Training 3-month-old to nap in Moses basket

[afternoonbiscuit]

Hello!

First time mother and poster here.

My 3-month-old DS will only nap on me or in his pram during a walk (though the latter has become patchy and quite stressful recently). I’ve been trying for the last eight days to put him down in his Moses basket for his first nap of the day in the hopes of gradually weaning him off sleeping on me - maybe then I’ll get something done for once!

It takes about 2 or 3 tries (I have to put him down asleep or almost asleep, otherwise it doesn’t work), but I have managed to get him to sleep in it for 30 minutes. One magical day he managed 55 minutes! Another day he just wouldn’t sleep in it and today he did 13 minutes, after which I couldn’t get him to sleep for hours and sighed as he became increasingly fussy and overtired…

Getting him to sleep requires vigorous bouncing, so having to do it two or three times for just a 30-minute payoff (if any) is tiring, meaning I don’t enjoy the process. But more importantly I worry that I’m disrupting his daytime sleep and am
pushing him too soon. If I didn’t impose the basket on him in the morning he could have another delicious nap on me instead and might get more daytime sleep, which might just make us all happier.

Should I persevere or wait until he’s a bit older to try? My idea was to gradually put him down for other naps once the morning one was established, but I recognise that he might be happier and more well rested with a few more months of contact napping.

It’s worth noting that he sleeps in his basket at night and recently has started being able to fall asleep in it himself and self-soothe quite often (though he only sleeps about 1 hour at a time these days - another trial!!), but he’s very sleepy at night and I have no hope of him doing something like that during the day anytime soon.

I would love to hear any thoughts!

How long is he awake for before his first nap? Is he showing signs of being tired? I remember reading a lot about putting baby down 'drowsy but awake' but I had limited success with this and sometimes it was easier just to put them in fully awake or fully asleep.
Do you do a mini bedtime routine? I found my youngest napped better once I started doing a nappy change, sleeping bag, story, song then crib. Like what I would do at bedtime to help her associate it was sleep time.

He may not fit in the Moses basket much longer so is it worth trying to get him to sleep in a cot?

@Raggeo He will be up for about 1.5 hours and is usually tired by then. I haven’t tried a mini bedtime routine with him for naps - thank you for that idea!

@escapingthecity He still fits in the basket for now but I think I’ll have to transition him to the cot in the next month. Curious to see how that goes!

Mine both hated the lovingly chosen and expensive Moses basket.
They liked to sleep in their baby bouncer and tolerated their cot.
otherwise it was sling, Pram or car seat
It got better as they got older and eventually they had long naps in their cots.

I’d just go straight to the cot rather than getting him in the basket, then the cot.
Try warming the mattress with a warm, not hot, hot water bottle before you put him down. Obviously don’t leave it in.

Not sure if it's relevant for you but the Love 2 Dream swaddle bag was the miracle cure for me around that age.
My baby had a very strong moro reflex and I realised that when he was falling asleep in his basket he'd hit himself in the face, wake up and repeat.
He would only nap on me or in the sling but never in his pram or in his basket.
As soon as I put him in the Love 2 Dream swaddle he napped in his basket for 2 hours. He liked having his arms up above his head and could still suck his hands but it lessened the moro reflex so no more slapping himslef in the face.
We used the one with arms for around 6 weeks and then got the one with detachable arms so I could ease him into having his arms free in time for rolling and as the moro reflex faded.

Thank you everyone for some good ideas! I’ve added a hot water bottle and Love 2 Dream swaddle to my list of things to try.

Honestly don’t worry. My first didn’t sleep anywhere but on me for first 13 or so weeks except in the pushchair ONLY if it was moving. I spent ages trying to get her to nap. Wish I’d just concentrated on nighttime and let her sleep on me or in a sling with a book, the tv remote and a packet of biscuits when she was tiny. We would have all been a lot better rested! Gradually got better in that once asleep in the pram she’d stay asleep for 45 mins so I could park it up inside or in a coffee shop. By 9 -12 months she was napping like a trooper in her cot.

Use the cot, swaddle him, and put him down awake.
If you're bouncing him around for ages to get him to sleep you're making a rod for your own back.

I bounced mine for naps and bedtimes and then one day around 6 months she was wriggly so I lay down in her cot, and she yawned, rolled over and went to sleep. I've never soothed her to sleep again. Bouncing them is entirely natural and extremely effective, that's why people instinctively do it.

