Routine: is 4 weeks too early?

[FebMama]

I feel a bit all over the place at the minute.

Trying my best to apply the EASY routine with my 4 week old. It works at times, other times when he wants to sleep straight after a feed I allow him to and don't force him to stay up if he's sleepy.

The thing I'm struggling with is this: baby will feed, play for a bit, show signs of tiredness but then take ages to settle for a sleep. Before you know it, it's almost time for another feed and so he's only getting a very short sleep (he feeds every 3 hours).

Admittedly, his "wake windows" may be a bit longer than they should be, but that's because I also have a 3 year old and when baby is awake and playful, I use that time to sort my toddler out or even make myself some food/a hot drink!
So I do think he's probably awake a little longer than need be. Is this contributing to him not sleeping well in the day?

For example, he's just gone down to sleep about 10 minutes ago but his next feed will roughly be due in 20 minutes so that's only 30 minutes of sleep. I'm really worried he's not getting much rest in the day...

Am I just overthinking this at such an early age?

With my first, I was able to keep an eye on wake windows so carefully because it was just us. But I can't watch the clock so carefully when I have another child to look after!

Goodness. Very early! Enjoy these hazy newborn days and don't worry about routine!

@wibblewobbleball thank you for that. Torn between finding some sort of structure for our day vs just going with the flow. So different the second time around when you also have a toddler to keep occupied!

They’re 4 weeks! They have zero concept of any of this, bits of sleep here and there is normal, they’re not even physically capable of knowing day from night yet. They’re changing so often as well. Honestly ignore any concept of wake windows, get on with your day and baby will sleep when they need to sleep. A carrier helps, most babies are happy in a sling they'll wake and sleep as needed. They don’t need a routine at all, those are for the parents benefit and honestly I don’t think they help parents either when they get too obsessive about them.

FWIW I have a 6 week old and a toddler, I’m in this too. Just live life.

Thank you @BuffaloCauliflower I did think as such. Hate overthinking things. 😩 its causing me more stress than it should be.

Congratulations on your baby! How are you getting on?

When you say he is only getting a short nap, are you waking him or do you mean he wakes because he is hungry?

I started a routine at 6 weeks

We’re all good. Thanks for asking 🙂

I definitely think you’re overthinking and it will just cause you more stress. I loosely plan around my toddlers schedule (one long nap in the afternoon) but that’s it. Baby just comes along for the ride and sleeps on me, in the car, in the pram, in a carrier etc as needed. Going with the flow will do you good

Yes I have a toddler too and a 3 month old. Honestly, just lean into living life as PP suggests. I was obsessed with routine with my first and it's been so much better going with the flow. I have no idea how many naps or how long wake windows are etc and my baby is thriving and sleeps like a dream at night. Enjoy your baby OP!

@BendingSpoons he's waking himself, I don't wake him up.

@Emmamoo89 how did that work out for you?

@BuffaloCauliflower @wibblewobbleball thank you for your advice! I think there's so much out there about baby sleep and what things should look like at certain ages, it's hard to know what the right thing is to do!

@BuffaloCauliflower also wished my toddler would still nap but he dropped that ages ago 🤣

I just did bath time and a set bedtime. Worked out great. He loves a routine and slept through the night since 11 weeks 😊

I never woke a young baby unless there was a medical need or health appointment where they had to wake up, but maybe I read that bit wrong? I let them set their own routines at that age and went with the flow really. If they wanted to feed, they fed and if they were sleepy, they slept. I’d say there’s no harm in a mild bedtime routine but young babies can’t work to time - they communicate by crying or making little sounds or wriggly or tensing, so if they aren’t sleeping at a set time, maybe they’re not that tired or they’re uncomfy or just enjoying being close. I’d read books or chat to them at this point. Trying to work to a routine would be so stressful. I’d try to relax into it and just enjoy newborn snuggles as much as possible.

@ChaosAndCrumbs thank you for this. I'm not waking baby up at any point, he's feeding every 3 hours like clockwork.

@Emmamoo89 sleeping through at 11 weeks, sounds like a dream!!

I really wouldn’t stress about the day time. Evening it’s nice to have bath; feed, book and bed. We just get on with our days and baby sleeps / eats whenever they want

Just live! Feed on demand, let him sleep when he’s tired. He may fall into a natural routine because you have a kid already – my baby is getting woken at the same time every day by my older DC, same daily trip to nursery, same rhythm to life. Still does his own thing to keep us on our toes: an up-the-back poo here, a catnap there where we wanted a long nap, a three-hour nap when he’d ideally be awake, a clusterfeed when the eldest needs me. Fun!

He definitely gets tired at times when I can’t get to him but the sling is a godsend, and occasionally he just sleeps by himself in the Moses basket if I have to put him down and run to deal with something else.

When mine were a newborn and just under 2 one thing that worked well was a long walk in the buggy after lunch to get them both to have a nap then wheel them home and have a cup of tea while they were still asleep!