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Sleep

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Original poster

Night weaning/ feeding to sleep

12 replies

Teaandcrumpets95 · 07/03/2023 16:00

Hi! My baby is almost 11 months and I'm eager to stop bf when he turns one.

My issue is with me in the day he typically feeds to sleeps (but dh can rock him if I'm not there) and feeds to sleep for bedtime.

I've been trying to tackle the day time naps first ( thought it made the most sense) but he will not go down without the boob. No matter what I do, I've put him in his cot, shushed/ patted, rocked; cuddles, face stroking, left the room and he just will not settle. When I'm holding him it's worse he gets very frustrated. I've just given in to letting him feed for his afternoon nap after an hour of trying to get him to go sleep.

How do I do this? And what do I do in terms of at night? He absolutely will not settle without a feed and it feels counter-productive to replace it with cows milk rather than getting him to sleep another way.

I really really want to stop bf but I just don't see how's it's possible if he won't be soothed/ sleep without it :(

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WeWereInParis · 07/03/2023 16:13

Will he sleep if pushed in a pram? My DD had all naps in a pram once I stopped feeding her to sleep. She napped in a pram until she was nearly 3. Thankfully it got to the point where she'd happily climb in, we'd push it back and forth in the living room for 30 seconds and then could leave it still while she slept for an hour.

Original poster

Teaandcrumpets95 · 08/03/2023 09:03

He does but it's very hit or miss and tbh our living room is upstairs so taking the pushchair up for naps isn't really a long term solution.

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Bluemum21 · 08/03/2023 20:51

Hi OP,

I had similar trouble with my DS (14 months now). My advice would be focus on the transition from boob to bottle before focusing on stopping the feed to sleep associations.

What is your son like with eating solids? Have you tried giving him an actual meal (rather than milk) before putting him down for a nap?

Flittingaboutagain · 08/03/2023 20:58

I'm tandem feeding a toddler and newborn but I looked into weaning briefly. The advice I read was best to drop one feed at a time, usually the easiest is when baby can be distracted by something else happening. So for instance my toddler could probably be distracted by a solid snack instead of boob at about 10.30 or 3.30 but not the morning or bedtime feeds. I also suggest going out for her to fall asleep in the pram.

lottie198 · 08/03/2023 20:59

So my little one is 14.5 months and we still breast feed but night feeds are pretty much none existent now. He naturally did this himself and so will your little one. A good tip off one of my friends though and we did kind of practice part of this as well is get your husband to sleep with the baby for a week. He will learn to settle him and baby will go back to sleep without milk.
I recently had surgery and was on pain medication (breast feeding safe but not co sleeping safe) so we had no choice for our baby to sleep with my partner. The first night he was more unsettled but the other nights slept so well.
I'm sure you already are but make sure you are offering plenty of foods in the day too. I find when my little one isn't eating well he wakes more for feeds , or if he's unwell or teething.

lottie198 · 08/03/2023 21:01

I was meant to add for day feeds try and replace with a snack instead and you will need to find another way to get him to sleep , car? Pram?
It won't be easy as breast feeding is sooo easy to get them to sleep but totally understand why you want to stop. I think I did too when he turned one but the older he's getting I'm actually finding breast feeding easier. He's a very distracted boy though and not one of these that wants to feed hourly. He feeds 4 times a day x

Original poster

Teaandcrumpets95 · 09/03/2023 20:07

@Bluemum21 he's great with solids! He's on 3 meals essentially and eats really well. Sometimes his nap falls straight after lunch and he will still want the boob, this makes me pretty sure it's comfort rather than hunger, especially since in that instance he'll fall asleep within 2ish minutes.

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Original poster

Teaandcrumpets95 · 09/03/2023 20:09

@lottie198 part of me is tempted to hold out a month or two longer to see if he drops the night feed himself but I just don't want to get 'stuck' doing in for more months to follow.

My husband is very confident handling him over night and we have tried to get him to settle him with me out the way but he just cries and cries until I give in. I guess I need to bite the bullet and get through some rough nights.

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Original poster

Teaandcrumpets95 · 09/03/2023 20:12

What I've been trying the past couple days for his day naps is only letting him latch for a minute or two until he relaxes then putting him in his crib and patting his bum to sleep. I'm having a 50/50 success rate with that, so I'm hoping if I persevere it'll take less and less boob then just pat eventually. But when I've tried it at bed time it's a no-go, same with overnight he'll just keep looking around and fussing when I try and get him back in the crib.

OP posts:

Bluemum21 · 09/03/2023 20:19

Yes sounds like it's definitely for comfort.
We had the same issue so I know it can be hard!

Does your DS take a dummy? Ours was a sucker for the dummy (pardon the pun) from day one so we found this helped A LOT.

Just for 100% transparency, we did end up doing sleep training with our DS as I was going back to work and he was still waking 3/4 times a night at 11 months, and we were all exhausted. It was a complete life saver for us. Would this be something you would consider?
I was so against it originally but I must say after 2 nights he was sleeping through the night and napping for 1-2 hours twice a day.

I know it's not for everyone though!

lottie198 · 09/03/2023 20:43

Teaandcrumpets95 · 09/03/2023 20:09

@lottie198 part of me is tempted to hold out a month or two longer to see if he drops the night feed himself but I just don't want to get 'stuck' doing in for more months to follow.

You've got to think, he's with somebody he trusts with his dad and it's not the same as sleep training as you will be meeting his needs.
Sleep training they essentially stop crying because they know you won't give them attention. Tbh I couldn't bare the thought of my baby going through that for even 1 night , I would genuinely take years more of no sleep and know I've nurtured my baby and responded to his needs.
I think if you try the approach with his dad, maybe give one good night feed and then hand over to dad for any other wakes. He will learn to settle in different ways. He will drop the night feeds in time though, it really is normal and 11 months is still young. Xx

Flittingaboutagain · 09/03/2023 21:38

I think if you try the approach with his dad, maybe give one good night feed and then hand over to dad for any other wakes. He will learn to settle in different ways. He will drop the night feeds in time though, it really is normal and 11 months is still young. Xx

^ this sounds like a gentle compromise I agree

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