OP, I started off just getting the first nap of the day in the cot and building from there. Then you don't feel like you're spending your whole day boincing. I did the 2nd one walking and 3rd as a sofa snuggle. 30-55 minutes is also a pretty good start! But as per a previous poster, try not to get too caught up in it. I know it's hard when you're in the thick of it but he'll learn to sleep in his cot. It'll all be fine.

Thank you, @Finallysleepingnow and @Kitcaterpillar, that makes me feel so much better! Some days I feel so stressed and exhausted worrying about his naps that even waking every hour at night has become more tolerable to me than handling his daytime sleep habits! I think I’ll continue with the one morning nap in his basket (soon cot) and just chill out about him sleeping on me for his other naps until he no longer needs it. I’ve also started trying to have some co-sleeping naps now that I’m more confident with that.

It’s funny how others (mother, health visitor, family friend) pressure me to “just put him down”, but without other children to take care of I can actually just be on my bum much of the day and don’t mind it (when I’m not overthinking it!).

@TheShellBeach Unfortunately nothing will get him to sleep during the day except bouncing! Sometimes feeding.

Oh, you're not alone. I got the same and now I look back and wonder why I was so worried all the time (lack of sleep and hormones is probably the answer!).

And my mum was the same, always saying 'well, you couldn't do it if you had another one'. Yeah, ok? I don't have another one though?! Such an odd comment.

Start working on an independent morning nap if that feels good, then you've got two more naps to get him rested if it's all a disaster. But honestly, if you're happy bumming about cuddling him and watching films and napping - just do that. Noone's ever going to pay you to cuddle and nap again, enjoy the shit out of it.

None of my 3DC would be put down anywhere for naps. They fell asleep in the car or in the pram when out for walks.

For the youngest, I used to time our walks to coincide with nap time and let them sleep in the pram in the hallway when we got home. As they got bigger they'd nap for about 2 hours in the pram & I used to rest watching TV- it was great!

Unfortunately nothing will get him to sleep during the day except bouncing! Sometimes feeding.

What happens if you just put him down in his cot (awake) and wait for ten minutes by the clock? Give it a try.

You're going to be one of those posters who comes back on here when their child is three (years) old, asking for advice because your child will not go to sleep unless you stay with him for hours and hours in the evening.

Seriously - get him into good habits early.

You're going to be one of those posters who comes back on here when their child is three (years) old, asking for advice because your child will not go to sleep unless you stay with him for hours and hours in the evening.

Again, I bounced my baby for day and night sleep. She stopped needing it on her own at 6 months. At 2.5, I put her in bed, sing her one song and leave the room, and she falls asleep happily.

Giving small babies the things they need to sleep isn't a bad habit, it's just being a nice mum. That's why cots that rock, bouncers, rocking chairs etc etc exist, and why nearly all of them sleep on the move. They grow out of it.

I just did contact naps until 9months but worked on getting good sleep in the cot overnight. Around 7-9 months we did gentle sleep training (pick up put down method) to crack the overnights and then employed the same technique for daytime naps in the cot. I look back so fondly on all those days snuggled up cuddling DD whilst she slept. Make a nest on the sofa with a drink, a cushion for under your arm and a box set to work your way through.

Also, at 3months you might be heading into the 4month sleep regression so maybe not worth the effort if it all gets undone at that point!

Echo pp that the love2dream swaddle is a lifesaver but check Lullaby Trust advice on hot water bottles as they put something on their instagram about them recently?

Thank you so much, @Sunnyshoeshine, @BeckettandCastle and @Kitcaterpillar - this is all so encouraging to hear! It’s funny how often pressure from others or what you read online can make you think you need to go against your natural instinct (I’ve also had the “if you had another child…” comment). In my case it’s to have him sleep on me, as that’s clearly where he’s happiest and gets the most rest. If we’re having a particularly bad night I’ll co-sleep with him for the last few morning hours and it’s amazing how lying next to me immediately plugs him in to happy, calm sleep after hours of constant waking in his basket. I’ll stick with the contact napping and use it as a time to finally dust off my notes and finish my PhD thesis…!

@TheShellBeach I certainly hope by 3 years he won’t need the bouncing anymore! I have tried to put him down awake and sleepy, but it never works. I’ve also tried settling him in the basket with my hand, gentle jiggling, pacifier… these things work at night but have zero effect during the day. He just plays with his hands, inspects the basket lining or cries.