Hi,
This is more asking how to juggle a certain situation as opposed to "fixing" my toddlers sleep.
We have a 2yr old (turned two in Jan) and a 2 week old. So far, toddler loves his baby brother and for the most part and taken it really well. I have noticed a little bit of "insecurity" creeping in (follows me if I leave the room repeating "mum, mum", wants to sit on my lap as soon as I start feeding the baby, telling me to put the baby down etc) all of which I expected. He has always been a fab sleeper (small episodes of waking in the night, where one of us has always gone in, laid on his floor and he's gone back off). This was quite rare and usually when teething etc. The other night we had an awful night where he woke up HYSTERICAL at 1am, DP went in and laid on his floor. I woke at 3am to feed the baby to see him laying in his cot, not crying but wide awake looking at the ceiling. He did not go back to sleep all night, I ended up getting up with him at 5am. Felt a molar popping through the next morning and assumed that was it.
However now, he's started getting REALLY upset at bedtime - I have always been able to put him down and walk out, he just goes to sleep. Now he's started shouting for me, and then daddy, before gradually getting more and more upset. I hate hearing him cry out for us, it really tears me apart! I absolutely want to be there to comfort him, laying on his floor if need be, until he goes to sleep. I'm sure this is just a phase until he settles. However, DP is often out in the evenings due to work, sometimes staying away. How on earth do I deal with this on my own with toddler and newborn? I can't leave newborn on his own downstairs whilst laying upstairs with toddler. Also with regards to this happening in the night, I can't leave newborn asleep in his cot in my room and go through the toddlers for hours on end! It seems a bit mad to be sitting in on his floor in the pitch black holding a newborn aswell! For context:
• Both are bathed together and changed for bed. Newborn then put down and all of toddlers routine is the same - milk, books, cuddles and up to bed. This hasn't changed much for him.
• Toddler has been in his new room since before Xmas - this isn't a new thing, his sleep setting has not changed since the baby arrived (still in a cot, not ready for a bed). Has settled fine in his room since the first week after an initial wobble.
• Newborn still very much sleeps all day - toddler has most, if not all, of our attention all day.
• Toddler coming into my bed when home alone isn't an option, he does not settle and just plays, shouts, gets out of bed etc.
• DP returns to work on Monday after 2 weeks off, hence my current panic about how on Earth to deal with this if at home alone with them both!
I'm not sure if I need to be a bit firmer, if maybe he is pushing boundaries a little aswell as feeling a bit upheaved with the changes of having a new sibling.
Sorry if the answer is really obvious, i'm tired and sad for him and hate that he is feeling unsettled!