Baby won't sleep in crib

[babyez]

My baby is only 6 weeks old - understandably he always wants to sleep in my arms. Have read all about 4th trimester etc - I let him sleep on my chest for a few nights which he obviously loved, but ultimately I am not comfortable doing this from a safety point of view so we are working on getting him to settle at night in our next to me crib.

Regardless of how tired or asleep he is as soon as we put him in there he is wide awake. We have tried swaddling, white noise, bath routine, old T-shirt that smells like me etc but nothing seems to work. I was awake the entire night last night trying to get him to settle in there - he doesn't cry all night but lots of grunting and groaning, flailing limbs. He has a dummy but I tend to find it can make it worse as he is unsettled every time he spits it out (which is a lot!) I am happy to persevere like this if I knew he would get used to being in the crib eventually but at the moment in my sleep reprieved brain it just feels like it will be like this forever. Does anyone have experience with sticking to something like this and eventually baby getting used to new normal after X amount of days / weeks?

Any other ideas of what we can do to make him settle in the crib? I know he is only little and of course sleep will be difficult but I just want him to be able to settle somewhere safer than on my chest. He doesn't seem that keen on co-sleeping in our bed.

Have him spend awake, calm/happy time in the cot to familiarise with it. Sounds bonkers till you think from his perspective of being placed in an unknown space, alone and in the dark.

Also, as well as swaddling, my DS had to be placed (fully asleep) against one side of the cot & feet touching the end, think it was a contact thing.

I always put him down bum first too.

It's tough, though. Our next to me was an ugly, unused ornament for weeks and weeks, and it just seemed to sit there and taunt me. But you will get there. Persevere.

Majority of babies hate cribs because each time they move they hit the sides. My sister in laws baby 4 weeks screamed every nap time time picked up. so she now sleeps in her cot since 4 days ago and has settled and slept well since. I had the same problem with my 3 babies aswell but I cottoned on from first and soon as the next 2 twins started kicking off didnt prolong the crib bit moved to cots and no problems since

There are a billion tips online (and sure you’ll get some here), but I never made anything work.

So my tip is to accept it rather than stress - co-sleep, do shifts, write off days so you can sleep while they nap with you in bed (or whatever) until they’re bigger.

With hindsight I found the pressure to ‘sort the problem’ worse than the sleep deprivation.

My baby was the same for the first couple of months at night but was pretty good from 4 months (took until 6 months for him to sleep in crib during the day - every nap was on me). So no 'sleep when your baby sleeps' for me. I was beyond tired and I just hadn't expected a baby that I could never put down - other newborns I'd looked after hadn't been like that! He also hated pram until 6 months. But I just wanted to say that things did massively improve - including napping happily in his cot from 6 months. So don't worry that this will go on forever even though it feels it now. Your baby is still so little at 6wks.

A tip I was given was to use warm hot water bottle to warm crib before placing baby down, and to use white noise. We also had a next to me but actually set it a bit apart from the bed from 8wks as I found it easier to stand up and place baby down gently.

@LadyJ2023, that made me laugh! Of course if my DC had to touch the sides, someone else's DC had to not touch the sides!! Babies, honestly!!

Op, I'm so sorry, this just proves it's about tinkering with every detail to find what works for you and your baby. It is beyond infuriating at times, but hey, it's at least another idea to try... Good luck!

Thanks so much everyone - this made me feel better. I tried the hot water bottle last night and to put him against the edges. He didn't settle in there but we had a better night with more sleep so feel more positive!
I have also been having him chill and be happy in there in the day - hopefully it will eventually work

This is so normal and it’s more to do with them not wanting to be separate from us rather than not liking the cot - though the results are the same. It’s totally possible to safely bedshare with your baby, and often the best way to get enough sleep rather than resisting it. Even if you want to keep trying with the cot it’s good to know how to bedshare safely if it comes to it, some guidance from the Lullaby Trust here

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Also - please don’t fall into the trap of thinking if they don’t do something now they never will. There is no rod for your back. A 6 week old, a 6 month old, a 1 year old etc all differ massively from each other developmentally. There’s no point comparing.

At that age mine would only settle in bed with me on her side in contact with me. I could then gradually edge away and ease her onto her back. It was still a bit hit and miss, and I would say only massively improved when her startle reflex reduced (she detested the swaddle). She now settles in her next to me for the first part if the night, but we then end up co sleeping due to 4 month sleep regression wakings. She is 4.5 months.

Acceptance!

Some nights we'd cycle through the moses basket, lay flat carry cot, snuzpod and co-sleeping several times each. Anything to make you feel you're doing something hey.