18wk old sleep hell - bedtime for a 4/5m old?

[AmberM2022]

Hi so as it says above baby is 18weeks old and has never been a good sleep at all. But in the last 2 weeks it’s just awful.
He goes to sleep anywhere between 7.15-7.45pm and now wakes an hour later. Then again at 10, then 11. Then will wake for a feed at midnight and then cry about 2, then 2.30 then wake at 4 for a feed and then back down. Wake at 5 - usually wide awake but will go back down with the dummy. Then sleep till anywhere between 7- 7.45.
I read a lot that usually wake up time should be around 6.30am? And i’m wondering if i need to start waking him earlier or not?
I know people talk about the 4m sleep regression, can i assume this is it? It’s hard to know what it actually is!

So,

1. can anyone give me any tips to survive lol.
2. Should i be waking him earlier / putting to bed earlier?
3. Is this the 4m sleep regression?
4. How long do these things usually last?

Does he fall asleep by himself or is he fed or rocked to sleep? How much does he sleep in the day?

I had one baby who ate, burped, poo'd and slept perfectly. I had a second baby and she did none of those things but loved to cry - drove me insane.
Looking back I wish I had just put the second baby in a sling and carried her everywhere and kept her in the bed with me at night. Only years later I realised that's what she wanted - very loving child and very in need of company.
Good luck hope you can get your sleep!

@Wnikat He is fed to sleep (not intentionally to be honest) He just has bath, pj’s and bottle and 6/7 nights he will fall asleep on the bottle! I have now and again managed to get him down drowsy but awake but he always falls asleep on bottle! If not i do pat his bum in my arms a little before i put him in the cot.
Daytime he gets on average about 2hr30 mins in total of naps

@beansmeanz I have never brought him in bed with us in the night just because i was scared to make it a habit for him (even though i may get more sleep!) And i wouldnt be able to sleep properly with him in with me anyway :(

I'd say it is the 4m sleep regression, it hits some people and not others. I think it lasts about a month?
I don't think your bedtime/wake time are wrong to be honest, all I will say is that I remember these days so clearly it gives me nightmares, things do get better though OP - it just takes time

@grapestar Oh thank you!! last night was an absolute nightmare woke up every 20 mins for 6 hours 🙃 it was torture!! just seems to have started and got worse each night. I think it will scare me for life!!

Like the other poster states - baby might just settle next week and you will get your sleep! here's hoping! (perhaps try more winding methods ? could be wind? I don't know im just thinking

To add to the mix could he be teething? And is your house warm enough / is he in enough layers! Last night it got chilly again and my little one kept waking I think because she was cold. Layered her up and she slept much better.

Never wake a sleeping baby. Mine slept midnight till noon. Bliss.

There are great videos on YouTube on adapting to 4M sleep regression and eventually sleep training as they get older.

OP...I could have written your post. My DD is 18 weeks old and almost exactly the same. I am surviving by co sleeping, although am worried about setting up bad habits. We also combi feed, and last night I had to get DH to take over at 5am so I could get a couple of hours sleep. If this continues much longer I think we will have to go back to doing shifts like the newborn days. I'm hoping to ride this out with time, but it is sheer hell. No advice but sending solidarity. If you find something that helps please for the love of God tell me!