Hi...I am at the end of my wisdom here and do need some help. My son is 8..he's a lovely, bright boy and very social. His Dad and I split/divorced over 6 years ago and he (my son) has a half brother, who's one and a bit. J (that's his initial), stays every other weekend with his Dad and every thursday during the week...well, that is if his Dad can stick to the routine (not very frequently, which I am sure is part of the problem). Anyway, when he's with me (and his Dad so J tells me), I do the entire routine: play, bath or wash, eat, brush teeth and then reading time together..we read about half an hour, first him, then me and then I stay with him for another 10 minutes or so and stroke him. That is a kind of a ritual that we've always done, mainly, to get him to sleep. For years now, he stays awake for at least another hour, with eyes wide open, telling me that he is trying to sleep but he can't. I have calmed him, was angry or upset at times, tried hot milk and honey, massage, talking to him, using a "worry bag" to leave all his thoughts behind..nothing works. He says his mind is busy and I know the harder he tries, the more difficult it is for him to fall asleep. Sometimes I lose it because I am a hard working mum and need some space in the evenings too..obviously that does upset him and me...needless to say, he doesn't like to get up in the morning and that creates more tension as we have to go to school and work. I feel terribly guilty of not being able to provide him with more time from my side or a better routine with Dad...J loves us both and I have always supported J to also see his Dad etc. He doesn't tell me if there is something on his mind, maybe he doesn't know himself...does nayone have any other ideas, tips to deal with this..? J said the other night, mum, maybe I need some medication, well drops that make me sleep. I have offered him 2 points for a sleeping sticker on his reward charge and it still doesn't work....HELP.!
PS In case you want to suggest to get a better routine for him, I have tried to sort it out with his Dad over years but he doesn't consider things to be a problem.
Thank you