Breastfeeding to sleep

skywalkersweetie · 2023-03-01T04:40:28+00:00

9 month old DS very dependent on breastfeeding to sleep for naps, bedtime and nighttime wakes. Keen to break this cycle as he's so dependent on me and I'd like it to be easier for others like DP and grandparents to get him off to sleep! Have attempted to rock, sing, shush, cuddle, pat and it very very rarely works. He's a very alert and active boy and doesn't seem to have a drowsy stage, either wide awake or fast asleep so it's difficult to get any of these methods to work without the magical breast milk. Occasionally have to leave him to cry, which I hate to do, as it's the only way to tire him out enough to get him off to sleep. Any advice as to how to tackle this situation and help him to sleep without milk, so he can eventually self-soothe?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Flittingaboutagain · 01/03/2023 05:57

Go out at bedtime and he'll settle with someone else a different way. There's no need for you not to feed him to sleep when you're doing bedtime. You're just making him upset for no purpose if you're actually home and doing bedtime. Babies don't need to have the same relationship with all caregivers.

My toddler will boob to sleep quite happily with me but when I want to be doing something else and I don't do bedtime she can read stories and then just lie down and go to sleep with her Dad. I didn't do any form of training. It's been this way since about 13m.

PurBal · 01/03/2023 06:07

Some ideas:
1 move his feed to the beginning of his routine, eg instead of bath, book, boob do boob, bath, book
2 introduce a comfort item (or even just a knotted muslin) that you’ve worn in your bra for around an hour before bed so it smells
of you
3 introduce a cup of expressed milk or formula as his bedtime drink (didn’t work for me but did for a friend)
4 I’m an advocate of sleep training, the first few nights were horrendous, but worked for us. (I can send you a DM if it’s something you’re interested in).

Also, DS even now he sleeps through at 19mo he won’t settle as well if both DH and I do bedtime. Has to be one or the other. I think he thinks something super fun might happen. Also recently started leaving a nightlight on so he can “read” to himself in bed.

Original poster

skywalkersweetie · 01/03/2023 08:02

Flittingaboutagain · 01/03/2023 05:57

Go out at bedtime and he'll settle with someone else a different way. There's no need for you not to feed him to sleep when you're doing bedtime. You're just making him upset for no purpose if you're actually home and doing bedtime. Babies don't need to have the same relationship with all caregivers.

My toddler will boob to sleep quite happily with me but when I want to be doing something else and I don't do bedtime she can read stories and then just lie down and go to sleep with her Dad. I didn't do any form of training. It's been this way since about 13m.

We've found this doesn't work, he seems to be expecting breast milk and my comfort, the separation anxiety is high! Same if DP tries to give him a bottle to sleep and does all the cuddling, shushing etc, he will cry in his cot til I come through and breastfeed and then he'll sleep.

I was under the impression it's best to keep the routine and sleep associations the same for all sleeps, at least until he's figured it all out and can soothe himself?

OP posts:

Original poster

skywalkersweetie · 01/03/2023 08:03

PurBal · 01/03/2023 06:07

Some ideas:
1 move his feed to the beginning of his routine, eg instead of bath, book, boob do boob, bath, book
2 introduce a comfort item (or even just a knotted muslin) that you’ve worn in your bra for around an hour before bed so it smells
of you
3 introduce a cup of expressed milk or formula as his bedtime drink (didn’t work for me but did for a friend)
4 I’m an advocate of sleep training, the first few nights were horrendous, but worked for us. (I can send you a DM if it’s something you’re interested in).

Also, DS even now he sleeps through at 19mo he won’t settle as well if both DH and I do bedtime. Has to be one or the other. I think he thinks something super fun might happen. Also recently started leaving a nightlight on so he can “read” to himself in bed.

A DM would be great please :)

OP posts: