My kids won’t sleep - help

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Honestly it’s affecting my mental health now - last night for example

got into bed at 10pm to try and get a decent night - 2 year old up multiple times until around 11.30, then 4 year old up at 12 - took maybe an hour to go back to sleep. 2 year old awake at 5am.

I genuinely can’t function like this - tips please to get them to sleep better 😥

So sorry to hear this, it really is a form of torture! Before offering advice can you tell us your routines and what their sleep has been like up to this point?

Are you on your own with them?

Do you co sleep or do they sleep in their own rooms?

It's hell. I know this because I lived it.

I'm a firm believer in sleep begetting sleep. Are they going to bed early enough? Do you have drinks ready for them or do you have to get up to get them a drink? Are you changing nappies in the night? Tell us all about what your routine is like, what they wake for, when they nap etc etc.

Are they tiring themselves out enough during the day - fresh air, exercise / nursery etc?

No day time naps - only occasionally in the car. 2 year old used to be a great sleeper but increasingly we’re seeing nights like this - she’s in an absolute terrible mood this morning because of it.

Not co sleeping. 4 year old has a very mild cough which won’t be helping - he’s always been a really early riser though (like 4.30-5am) no matter what we’ve tried. But when he woke up last night he was have a tantrum as he wanted me to sleep in his bed (not sure why - this isn’t something that we’ve routinely done or anything!). He is still quite wet at night because he’s a big drinker.

bed is around 7pm - 2 year old straight to sleep although she does play with toys in her cot sometimes for a few minutes. 4 year old can read/look at books for a bit or sometimes watch something in bed for 30 mins before lights out. They have milk and a snack before bed.

@tocas yep, regular soft play, long walks with dog, at forest school 3-4x a week. Let re of activities.

its me and my partner, but I do most of the stuff in the night. He’s better at ignoring and 4yo only wants me, proper mummy’s boy.

we were alternating lay ins but it made every other day so stressful for the one up early that we never had a nice evening or morning together so we’ve stopped that other than weekends

4 yo is old enough to understand in the mornings he has to play quietly in his room until a certain time, 7am for example, and shouldn't wake you up. We give our 4yo her kindle to get back into bed with.

The child is watching a screen in bed?

How much outdoor activity do they get each day?

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune not every day, it’s something we literally only introduced maybe 5ish days ago in the hope that he might sleep later than 4.30/5. He asks to go to bed at 7pm but to get even close to 5.30-6am wake up needs to be much later than that so it’s a bit of a catch 22.

He has a gro clock but mostly ignores it

I’m assuming you’ve done all of a this but is there a physical reasons for waking hunger (give supper before bed), worms?, teething?, ear ache, needing a wee (take to the toilet before lights out), not getting the minimal 3 hours of exercise a day as recommended by NHS, cold (put an extra blanket on them before you go to sleep).

Do you have a solid bedtime routine. Bath, supper, teeth brushing, books, last wee, lights out and then cuddle in bed?

Drop the screens for a least 2 hours before bed.

Outdoor activity the 4 year old pretty much daily, likewise 2 year old but sometimes she’ll skip a long dog walk as she can’t walk the whole way round the fields.

Screen time like I said was a recent attempt to try and make his bedtime a little later - I will work on dropping that again.