 months she's been waking up at 5/5:30am. we decided to cut out the morning nap at that point which didn't seem to help.

A few times a week she will get up at 4am Today wake up was 4:05. On these days I will usually leave her for 30-40 mins but she's crying/screaming/shouting so I don't leave her for longer because I have a 4yo DS who I don't want up.

her routine is something like this:

• 4-5:30 wake up/breastfeed
• 6:30 breakfast
• 8 leave for childcare (3 days a week)
• 12pm nap (when she is with us)
• 1pm nap (when in childcare)
• 1:30- 2:30 wake up from nap
• 4:30/5pm dinner
• 6pm bath
• 7pm bed (although sometimes DH pushes this to 7:20pm so he can spend a bit of time with her)

when she is with the childminder they put her down for her nap a lot later than I would do. I'm not sure how they get her to stay awake for so long because when she is at home she is tired by 12pm. I can't get them to change their nap times. she usually naps for 1.5-2hrs, very rarely longer. she does have days when she has shorter naps but this makes no difference to her wake ups and she is just really tired the rest of the day so she needs at least 1hr nap.

I have started going to bed at 9:30pm to try and not feel so bad during the day but it's not always possible as I sometimes have to work late.

Please tell me there is a way to fix this? I have bought a VTech sleep trainer to see if it helps but only used it for the first time last night and optimistically out the wake up time as 5:30am so appreciate it may take some time to click.

I have tried bringing her into bed with us for a feed but she doesn't fall back asleep.

the only thing I want to try is a much earlier bedtime is always dragged out because of the 4yo goes to bed a bit later and DD doesn't want to miss out on the fun. Also DH puts her to sleep and always drags our bedtime as he thinks 6:30 is too early so I need to get him onside

Sorry to be the voice of doom here but I’ve been trying to fix this for months now and nothing has worked, not treating as a night wake up, not leaving, not bringing into bed with me, earlier bedtimes, late bedtimes, cutting naps …

I’ve just had to accept that at the moment that’s when he wakes, it’s horrible though and makes the morning last forever. I’m really hoping the clocks going forward in a couple of weeks might reset until 6 at least.

She'll grow out of it.

Yes I think an earlier bedtime might be the answer.
DD, 21 months, was waking most days between half 4 and 5 with lots of crying. She naps for 1.5-2 hours at 12:30 but that's a long time to be awake in the morning. When I read that early wakings are usually caused by over tiredness, we decided to move her bedtime back to 7 (from 7:30). The change happened pretty quickly - she now usually sleeps until 6-6:30.
The other thing we noticed is that whenever she wakes, she's happy being in her cot for a while before we get up. I guess because she's actually more rested. She always has books in her cot so she just "reads" and talks to herself.

I would be of the opposite view and suggest bedtime is too early.. 7-5 is 10 hours sleep, together with the nap she's getting plenty of sleep...

Definitely don’t make her bedtime later.

There’s nothing I ever found to get them out of doing this, you just have to wait for them to grow out of it unfortunately.

Can you make dinner later?
Mine still wake early... she will either start waking later r get old enough to not need to wake you. I quite often come down (at 7am) at a weekend to discover the kids have made pancakes for breakfast!

We had a scary bunny alarm clock. If bunny was sleeping, it wasn't up time yet. It was hideous but it worked.

Thank you everyone. We have been putting her down earlier at 6:30/6:45pm and it's made no difference these past few weeks.

we also tried the v-tech sleep trainer and it's not really as good as the tommee tippee as the night light isn't on the whole night so when she wakes at 4am she has no idea it's still night and I rather optimistically set the wake up time as 5am. I'm pretty miffed as it was £50.

we have taken her to letting her stay in the cot until 5am in the hope she'll get the message and drop off. How she stays awake from 4am until midday is beyond me as I can barely keep my eyes open.

I dont know if this is genetically the way she is or if items just a bad habit she can't shake off or a combination of both but the early wakes are having such an awful impact on other parts of my life - my mental health, my relationships, work everything. I often work until about 9pm then just get straight in bed to combat the early wakes so I don't get any down time at the moment and everything feels like such a slog. Even when it's my DH's turn to wake with her im still up at 4am and can't get back to sleep or if I do sleep the kids make such a racket that I wake after 20 mins. We've become crap parents as we spend most of our days with the kids in front of the tv. Sorry for the whinge.

@CatOnTheChair that's encouraging 🤣 can't wait until mine can do that.

I'm in the exact same boat as you, OP! I have 4 month old as well and the 4.30am wakes are killing me.
I'm tempted to try wake to sleep tonight - anyone here tried it? I'm thinking around 3.30 I gently rouse her? Worried it's a crazy idea but I'm desperate. She doesn't go to bed until 7.30pm.

Clocks go forward Sunday morning, 5.30am will say 6.30 on the clock, just shift the other timings forward accordingly.

i used to put mine in the pram and rock until he went back to sleep. Sometimes would take an hour but then I’d get another hour or so in bed so considered it worth it

The clock change will be to your benefit probably.