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HELP PLEASE 21m Sleep Habits

3 replies

CatCake · 05/03/2023 17:30

Please could I have some help. I am at the of my tether. Used to have a great sleeper, in cot, leave, sleep through.

Sleeps fine for our nanny at naptime or if she does bedtime - puts her down, leaves - no issues. When I do it, she won't let me leave without a serious meltdown and I have to sit there and hold her hand for an hour, sometimes more. It doesn't sound that bad but when I'm spending upwards of two hours a day just sat there, willing her to sleep... It's really taking it out of me. Plus, she now comes into my bed every night sometime between 11:30 and 3am. I don't know how to break the cycle because she is so resistant to even the slightest withdrawal. I know resistance is to be expected but it soon reaches the absolute distraught meltdown point and I don't get past that bit. With the coming into my bed, I don't know how to break that cycle either - I have a teen in GCSE year who sleeps terribly anyway, so I feel awful causing them even more nighttime disruption, not to mention the fact that I am exhausted and find it difficult to not use bring her in during the night. I'm getting such little time to myself - she won't accept daddy at night or naptime so it is all on me and I don't even feel like I can go out in the evening at all now, as I think she would really create for DH and that he would be in such a bad mood by the time I got back, that it just takes any enjoyment out of it.

Please please could I have some advice / links to a plan of action which takes me step by step through a gradual withdrawal process? The way the cot is positioned in the room means that moving a chair nearer and nearer the door isn't possible (it's sort of directly round the corner from the door in an alcove). Desperate for some guidance, please Mumsnet. 🙏

OP posts:
CatCake · 05/03/2023 18:11

Just to add that this has been going on since she was 18-19m. Been waiting for it to pass but it just isn't. I really need some help

OP posts:
Marchforward · 05/03/2023 18:13

For both mine this improved at 24 months when we dropped their name and they feel asleep much more quickly.

LGBirmingham · 07/03/2023 06:47

I would say you need to shorten the nap. I think it's very common for sleep needs to reduce at 18 months.

She probably isn't sleeping for the nanny but just lying there. She's kicking up a fuss about not being tired for you because you are her safe person who she can show her emotions to.

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