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9 months old and won't sleep in cot

10 replies

MeganTheeScallion · 30/01/2023 01:53

Baby won't go more than an hour at night unless on me. Losing what little mind I have left. Please tell me yours did this and they snapped out of it quickly?! Been weeks now, can't cope. Hellish. Beyond exhausted.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MeganTheeScallion · 30/01/2023 09:33

Fml

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pjani · 30/01/2023 09:37

You sound exhausted and I’m so sorry! It will pass but in the thick of it is dreadful. I’ve been there.

With baby #2 I just co-slept, so they were beside me in bed. Very snuggly. Feed back to sleep all wakes till 12m till we night weaned and they slept through.

Baby #1 at 8m I did a technique where I rolled baby onto their side, patted their bum rhythmically and firmly, and hummed a lullaby till the went to sleep in the cot. It did mean up to 30m of crying at a time but it worked over several weeks and - it’s a bit fuzzy now - they got good at sleeping in a cot.

tortiecat · 30/01/2023 11:02

Solidarity, OP. DS did the same. DH used to hold him after work between 9pm and 1am/2am so I could get a little rest and take over after that - we were both very tired, as even then he used to wake up and and complain regularly..! At 9 months we had to sleep train him because we were both close to breakdowns. Basically we followed our HV advice which was to put him in the cot and if he got distressed pick him up, cuddle him and put him back. It was a battle of wills and it was hard but after a couple of weeks he got the message and only woke for feeds. Also - no milk feeds until after midnight, because he just wanted to feed back to sleep too.

It really does feel like you are losing your mind, hang in there Flowers

MeganTheeScallion · 30/01/2023 12:23

Big love for your replies, they are making me feel a bit less shit, thank you!

It's the hope that kills you as well, when you've put them down and they're still for like 10 minutes then kick off again 😭

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pjani · 30/01/2023 12:28

I remember the 3 wakes before 9pm nights. Oh my god. Some nights my little one woke 12 times (that was sleeping in a different country, reflecting back on it I think she was cold, my problem solving was shot to pieces at the time).

But that baby was sleeping through the night 6 months later. It does get better. You will sleep again, I promise.

You will get through it if you change nothing and you will get through it if you try something new. Can someone help you?

Borracha · 30/01/2023 12:33

We are just tackling this now with DC3 (who is 16 months old) We co-slept from the day she came home from the hospital, but now I actually want my evenings and my bed back to myself.

Our routine is a nice bath, book, cuddle, into her sleep sack, give her her teddy to hold/cuddle, milk, then I put her down in her cot whilst she is falling asleep but not asleep (this part is important)

I then pat her bum, rub her back, hum etc until she falls asleep and then I escape. For the first few nights, she would scream as soon as her head touched her mattress and stand up. I would pick her up and cuddle her when I could see that she was really upset, but otherwise I just patted her/kissed her hand/talked to her and comforted her without lifting her out.

The first few nights were really tough, I won't lie. We are now about a fortnight on and she will go into her cot and lie down and fall asleep with minimal support. She still wakes maybe 2 or even 3 times a night, but is no longer hysterical when she realises where she is and will either put herself back to sleep or just need a quick pat/kiss from me.

It has been hard, but it's been so worth it. I actually feel like I am getting my life back!

CrispAppleStrudels · 30/01/2023 12:45

We had this exact problem at 7-9months until the HV saw me looking like a zombie and explained to me about sleep training.

We did something called Pick Up Put Down, which doesn't involve leaving them to cry. It took 2 nights and then DD slept through and probably saved our marriage.

MeganTheeScallion · 30/01/2023 12:53

Omg you are all angels, thank you thank you! I will try these. DH and I will go back to doing shifts like in the new-born days. This baby needs to get the memo that mummy is going back to work soo tho 😵

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RedRobyn2021 · 30/01/2023 12:54

My DD started doing this at 3.5 months and by 4.5 months we started bed sharing which was a life saver. I was not in a good place but was adamant I didn't want to sleep train.

They do grow out of it 100%

Just be mindful that not all children will respond to sleep training the same, it can depend a lot on their personality. Also, just follow your mum instinct in that respect, I get it works for some people but it doesn't for everyone.

MeganTheeScallion · 30/01/2023 12:54

It's a good job they're cute isn't it 😆

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