I am at my wits end, please help. 8 month old just won’t be put down

[Lilyyy]

I don’t know how much more I can cope with this.

DC is 8 months, had a period of sleeping really well. Could put down in cot drowsy but awake, slept through the night.

last three weeks - will NOT go in cot. Has to be on me, screams if put in the cot, screams if I even put her next to me on the bed so co sleeping not an option now either.
she does not stop screaming, and gets herself so worked up she will start coughing etc if I don’t pick her up.
i think she may be teething but she’s been teething for ages. No teeth are through.

I live in a flat with thin walls so very conscious of my neighbours, sleep training and controlled crying isn’t an option as she is very loud and I’ve tried gentle methods but she will not stop screaming

I am exhausted and miserable, I don’t know what to do, she won’t even co sleep: I am starting to feel so down and like I can’t cope anymore. My husband works long hours so it’s down to me mostly.

what else can I do with a baby who won’t be put down anywhere except on me? I thought this was supposed to get easier, not worse. How the hell am I supposed to go back to work in two months if I can’t sleep at night

sounds like the 8m sleep regression. my 8m old sleeps on my chest for the last part of the night atm.hes just been unsettled for the last 2 hours, jusy given him to DH!

sorry my LO is actually not 8m, but almost, he's just over 7m.

can you bedshare? Will she sleep cuddled in next to you?

So sorry to hear you’re having such a rough time. I’m up and offering a virtual handhold. Not sure I can be of much help but could try:

If teething, and otherwise well in herself, try a half or full dose of calpol? Wouldn’t usually recommend doing them up, but if you think she’s in pain, might help. When her teeth finally come through the pain should subside.

Is it stomach problems that are stopping her getting comfortable on her back? Hence wanting to be on you? I forget at what age they start rolling and sleeping on their tummy. Get GP to check her out?

Could try sleep training again for naps, not night time. Did this with DD, less fraught than night time, and she learned to fall asleep herself which helped with night time sleeping.

But mostly, solidarity. Sounds like you’re doing a grand job in really hard conditions. Don’t worry about the neighbours. Take any help you can. If there’s no help, feel proud of yourself for doing it alone. And come on mumsnet for support.

Calpol before bed? Are they hungry? I would have just shoved a boob in mines mouth which fixed all issues!
Does sound like it could be separation anxiety, I would try and persist with the cosleeping.

see shoving boob in face always worked with my first. my second is currently 7m and am really struggling and this just doesn't work. he refuses to take any milk all night but cries and is upset at various points during the night.

Check she hasn't got a temperature. Give her capol, and then let her cry it out

If baby isn't happy with boob or lying next to you to sleep it makes me wonder if she's suffering reflux? My ds's reflux flares up at bedtime Try infacol or gripe water. Infacol is on offer in Tesco with a Clubcard and Gripe water cheap in home bargains.

Also if she has no teeth yet then id think by 8mo they'd be trying to get through and your instincts are probably right. My ds teethed for weeks and weeks before any sign of teeth. But he started early and by 8mo he had already 8 teeth. Does your baby use a dummy?

You sound so stressed op. Baby is probably sensing it from you too. You need to take a step away for a breather it is not fair to do it all on your own just because your dh works long hours. When is he home? He could help you at other times of the day so you're not so stressed when it comes to doing bedtime

Don't be hard on yourself re neighbours btw. They should be the furthest thing on your mind. You have enough to manage without worrying about thin walls. You never built the flat

Parenting is not easy x