Tips on No Cry Sleep Training

Bethanne49 · 2023-01-21T03:29:36+00:00

Hi, I need tips on sleep training my 8 month old daughter. I can’t leave her crying so I’d appreciate any tips you have for me that don’t involve that. Right now I’m breastfeeding her to sleep, and she wakes up every 1 to 2 hours at night and I feed her then too. I’ve tried not feeding and just rocking and holding her to sleep, or just simply staying with her but it doesn’t work. She just screams and cries until I pick her up and feed her. I’m running on empty and would appreciate any advice!

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Calphurnia88 · 21/01/2023 07:55

What is your goal?

If you're wanting to reduce night wakes without tears then the first thing you need to do is look at the balance of day and nighttime sleep. Is she getting enough/too much sleep in the day? What time are her naps?

Aside from that, it's really normal for babies to wake at night and they will all grow out of it eventually.

Squamata · 21/01/2023 08:17

Do you have a partner who's around at bedtime? A feed downstairs then up with partner for rest of bedtime routine might work. She knows you have milk, she associates it with sleep, she wants it!

The whole thing is to change her sleep associations, you could try feeding her but not letting her fall asleep, putting her down awake and sitting with her? So routine that is eg pyjamas, teeth, story, bf, down into bed with a song - get her to associate the whole routine with sleep then eventually remove the bf element or do that downstairs.

We did gradual retreat sleep training, DC cried but we were with them the whole time. And it's only a few days while they change their association's. Up to you though!

As pp said, babies wake at night, it depends how much it impacts you though. I know some parents who went the gentle route and still co sleeping etc at 3yo and beyond.

BabyOnBoard90 · 21/01/2023 08:35

If there was a way with absolutely no protest/ cries we would all be doing it

lorisparkle · 21/01/2023 08:47

I bought the book 'teach your child to sleep'. We did a very gradual reduction in how much support we gave in helping ds get to sleep and a gradual increase in time between feeds.

It wasn't 'no cry' but we never left him to cry and always gave him comfort in one way or another.

It wasn't a quick process but was flexible and could be adapted when he was poorly or we went on holiday.

After a few months he was sleeping 12 hours at night and having 2 good naps.

converseandjeans · 21/01/2023 08:56

Routine - get them up every morning at 7. Not too much daytime sleep.

I never left mine to cry but a routine works.

Squamata · 21/01/2023 10:01

I think you can also distinguish between a cry that says 'I'm tired and pissed off and don't understand why you're not doing what we always do' and a cry that says 'this is scary and horrible' tbh.

The form of sleep training we did made DD cry, but we were always there with her so it didn't feel so bad.

Original poster

Bethanne49 · 21/01/2023 19:07

Thank you so much for all your responses! It’s very helpful, and gave me some good ideas.

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Original poster

Bethanne49 · 21/01/2023 19:11

BabyOnBoard90 · 21/01/2023 08:35

If there was a way with absolutely no protest/ cries we would all be doing it

I know right! Maybe I should say minimal crying lol

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GinnyBee · 21/01/2023 19:58

How is she eating in the day? Mine is the same age and has started waking more frequently these past few days so every 1-1.5 hours instead of the 2-3 hours we were at before and I’ve noticed it’s coincided with him being really distracted at meal times and not eating much, then wants to nurse a million times at night! He used to only feed once or twice overnight, now it’s 4-5 times and he doesn’t settle with anything else! Today I made more of a conscious effort to get more food into him instead of giving up as soon as he loses interest and so far he’s doing better (although I know it’s still early, but yesterday for example he had already woken up twice by now)

Original poster

Bethanne49 · 21/01/2023 23:23

GinnyBee · 21/01/2023 19:58

How is she eating in the day? Mine is the same age and has started waking more frequently these past few days so every 1-1.5 hours instead of the 2-3 hours we were at before and I’ve noticed it’s coincided with him being really distracted at meal times and not eating much, then wants to nurse a million times at night! He used to only feed once or twice overnight, now it’s 4-5 times and he doesn’t settle with anything else! Today I made more of a conscious effort to get more food into him instead of giving up as soon as he loses interest and so far he’s doing better (although I know it’s still early, but yesterday for example he had already woken up twice by now)

Ah! This makes sense, my daughter does the same thing at mealtime. Thank you so much.

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olderthanyouthink · 21/01/2023 23:54

Https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Just get through it. It will get better

Original poster

Bethanne49 · 22/01/2023 03:33

olderthanyouthink · 21/01/2023 23:54

Https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Just get through it. It will get better

Wow I’m glad I read this article. Thank you so much for sharing the link.

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Dinneronmybfpillow · 22/01/2023 03:42

Just sending solidarity. Sat up with DTs for the 3rd time since going to sleep at 9pm. If I had a singleton I'd be co-sleeping and feeding on my side, alas even my saggy boobs won't stretch that far to do one behind my back 🤣

RedRobin100 · 22/01/2023 03:47

They will cry. But honestly, they also learn very quickly that they’re not being picked up and to let themselves go back over to sleep.
if you do it right you can train this very quickly
and effectively, honestly, I did with both mine.

They meat cry, but we know they are safe and being looked after..

RedRobin100 · 22/01/2023 03:47

*may cry

Shouldbesleeping1 · 22/01/2023 06:41

Your partner needs to take over and do it. I know it sounds mean but my kids just weren't as fussed about DH as they were with me so didn't cry at bedtimes when he put them down. They got used to the idea and hey presto - bedtime sorted

Original poster

Bethanne49 · 23/01/2023 02:26

Dinneronmybfpillow · 22/01/2023 03:42

Just sending solidarity. Sat up with DTs for the 3rd time since going to sleep at 9pm. If I had a singleton I'd be co-sleeping and feeding on my side, alas even my saggy boobs won't stretch that far to do one behind my back 🤣

😂😂 glad to know I’m not alone, but I hope you got enough rest.

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comfyshoes2022 · 23/01/2023 02:50

BabyOnBoard90 · 21/01/2023 08:35

If there was a way with absolutely no protest/ cries we would all be doing it

Exactly.

If you want to help her learn how to fall back asleep in a totally new way (i.e., not nursing every single time she finishes a sleep cycle) there is likely to be at least a little complaining/discomfort.