Newborn sleep

[QueenOfWeeds]

DD is 2 weeks old and I’m worried she isn’t sleeping enough. She just had her tongue tie snipped and so is still relearning efficient feeding (we’re combi feeding due to weight loss from the tongue tie) which takes her a long time. She will sleep in bursts of anything from 1 hour to 4ish hours, then feed/change and a bit of play, but she doesn’t always want to sleep again for a while.

I know it’s unrealistic to expect a routine from her, and I’m fine with what we have as long as DD is sleeping enough. I’m not sure how much we need to be actively trying to get her to sleep, and how much she should be left to her own rhythm at this age?

I'd leave her to it at this age, as long as she's not obviously overtired. If she's getting very unsettled and it's taking you ages to get her to sleep, it might be worth trying it a bit earlier but at this age it changes so quickly anyway.

That's fine! My newborn was a terrible sleeper. 10 minute cat naps every 45 mins to an hour!

Thanks. She’s so snuggly and good at contact naps - currently dozing on me after a feed - and I’m very much indulging this at the moment. DH loves his time cuddling her too, but is better than me at transferring her into her Moses basket or crib.

I’m so worried about her getting enough sleep that I’ll sit up for 3 hours in the night so she can sleep on me, rather than having broken sleep in the crib. I know this is my problem not hers, though. We’re getting better (I’m getting better) at putting her down in the night though, and she is generally happy in her sling during the day.

I remember being very puzzled by the expression 'sleeping like a baby' when my DD was little, sounds quite similar to yours.

She's now a very healthy 24yo engineer so I'm pretty sure it didn't do her any harm!

Sounds reassuring, @ErrolTheDragon !

She’s wide awake and cluster feeding this evening, but I have managed to get her in her crib for about 10 minutes at a time between bursts of hunger, which still feels like a very tiny win. I’m sure she’ll get used to the crib eventually.

My 5 week old doesnt sleep longer than 2 hours... im quite jealous of your 4 hour stint haha

Would you try cosleeping? She gets her three hours at night and so do you, and it will help her start understanding the difference between day and night (at night you don’t get to be held, baby!). Gradually as they sort themselves out she’ll get better at being put down at night, I think.

I really don’t want to try cosleeping. I know it works for lots of people, and I know the guidance on doing it safely, but it isn’t something I feel comfortable doing at the moment. Won’t rule it out in the future though.

Oh goodness, my DS was a really crappy sleeper as a newborn. DP and I worried so much that it was bad for brain development. I think 8hrs total sleep in one day was his worst effort - 10 his average. He's a chatty 19m old now who can say short sentences, knows lots of colours, shapes, can recognise numbers. His brain is fine. He sleeps through as long as we keep his nap to 1.5hrs, but was a terrible sleeper and contact napper until age 1.

Do you swaddle her?

We have a swaddle sleep bag, but haven’t tried a proper swaddle, no.

My DS was 2 before he did more than 2 hours! But you just get to used to it.

So she’s just thrown up her most recent breastfeed, 20 minutes after finishing (winded her and kept her upright but clearly not for long enough) so I’m assuming she’s got reflux…

Not necessarily.

She's 2 weeks old. She's still adjusting to life outside the womb.

She isn't designed to sleep for long stretches. She has no idea whether it's day or night. These are all things she's learning.

The sick might be a one off. Her digestive track is still developing.

How are you doing? Have you spoken to your HV about your worries? Anxieties are part of parenting. However, if you feel your worries are becoming overwhelming you speak to your HV for support.

Thanks @Twizbe. DH is checking in with me a lot about the anxiety too. I am a naturally anxious person and an over thinker, so I think for now this is more or less my normal, but definitely aware that I’m probably on the cusp of not coping.

I know she’s still learning (we both are!) and most of the time I’m ok with that, but I just feel so responsible for her and don’t want to screw it up. DH thinks I’m taking things too personally (he means it in a nice way) but I can’t see any other way of taking it! I grew her, and I birthed her, so obviously I feel like it’s on me if things go wrong - even if in my more lucid moments I know that is ridiculous.

Very normal feeling.

We are carry mammals and as such are designed to have a very strong bond between mother and baby. We're programmed to stay close.

The instincts can be very strong and quite surprising.

For most of us, before having a baby, we've not experienced such strong instinctive behaviour.

Please do keep talking and checking in.

Thank you. It really is incredibly overwhelming - I feel like I would do literally anything to keep her safe.

All really normal. DS throws up a million times a day; sometimes he just dribbles milk out, other times he does a big milk sick, just now he spent half an hour chewing then regurgitated something curdled on DP’s shoulder. He doesn’t have reflux, he’s just a baby – they’re really badly designed. They sleep for 30 seconds or three hours and you never know which you’ll get (usually the one you don’t want, that doesn’t work around the plan you made). They fall asleep feeding then evacuate their bowels and wake up when you change their nappy, a very poor system. Try not to play baby detective.

Could be putting on weight, especially after a TT snip. And sometimes the puking can he extreme when they're guzzling and upping your supply.

It's tough but it does pass and 4 hours is bliddy amazing!

5 hours is technically "sleeping through."

Ds1 was about 2 or 3 before he hit that magic number. Ds1 did a couple of six hour stints at 2 months but then didn't again till around 2 - ended up co sleeping with both as was just too tiring. Tried not to with ds1, didn't work. Just did from the start with ds 2 and I got loads more sleep as I just went back to sleep. Side car crib till way over 6 mo, might have even been a year or close to it.

Basically breastfeeding isn't as serene as in the ads. It's messy and puky and challenging to get right.

Ds 1 was tiny and had a TT which wasn't found till he was about 3 mo old. I could literally only feed lying down on our sides till just after then, day or night, as he found my flow far to hard to cope with. I had awful bf refusal a lot in the day too.

Ds2 was just greedy and I let him breast doze in the day so puked loads for a while.

You're doing fabulously!

Thanks everyone. I came up to pump and get to bed, leaving her with DH because she was refusing the breast. Guess who appeared 5 minutes later with a hungry baby who has now been feeding for over half an hour??

It’s so helpful and reassuring to hear from people who have been through this. Thank you!