21 week old sleep getting worse and worse

[GlitteryGreen]

I am a bit stuck and don't know what to do re my baby's sleep.

We have never been able to put her down in the cot without her waking (or crying if she's awake) so ended up co-sleeping as she would sleep well that way, just waking for one feed about 3 and then sleeping past 7.

However now it's a different story - still can't get her in the cot and she is now waking up hourly, sometimes every 45 mins, in bed with me and I'm having to feed (not really feed but just put her on for a couple of mins) her back to sleep a million times a night.

I think this is also now leading to her having painful wind so from about 3 onwards she won't even let me put her back on the mattress as she starts writhing and making noise until she's picked up and put on the breast again as she seems to need to suck to pass wind, but has never taken a dummy.

I really don't know what to do, I started this week trying to get her in her cot for her first nap of the day and did manage it after 35 mins of crying with me going in and out frequently to calm her, but then I read that any sleep training is not recommended before 6 months so I stopped - but I really don't think she'll ever sleep well again if she's still next to me?

Instead of putting her on the breast each time she wakes, would I be better off getting up and rocking her?? She mainly feeds to sleep but has gone off at times being walked/patted. I guess this way she wouldn't have wind??

Help 😭

You can certainly sleep train a little earlier than 6 months, I did for the day naps. As you say, very tough with the cries but you find with each day it gets easier.

Weaned off night feeds at 6 months though as by this point they metabolically able to fast through the night - this does mean feeding a lot during the day and introducing solids.

I also got rid of all sleep props, dummy, white noise etc etc so DC could focus on self-soothing.

It works, just requires patience. They can't stay uo forever if they're tired, they will get used to cot and sleep.

This article might help. Their sleep changes so much in the first year we just have to go along for the ride. Honestly bedsharing and breastfeeding lying down is often the easiest way through, trying to settle them
another way will just take longer and keep you awake longer, don’t get up and move around if you don’t have to! You don’t need to sleep train ever, it’s not a requirement. I know it’s hard and it’s tiring but it really won’t last forever, and just as you think they’re set in one pattern it’ll change to another. Protect your sleep best you can, go to bed early, snuggle with them in the bed and don’t worry about any ‘rod for your own back’ comments, it’s normal development and they need you.

sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

It’s also entirely normal for them to want to feed at night at this age and much longer, you don’t have to stop. Breastfeeding isn’t just food, it’s comfort and security. They’re also waking because it’s developmentally normal to wake, and stopping breastfeeding at night doesn’t actually result in them not waking in most cases, just means it’s often harder to settle them. You don’t need to leave your baby to cry either. Makes me so sad people think this is necessary

Thanks @BabyOnBoard90. It definitely does take patience 🙈

@BuffaloCauliflower Thanks, tbh I am happy to carry on feeding her in the night when she actually needs it but she's honestly waking up every 45 mins (ish) at the longest and can't get back to sleep without me putting her on the breast.
The only hour of unbroken sleep I'm getting is when DP takes her in the morning before he starts work, but he's not always here to do that (like tonight) and so I'm just knackered. She is no good at side feeding and just gets more frustrated so I am constantly having to sit up and pick her up to feed, and then having to do it again when each attempt to put her down fail, which is every time after 3am lately. I am ending up spending most of the night either feeding her or propped up holding her, I just can't carry on like this.

You don’t need to leave your baby to cry either. Makes me so sad people think this is necessary

Sleep training isn't simply leaving your child to cry, it's encouraging them to self-soothe and settle to sleep more easily.

Ironically, despite the negative criticism, its not people that sleep train that are creating threads on this forum. Check your bias