What am I doing wrong?

[FebMama]

Let me start by saying I know DS2 is only still so very tiny! But I don't remember it being this hard with my first.

DS2 was born on Monday and so is only 5 days old.

I cannot for the life of me put him down to sleep. During the day he's a bit better, he might do about an hour at the most. But so far tonight, he hasn't slept out of my arms or off DH's chest once, and it's 3.30am. Whenever we try and put him down, he kicks up a fuss and suddenly begins rooting again like he hasn't just been fed!

He's constantly rooting whenever unsettled and I'm not entirely sure he's even hungry - I think it's more for comfort. He also doesn't like being swaddled

I haven't yet had a block of sleep (I.e over an hour) unless someone else has come over and help him for me.

I remember with my first he would at least be put down to sleep and wake roughly every 3 hours for a feed!

I'm so so so tired. It's been 3 years since DS1, is this normal for a newborn?

Oh no OP! How rubbish! My DD1 was exactly the same … DS2 was much better but I think it was because I was prepared in case he was the same.

I bought a Purflo sleep pod for DS2 and it worked a treat!!! Rather than holding him, I could put him in the pod next to me in the bed and rest my hand on him. He in turn could nuzzle up to the side of the pod…

the midwives kept telling me a pod is dangerous but I did lots of research and the Purflo pod is the only one certified for overnight sleep. It’s pricey but so worth a try!

keep going OP… it will get better xxx

Oh love it’s so hard isn’t it. Tbh you’ve probably blocked this but out from your first as day 5 sleeping 3 hour stretches us highly unusual .

wanting to be held and constantly rooting is normal, achingly hard and exhausting but normal.the best thing you can do is try and change your mindset to acceptance, stick films on your phone and let them feed and be held. Nothing wrong with comfort feeding? He’s prob trying to increase your supply, totally normal. But soooo hard. Get more help in the day from friends and family so you can skew. Or give baby to dad to hold whilst he watches a film for you during paternity leave.

it passes quickly (doesn’t feel like it now) but in a few days/weeks he’ll sleep longer and go down easier.

have you a next to me cot? We put dads T-shirt over the matress so it has a familiar smell but not a mummy/milk smell, heated it up with a hot water bottle before putting babe in so cold wouldn’t shock them awake. And rolled a large muslin into. Sausage, shaped like a U and put under the sheet/T-shirt then lay baby so her bottom was on the bottom of the U to trick her into feeling like she was being held.
also use sleeping bags rather than blznketd

goid luck, it will get better - love from mum in the 4m sleep regression! X

Totally normal for a newborn he wants to be near mummy..none of our 4 liked swaddling and its not how they are in a womb. They don't usually nuzzle for comfort are you sure baby is getting enough milk. Could want to stay near if feels hungry and sees your the supplier but maybe not getting enough being early days unless bottle fed.

Thank you so much for the replies! It's reassuring and perhaps I did block this out from the first time!

We have a next to me cot and a sleepyhead and also a Moses basket downstairs for during the day.

@LadyJ2023 I'm not sure there is a feeding issue as he has gone 2.5 hours between feeds this morning - he slept well because he was being held! The issue is when I try and put him down and he becomes upset, the only thing he looks for is the boob and then it's the only thing I can use to calm him down. But I have called the infant feeding team today for a video call just to check his latch etc and get some advice.

Normal. Look up 4th trimester

Just the luck of the draw I think.

My child (now 8.5 months) has been a challenging baby to the point I've had to employ several techniques to help sleep through the night, such as sleep training, mixed feeds, and early solid feeding etc.

Whereas my youngest sibling (15years younger) I recall being the most chilled baby. Barely cried, even when he was circumcised.

You just get what you're given, try to adapt and make the most of it. But it does get easier with time. Feels like forever but it's not.

I’m sorry, it’s so tough! I think it’s baby specific. My first was like this and my second wasn’t. I think it’s easier that way around. At least you know that it will get better and you will eventually sleep again. Congratulations on your new baby!

Yes mine had a couple of days where one of us literally sat up all night holding him… I watched a whole series of escape to the chateau.

All you can do is keep trying to put him down 🙃