My 3 year old doesn't sleep

[PrincesssConsuelaBananahammock]

As per the title, my DD was 3 in November. She has always been a terrible sleeper. Breastfed until 18m so assumed it was down to comfort feeding, but still no improvement since. We co slept until 2, as I became a single parent at 18m and I needed the sleep so she had a side car cot, now she has a double bed in her own room and happily goes off to sleep in there, I cuddle her to sleep and then leave.
She went to bed at 6pm, no daytime naps so this is her usual bedtime give or take 30 mins depending on her day. She's woken up 7 times already and it's only 7:30pm. This is a particularly bad night, but on average, she wakes 6-8 times a night and will not settle by herself, she screams for me.
Is there an actual issue or have I just been blessed with a sleep hating child? I don't expect a child so young to sleep through but 6-8 wake ups a night is insane. It's not even for drinks/wee's etc, she just wakes, cries for me and then settles when I sit on her bed with her.
Exhausted mum in need of advice here please! No CIO please, I can't do this.

Can you put her to bed at 7 and see if that helps? What happens when she screams for you?

Most things I could suggest are for either younger or older children! Have you tried serious bribery / reward? You'd have to make it age appropriate though so I'm not sure about that route. Would they understand? I think the best suggestion I have is to look up gradual retreat / disappearing chair.

Also does she eat her tea properly?

My ds3 is the same, he goes to bed ok (after 30 mins of me sitting in his room) but tends to wake up every 40 mins in the night from 11pm onwards unless he's in with us. We tried rapid return for over a week recently and it made no difference at all, apart from nearly killing us and making us drop the ball multiple times at work that week!

Why don't you just bedshare all together?

I'd say you're blessed with a child that doesn't know how to self settle (we all wake during the night and learn to just go back to sleep) she needs her comfort....in this case you for others it's a lost dummy or toy. I'd look at gradual withdrawal and work in her getting to sleep without you.

Ah you poor thing! Personally I’d just get in her double bed and stay there 😄😴

Thanks for all the suggestions & kind words. I do end up with her most nights, or she ends up in with me and DP, we have a kingsize but I have spinal arthritis (promise I'm only 27) and she's a starfisher so it ends up with me being in agony and none of us really getting any more sleep. DP and I both work full time too so we really are struggling. DD's dad doesn't have her overnight and only has her half a day Sunday so we literally do not get any time to rest properly.
Worth some GP advice or is this just the norm and I need to suck it up? A little bit lost, sorry

I would say it's not normal, but also not unusual 😅 What you do next depends on your parenting ethos. At this age you're not going to find that you can just leave her. She can get up! So then you could try just taking her back. My experience with a 4yo was that this didn't work. You could try gradual retreat / disappearing chair, which you can look it. It might be hard on you, and take a while. You can try bribery / rewards. My suggestions for this route are for a 4yo so not sure they'd work. Or you can make bed sharing work better for you somehow until she's a bit older. My sister went down this route and her son mostly slept through from school age. She's got 2yo twins too now and they slept through once four three first time last week. What you do depends on your parenting ethos really.

Oh and your childs personality!!!!

Whatever you do, you need to stick at it for 2 or 3 weeks. Don't think it's not working and change it too soon.

So you were a single mum when she was 18 months but now there’s a partner? How long has he been living with you? It sounds like there’s been a lot of upheaval. Did you move her out of your bedroom because he moved in? She may have some separation anxiety. I think probably bedtime is a bit early and I’d try and stretch it out until 7

Things which have helped for me.
White noise
Earlier near and then supper
Talking about waking up and snuggling back down to sleep because he is a big girl

Definitely most things work if you see them through

@Eatentoomanyroses yes, so he moved in a couple of months ago, but it was just me and her for just shy of 2 years and she got to know him over the course of a few months and absolutely adores him. This is a whole other thread but moving in together was soon but necessary, so we weren't left with a great amount of choice but DP helps out a lot and she settles with him too, so we do alternate the wake ups.
She's always been a terrible sleeper though, so although the last 2 years have bought changes, I couldn't directly relate them to her sleeping pattern.

I'm desperately trying to bring bedtime back a little, I don't finish work until 5 so I'm barely seeing her which I hate. She's literally crashing after dinner/shower and can barely make it through a book before falling asleep, but I'll keep persisting with distraction, supper etc to try and bring it back a little.

She's unwell at the moment, has come home with a stinking cough and cold so this won't help, but I think I'll take on board some of your suggestions (all PP) once she's feeling better and see where we get. Thanks all.