Please help !?

[lottie198]

My 13 month old will not sleep longer than an hour. He just screams. He was up most of the night screaming. I gave ibuprofen and teething stuff and no difference. It's been like this for over a week and he's given me some bug from nursery and I can't even recover because I cannot sleep. He wants to constantly breast feed and I really am beginning to loathe it and feel so uncomfortable from it.
We co sleep and we have since 4 months because he wouldn't sleep in his cot. I've tried so many times to get him in his cot and he doesn't last longer than 15 mins. He's generally been a terrible sleeper but did have a period from 11-12 months of sleeping through or waking once or twice.
I return to work soon and I just don't know how I'm going to do my job on literally no sleep.
What is going on? I'm starting to feel down about it and pictured him sleeping much better by now.
I spend the night feeding, cuddling and rocking him and then we drift off together and he's awake again screaming

We all sleep in cycles and briefly wake between them. He's got to learn how to put himself to sleep, that way he will be able to do this for himself throughout the night rather than needing you to do it for him every time. You can do this very gently, lot of information online about how to start guiding babies to sleep independently. Good luck

He wants to constantly breast feed and I really am beginning to loathe it and feel so uncomfortable from it.
We co sleep and we have since 4 months because he wouldn't sleep in his cot.

Eeesh. Well in that sense you can't blame him for struggling to adjust to a pattern that different from what you've set for him.

Yes he can be sleep trained, but unfortunately that will mean you'll need to be able to stomach protests (which will sound like crying) and have the patience to be firm and decisive.

Remember they have to sleep at some point, and eventually when they get used to a new routine they won't remember the co-sleeping.

I would also suggest weaning off the breast - you can just express your milk to bottle feed or give formula. It will make your life easier.

Ultimately its down to you as the parent to provide set the routine and structure for your child to bend to, not the opposite. Good luck

He's never taken a bottle and never would. He dropped the night feeds completely and now wants to feed constantly.
I will certainly not sleep train. Not really a helpful comment

I mean my 8 month old is sleeping 7pm to 6am, but sure whatever works for you. You'll figure it out, eventually, no doubt.

Good luck

Ear infection?

There are several methods of sleep training, don't write them all off 🤷🏻‍♀️

The poor LO was sleeping through so he obviously knows how to. I know your first post was well intentioned, but all of that stuff makes no difference if your child is in pain.

Really sounds like there is something medically wrong with this poor kiddo.

Sleep regression maybe

I did consider this and tried to book him into GP but no appointments for the last 2 days. He's got no temperature. He is cutting molars, I can feel one is half way through. But surely they don't cause that much pain? Thanks for your message x

@LGBirmingham Yes his sleep actually got really good and he was sleeping 8-7 with no wake ups or sometimes one wake up and feed around 4am. Which was amazing! He just seems so uncomfortable this past week. I'm hoping for a better night tonight.

It could be. He's learning a lot of new words and has just learned how to stand for ages and walking a lot with his walker. I suppose his brain is processing a lot. The breast feeding aversion is just hard in the night. I don't get it at all in the day time.

Molars are hell. That will most likely be it.

Mine suffers badly with ear infections and has had lots of them whilst cutting both lots of molars. Not sure if there is a link or not? I still say get him checked out. Ear infections are more painful when you're lieing down apparently. Hence awful sleep.

Look after yourself as much as you can and I promise it won't be forever x

Thank you @LGBirmingham . He's never had an ear infection before and they always check them when he's been for viruses etc that have take a while to clear. It's probably the molars! He used to suffer with reflux as well and that seems to have flared up because he's got a cold. I can hear him gulping. Really feel for him and I just wish he could tell me what's up. He's been awake 3 times already but seems to have settled now.
Thanks for your kind message

Sleep training doesn't mean letting the child cry and it's not incompatible with BF. I breast-fed till age 3 and still sleep trained gently. From 12 months we started giving cows milk then oat milk in the evening.

i'm sure it's a phase. My DD (3.5 yo) is sick at the moment and nights are hell. Try not to overthink going back to work. It's all likely to change before then.

good luck xxx

Recent jabs? Ignore the weaning/sleep training comments. You’re responding to your baby, not creating bad habits. ❤️👏

My DS was exactly the same when he was cutting his molars and his canines (together!). There is also a big growth spurt around 12-13 months and a regression. He suddenly wanted milk at night multiple times and wanted contact to sleep which he had stopped doing. He is now 18 months and illness aside he is getting much better at sleeping. He still cosleeps as I also failed with the cot but he is night weaned completely.
The top molars particularly can give them referred pain in ears and head. It can be awful for some babies.
It took a month (at least) to pass while the teeth were cutting.
in my experience, months 6-9/10 were relatively easy for sleep and he had started to settle. It’s been months 13-17 that really tested me especially because I was back at work full time and we’ve suffered winter virus’s as well. It does get better. Ibuprofen helped a bit to get a couple of hours sleep at start of night.
Sending solidarity op.

And agree with @Sandrine1982 about going back to work. It’s so changeable as you know, I don’t know how I do it some days but you just keep going. I support providing comfort where it’s needed I know what you mean about being touched out. Do you have a partner who can do some comforting to allow you some sleep without baby?

@lottie198 I agree with @Sandrine1982 that you shouldn't overthink going back to work. I found work was very relaxing compared to looking after a baby and I work in a fast paced role with frequent deadlines. You get to actually finish a cup of tea for a start! Work will be a piece of p* don't worry.

@Workbabysleeprepeat thanks for your message! Sounds like it could be molars... he's constantly tugging his ears so clearly in pain. I gave calpol tonight. He does have ibuprofen and it does help sometimes I must say , but don't like to give it too much as can irritate stomach lining. (I mean he'd had it for a while when poorly so don't like to give it for days on end)
Glad to hear I'm not the only one who failed with the cot though. I really did try hard with it and was quite persistent but i never let him cry.
We are thinking of getting a floor bed for the nursery.
Your little one sounds very similar to mine. He had literally stopped feeding through the night and my supply had even reduced. But now the feeds are constant. My supply has adjusted again to feeds in the night. I thought the night feeds were over really apart from the odd one but looks like they are back 😅.

Yes I have a great partner, he's very patient and very good with our son. The problem is though he just wants to breast feed . My partner will rock him and cuddle him etc and sometimes it has worked in getting him back to sleep but it's usually a much longer process. I have considered camping out in the spare room and leaving them to it but I feel I need to be there for him. If he's got really bad tooth ache and suckling comforts him then I just feel that's what I need to do. I do get very touched out though. Maybe because he also pinches me and digs his little feet into my bladder when I'm desperate for a wee at 3am lol

@lottie198 my DH is currently sleeping in the spare room and I’m in with DS! It does pass but while they need the comfort I agree it should be offered.
I keep thinking about a floor bed too, I keep googling them. I’m now considering just putting a mattress in his room and moving in with him for a while in the hope he will eventually stay on his own. I might just have to accept that he’s here to stay until he’s ready to go in own room 😊
He is a lovely cuddler and is growing so fast, I try to focus on how much I will miss the cuddles when he is grown.

@lottie198 and yes the little feet in the face are my current favourite! He’s a wriggly worm. Keep going, sounds like you are doing great x